“You fishing for a favor, baby?” I teased. Her body tightened defensively.
“What, because I cooked?”
“Yeah, you never cook. That’s what we’ve got Mimi for.”
“Well, I just wanted to. You were so sweet to Melody today.”
I reached for a small piece of bread and put it in my mouth. “She’s a great kid.”
“She is.” Kate turned to meet my eyes. “She loves to read and she plays with her dolls for hours at a time. Melody’s not … she doesn’t expect much, which is sad. But she had it bad, that’s why she’s in foster care.”
Her big brown eyes were imploring, and I was about to ask what was up when the timer on the stove sounded.
“The lasagna’s ready,” she said, turning and reaching for a pot holder.
“I’ll get it,” I said. “You sit down and have some—” I was planning on saying ‘wine’ but caught myself. “—water or something.”
She took a seat at the table and sighed. “How was the rest of your day?”
“Good. Did you get anything done on the youth hockey thing with the foundation?”
When she didn’t respond, I looked up from the pan of lasagna to her. She exhaled loudly and I could see she was deep in thought. I tossed the dishtowel in my hand on the counter and walked over to sit down next to her.
“Hey, what’s up? You look worried. Everything’s okay with the baby, isn’t it?”
She wrinkled her brows with surprise. “As far as I know. I’m not worried, I’m … nervous. Or maybe I am worried, I don’t know.”
“About what?” I leaned forward to get a little closer to her. “What the hell is up, Kate? You’re worrying me.”
She reached for my hand and clutched it tightly. “No, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. I’m just afraid you’ll say no.”
“No to what?”
She added her other hand to the one that was already squeezing mine, sandwiching my big one between her smaller ones. “I want us to adopt Melody.”
My surprise must’ve registered on my face, because she clung to my hand like a lifeline. “I know. You’re thinking it’s sudden, and it’s a huge deal, and you’re wondering if it’s just to somehow make up for not getting to adopt a baby—”
“No.” I cut her off, rubbing one of her shoulders with my free hand. “I wasn’t thinking any of that, baby. I just … wasn’t expecting it, is all. But, uh …”
“You don’t have to decide right now. Will you think about it, though?” Her huge, pleading eyes and tight hold on my hand wrenched at my heart.
“Hey, will you relax?” I squeezed her tight shoulder. “This is you and me, Kate, you don’t ever need to be nervous with me.”
“I know.” Her shoulders dropped. “It’s just … I don’t want you to say yes just because it would make me happy because this is a big thing and I get that. And she’s had it rough. She’s been traumatized and still has a lot to work through. But I don’t want you to say no, because … I love her. I want to be her mom so bad, Ryke.”
My throat tightened from her emotional tone. I’d started to wonder if Kate had closed her maternal side down to protect herself from getting hurt again and it felt so fucking good to see it was still there. But protecting her from hurt was still on my mind.
“Would there be any chance of her parents coming back on us and trying to get her back later?”
“No, they’re dead,” she said, shaking her head. “It was a murder-suicide. She was there when it happened.”
“Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with people? Who does that with their own kid there?”
“It’s awful. She was neglected before that, too. So it’s not like adopting a baby would’ve been. It might not be an easy road, but Ryke, I want her so much. I started thinking about it early on in our sessions together. And then when I saw you with her today—”
Her voice caught in her throat and she stopped, taking a deep breath. When she blinked, tears spilled onto her cheeks and she reached up to wipe them away with her fingertips.
I got up from my chair and crouched in front of her, wrapping my hands around her waist. “I think we should do it. We want a family, and she needs one. It’s kinda meant to be, don’t you think?”
Her face twisted with emotion and she started crying harder. “Really? Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” I’d barely gotten the word out before she threw her arms around my neck.