Caleb's Blessing(31)

“I can’t ever go back Caleb you know that.”

“Do you really think I’d let him hurt you? If you wanted to go back I won’t let him stop you, but I’m asking if you’d ever consider living anywhere else?”

“I guess I can live anywhere where I’ll be happy.”

“Are you happy here?” I held my breath as I awaited her answer.

“You know I am.”

“Fine, that’s fine. You know I’m crazy about you don’t you?” she blushed and scrunched up her shoulders. “And from the way you melt into me whenever I touch you, I know you feel the same.

I’m pretty sure you must be wary of ever giving a man that kind of power over you again, but you have to know by now that I’m nothing like him, I would never, could never hurt you. I’d cut off my arm first.

I want to take care of you Amanda. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms and go to bed each night the same. More than that, I want to stand between you and all comers. I want to protect you and love you for the rest of our days here on this earth.” I reached in my pocket and retrieved the Cartier original that had been made for my great grandmother back in the early twentieth century.

“Oh Caleb it’s, oh my gosh I can’t wear that.” She clapped her hands on her cheeks as her eyes widened.

“Why the fuck not?” What the hell?

“Look at it, it’s huge and it’s perfect and I’m not that girl.” She flew off my lap and ran from the room leaving me stunned for a hot minute. What the hell just happened?

That shit she’d said pissed me the fuck off. I hate that she still thinks of herself in that way; especially after I’d seen the real her.

The carefree, fun loving, young girl, with a big heart and a winning smile. This other person that she thought she was, didn’t exist except at the ends of a monster’s fists. It was high time she learned the difference, high time she learned her worth.

I got up and went after her, cautioning myself to step lightly. Now wasn’t the time for anger. When we look back on this day I want there only to be fond memories.

She was in her old room lying on the bed with her back to the door. I took a deep breath and prayed for patience before I made my approach.

I crawled onto the bed and laid down behind her. Leaning over her, I reached for her hand and slipped the ring on her finger, even as she tried to fight it. “It stays. I don’t know what it means ‘you’re not that girl’ but you’re my girl, that’s enough for me.”

I turned her over onto her back. I didn’t mean to do anything more than reassure her, but the look in her eyes and the way she clung to me when I kissed her told me that we were going to be a while.

“Did you leave the oven on?” I was already reaching under her blouse for one of her ripe breasts that I’ve been dying to touch and taste on my tongue.

“I have it on low for the molasses corn bread.” Her voice was full of nerves but the way she trembled at my touch told me she was almost ready.

“How much time do we have?” I was already lowering my head to her nipple as her breath hitched.

“About an hour.”

“Time enough for this first time I think.” I didn’t give her time to argue or deny me; instead I sucked her nipple hard into my mouth as I forced my leg between hers so she could ride my knee.

I felt the scars before she tensed up on me. “Shh, let me see baby.” I tried to kiss her worries away but I knew the only way to get over this hurdle was to just do it.

She turned her face away on the pillow when I pulled the blouse up and over her head. There was a gunshot wound in her upper shoulder and a few scars over her ribs where it looked like he’d sliced into her.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip to keep the roar of rage hidden. I refused to let him in here; he had no place. Instead I lowered my head and licked her scars lovingly, making my way from one to the other, taking special care with each.

My heart was breaking with each touch of my lips against her flesh, each slight tremble of her limbs, as I moved her body this way and that so I could minister to her.

“Where’s the other one love?” she knew what I meant and said not a word as she lifted the hair from her neck to show me where the bullet had gone through the back of her head. Fucking coward had probably shot her while she was trying to get away, running for her life.

I kissed that one too before moving back to her mouth. I let my hands do the talking as I ran them lovingly, gently over her slight frame. She was even tinier than I thought under her clothes, and that only made what had been done to her all the more harder to take.