How was I to know that my forever was waiting for me here? Or that it would be so hard to grab ahold of it?
As I moved around the kitchen that I’d come to think of as my own personal domain, I realized that it had been days if not longer since I’d given Lance a thought.
That in it-self was enough of a reason to accept Caleb’s proposal of marriage. That he could make me forget the most horrible time of my life was a huge accomplishment.
That I fell asleep in his arms at night without a worry or care in the world, after spending the last four years living in fear of closing my eyes, seemed unreal.
The fact that I was crazy in love with him just made the whole thing all the better. And the sex, if that’s what you could call it, was unlike anything I’d ever known or even imagined was possible.
After the brutish treatment I suffered at the hands of the monster I was once hitched to, it was almost surreal to find someone who touched me like I was the most precious thing in his world.
Since the first time we made love, a day hasn’t gone by that we haven’t been together intimately. Even in the afternoons sometimes, Caleb would sneak away and we’d spend hours in bed lost in each other.
I’m pretty sure that the others were onto us, but they never let on, and instead were even kinder and a tad bit more over protective of me; which drives Caleb up the wall when they hover.
It was all happening so fast too, he barely gives me time to think, but now things were getting serious.
I’d been wearing his ring for a week now and it was still taking some getting used to. I honestly never thought that I would ever wear one of these things again.
Never thought I would trust anyone with my heart, not that I’d trusted that snake. But Caleb was different, what I felt for him came naturally. I could no more not love him than I could hate myself. But there was still that one remaining doubt, what if I wasn’t the right one for him?
It’s strange. I never realized being in love with someone meant you put that person’s happiness before your own. I would rather run away if I thought I would bring him sorrow, than to stay here.
But at night when we were all alone he’d whisper to me, words that filled my heart with gladness and made me believe in happily ever after.
He paints pictures for me of what our life together will be and it seems so real that I could reach out and touch it. But at times like this, when I’ve been alone with my thoughts for too long, those words fade just a little and I remember my reality.
His mom was throwing us a party tonight and I am already full of nerves. Caleb kept telling me not to worry that everything was going to be okay, but it was the first time I’d be out among so many people since I’d ran.
I was sure that no one would even think to look for me here, I was clear across the country after all, and had no ties to this place, but I would still feel exposed.
I wish I could be as sure of the evening’s outcome as Caleb seemed to be though. He was so excited, going so far as to have some lady come out here to fit me for new evening gowns.
In the end he’d been the one to choose the gorgeous red gown I was to wear. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever worn close to my skin. Red satin that clung a little, but not too much, with a sweetheart neckline, and thin straps on the shoulders.
It looked plain enough on the hanger, but once I put it on it took my breath away, Caleb’s too apparently.
It was fun watching him argue with her about needing a shawl or something to cover the back of it while she held her ground because it would spoil the dress.
“What are you thinking about so hard baby? It’s not about tonight is it? Because I already told you that you’re going to be more than fine.”
He came up behind me at the sink and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck, where he’d left another one of those marks of his, just a few short hours ago.
“No, I’m not worried about it, well not much anyway. I just...” I turned around in his arms and hugged him as tight as I could. Being in his arms was the safest place I’ve ever been in my life.
When he holds me the way he is now, I feel like nothing can touch me. Like all the promises he whispers to me while we’re joined together in the still of the night, will come true.
“You just what sugar?” He held my head back and looked into my eyes. “You have me now baby, nothing will ever get by me to harm you. Not to mention the boys will never let anyone near you. So let me see that beautiful smile.”
How could I not smile? If I didn’t he would take it personally I’m sure, since he seems to have made it his mission in life to make me happy twenty-four seven.
“There she is, now let’s go up to our room I have something to show you.” I gave him a sidelong look and a smirk. “Again?”