“Look, I’m sorry—”
He cut me off. “On the phone last night? Wait – the night before that, when you couldn’t come to LA because you had a thing for the Foundation? Was that even the truth?”
I jumped up from the chair and stepped toward him, anger warming me all over. “Of course it was the truth, Ryke! I’ve never lied to you!”
“Bullshit.” He folded his arms across his chest, his darkened eyes boring into mine. “When we got married, I gave everything to you. Not just my money and my body, but everything I am. Every fucking time we win a game, I’m thinking as I skate off the ice that I can’t wait to call you and talk about it. When I’m pissed, you’re the one who cools me down. I share the ups and the downs — I don’t hold out on you.”
“I wasn’t holding out! You can’t understand how shaken up I am over this. It’s my nightmare. I can’t even … I don’t know what to do. I guess I just wait for the inevitable.”
“It’s not inevitable.” Did his flat tone mean he was mellowing? I hoped so.
“My body is flawed. I’ve lost two of two. And the last one …” My voice broke and I turned toward the glass wall of our bedroom to compose myself. “We were going to have a family. I don’t think you realize what having your baby meant to me. You’re right, you’ve given me everything.” I waved a hand around the bedroom of our luxurious Lake Shore Drive apartment. “You’re a famous athlete! You’re on a billboard downtown! Everyone wants a piece of you. Having your baby was the one thing that only I could do for you. I wanted—”
He shook his head and broke in. “Don’t. You’ve always been everything to me. Always. When I told you after we lost the baby that I’d never loved you more, I meant it. I’d love you through anything, if you’d just let me. You said we were going to become a family when we had a baby, but I thought we became one the day we got married.”
My shoulders dropped. I wanted to hear the affectionate tone he saved just for me. I wanted him to wrap his broad, warm body around me and tell me it would all be okay. Maybe holding this news inside myself for two days hadn’t been best.
“Ryke—”
“Look, I need to cool off before we talk.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna go over to Luke’s. Stay here so I don’t worry about you.”
A fear I’d never known before made my heart skip a beat. “But … you’re coming back home, right?”
“Of course I’m coming home. I just don’t want to talk about this when I’m pissed.”
He wouldn’t look at me. God, how I hated it. I always read warmth in his eyes when he looked at me and I wanted to see if it was still there.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice barely audible.
He turned to go and I sank back into the chair, his words replaying in my mind. Had I not given my all to the man who’d risked his heart again after losing his wife in a tragic accident? He made me feel like the most beautiful, special woman in the world. Nothing could feel worse than knowing I’d hurt him. He wasn’t sure of me. I leaned my head back and tried to get lost in the movement of the lake’s waves once again, letting memories of a happier day float through my mind.
***
One year earlier
I drew closer to the edge of the cliff with each step, about to take the biggest jump of my life. But my tears were joyous. Ryke waited for me several yards from the edge, smiling in a black tuxedo with an orange tropical flower pinned on the jacket. The warm Hawaiian breeze toyed lightly with his dark hair. I wanted to run to him; throw my bouquet on the ground and jump into his arms so we’d be married just a few seconds sooner.
But his teammates and our friends and families were watching, so I relished this once in a lifetime moment. I wore the dress of my dreams: a sleeveless white satin gown with pearls embroidered in swirling designs on the billowing skirt and bodice. The pearl tiara that crowned the large curls piled on top of my head completed the fairytale.
My solo walk down the aisle made of a carpet of flower petals ended when Ryke reached for me and took both of my hands in his. He bent down and pressed his forehead to mine.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered softly. “My perfect girl. I’m honored you chose me.”
He came closer, about to brush his lips across mine, when a vocal gasp from the onlookers made us both turn.
“You can’t kiss her now, Ryke!” hissed Dawn, my matron of honor. Ryke sighed slightly and stood tall again, kissing my forehead instead.