Captive(46)
“What should we do first?” I asked, leading the way to the door.
“Can we get a Barbie, please?”
“Absolutely. There’s a huge toy store downtown we’ll go to. I still remember the first time my mom took me there.”
“Is your mom still alive?” Melody asked the question casually, and my heart twisted for her.
“Yes, she is. I’m very lucky.”
“Is she nice?”
“She’s very nice. My dad left when I was about your age, so it was just me and her then.”
I unlocked my car and helped Melody buckle her seatbelt in the backseat.
“Do you have brothers and sisters?” she asked.
“No.”
“But you have a husband, right? I saw his picture on your desk.”
“That’s right. His name is Ryke.”
“You look like a princess in that picture.”
“Thank you,” I said, closing the door and getting in the driver’s seat before I continued our conversation. “We can get you a princess dress today if you want.”
“Really?” Melody met my eyes when I glanced at her in my mirror. “Do you have kids?”
Her question made my stomach flip. I was hoping Melody would open up to me, and I had a sudden urge to do the same with her. “I don’t have kids, but I’m pregnant.”
A sharp, excited exhale from the back seat made me look up to check on her. “You’re having a baby?”
“Well …” Probably not. But I hated to say that to her. Even ‘maybe’ seemed like a confusing answer. “Yes, I am!”
She squealed with excitement. “Can we get some baby stuff at the toy store?”
“Sure, if you’d like to.”
“I was going to have a baby brother or sister once, but Daddy pushed Mommy and she fell and the baby went away.”
I clenched the steering wheel, disgust and hatred welling inside me. “How did that make you feel, Melody?”
“Sad. But Mommy said it was okay.”
“Did you think it was okay?”
She was silent for a few seconds. “I guess so. Sometimes Daddy just couldn’t help it because he got so mad.”
“Did he ever hurt you?”
“Not really. He threw a glass at Mommy once and it broke and the glass got in my eye and I had to go to the hospital. But he cried and said he was sorry.”
Tears pooled in my eyes as I listened to her. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to hear this from a five-year-old and not just cry for her.
“Do you know how happy it makes me that you’re my friend?” I said, turning to glance at her since we were stopped at a red light. “You’re smart and funny and sweet. I think you might be the greatest kid I’ve ever met.”
She gave me a heart-melting, toothless grin. “You’re gonna be a good Mommy.”
I wished I had the same blind faith in myself that she did. I was pretty sure good mommies didn’t pretend the babies they were carrying didn’t exist.
***
I’d been exchanging texts with Ryke off and on all day. When I got home that evening, I dialed him in hopes of hearing his voice before game time.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Good. I’m about to eat my peanut butter sandwiches. How are you feeling? Are you sick?”
“No, I feel good. Extra tired from all the walking we did today, but it was fun.”
“Was it a kid you met from work that you took shopping?”
“Yeah. Melody. She’s the greatest kid, Ryke. We went to the toy store and then did a horse carriage ride. And then to the hair salon to get our hair and nails done, and to the ice cream parlor you and me always go to. I let her get a banana split for dinner, which wasn’t very responsible of me, but you should’ve seen her face when they brought it out!”
“You sound happy, baby.”
“I am. It was so good to get my mind off things and just think about someone else for the day. And she thanked me at least a dozen times.”
“How old is she?”
“Five.”
“That’s cool that her parents don’t mind letting you spend time with her outside the office.”
“Actually, she’s in foster care. But her foster mother seems pretty okay.”
“What’s the deal with her parents?”
I paused, remembering the confidentiality I was required to maintain. “I wish I could say. She’s been through a lot. I had such a good time with her today.”
“I’m glad. You gonna watch me play?”
I curled up on the couch and flipped to the channel the game would be broadcast on. “Always. Can’t wait. I miss you.”