She felt herself caving. If nothing else, this might give her closure. "All right. Tomorrow at eleven. At Snooze."
Deacon shook his head. "Not in public. And it has to be tonight."
"Where?"
"At the dojo."
She needed to be in a place where she felt confident and in control. She shook her head. "At my office. I'll meet you there in an hour."
Deacon watched her very carefully. "You'll really be there?"
"You worried I'll stand you up like you did to me?" When he didn't respond, she said, "I'm not a 'paybacks are a bitch' bitch. If you don't know that about me, Deacon, maybe we should just forget this-"
"No." Then Deacon's hands were gently framing her face. "I'm fucking this up. Story of my goddamn life. Just . . . please. Give me a chance."
The cool detachment she expected to see in his eyes wasn't there. She could feel his arms shaking and he didn't try to hide it.
"I'll be there."
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
DEACON drove his motorcycle to Hardwick Designs and parked it in the alley next to the back door. Then he walked around the block-twice-looking for Molly's car.
No sign of it.
You fucked this up, played on loop in his head.
When he stopped at the main office door and didn't see lights on inside, he had a very real fear that Molly hadn't shown up.
Fuck. Was he so far gone with wanting her that he'd drunk himself into a stupor and was dreaming he'd crashed Katie's birthday party so he could talk to Molly?
No. He'd really been there. So had she. He'd watched her for an hour before she'd noticed him.
And he hadn't imagined the flash of pleasure in her eyes at seeing him. It'd been brief, but it'd been there. So he had the foolish hope that all wasn't lost with her.
Still, he held his breath when he pushed on the door. It opened, the bell jangling to announce his arrival.
Molly wasn't waiting for him, but he heard her rustling around in the back.
Probably looking for her Taser.
The sick thing was? He'd let her tase him if it'd start them talking again.
Nervous, he paced in the reception area.
Molly sauntered past him without a word, relocked the front door and reset the alarm.
Although she still wore her party clothes-a low-cut western shirt that showcased her rack and a frilly skirt that hugged her ass-she'd kicked off the pink and army-green camo combat boots.
Seeing her relaxed stance, her feet bare, her hair up in a ponytail, almost had him falling to his knees. This was his Molly.
"I thought we could talk out here. The couch is more comfy than the office chairs."
Deacon doubted he could calmly sit and discuss the total destruction of his life as he'd known it. "I don't even know where to start." He rested his hands on the top of his head and blew out a long breath. "Fuck that. I do know. What'd you tell me to do the first time I fucked up and couldn't remember what to say? I needed to hit the high points?"
"You remember that?"
"I remember everything you ever say to me, babe. So . . . here goes. I'm sorry for bein' an asshole to you at the restaurant. I'm sorry that I embarrassed you in front of Tag. I'm sorry that you felt you had to run from me. I'm sorry that I said bullshit. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry that I had to wait five fucking days before I could talk to you."
"Why did you wait?"
"Besides Amery and Ronin forbidding me from coming here or approaching you at Black Arts? I had to get up the courage. Fee told me about Katie's party and dared me to crash it."
"And you can't resist a challenge."
"I can't resist you. You are the only reason I went. I wanted a chance to make this right."
"Why?"
Because I fucking love you.
"Because I lost everything when Dante died and I ran away." Deacon found the balls to look at her. "I realized I was about to lose everything again, and this time I'm staying put."
"Deacon."
"I'll tell you everything. Even things I've never told anyone."
"Not even Ronin?"
"Not Ronin. Not my dad." Before Molly could ask, Why are you telling me? he said softly, "Some of it is so ugly I didn't want to think about it, let alone tell anyone about it."
She didn't say anything to that-but what could she say?
So he soldiered on. Take a deep breath. You can do this.
"The condensed version is when I was fifteen I was in a car accident that killed my twin brother and also my girlfriend. I was driving. It permanently fucked up my life to the point I left home."
When Molly remained quiet, he knew she was letting that sink in before she spoke. "Is that why you changed your name?"