I look around to make sure my words are sinking in. The only people looking at me are the ones who already know this. James and Jana are staring at their plates.
“You don’t know me from Eve. To you, I’m probably just some chick who’s hanging out in your brother’s house. I get that. I don’t mean to jump right in here and announce I’m one of the family. But what I am going to do is insist that you treat Jeremy with the love and respect he deserves.”
Jana looks up sharply at that and James lifts an eyebrow.
“I know he was using drugs and drinking. I know he made you worry. I know he embarrassed you and himself. I know he’s lost most of his friends. But he was in pain after losing the most important person in his life. Great pain. Terrible, unthinkable pain. Imagine what that might feel like, if you even can. He tried for nine months to just forget her, so the pain wouldn’t be so bad, but he recently realized he couldn’t do that. And he also realized that he doesn’t want to do that, which is really great.”
Now James is looking up at me too. Hope burns bright.
“Laura is a permanent part of our lives… of this house, even. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. She loved Jeremy when she was alive, and I truly believe she loves him still, wherever she is. And she wants him to be happy. She wants him to be the father he should be. She wants him to be who he really is, not this angry, lonely imposter who took over his life for almost a year.”
I shrug, out of lecturing words and energy.
“I’m sorry to act like such a bitch on your family dinner night. I just really care about Jeremy, and I want him to be happy. Hopefully that means you all can be happy too, but if not, oh well. He’s my first priority.” I pull my hand from Jeremy’s grasp and try to smile at him. Instead I wince as tears drip out of my sore eyes.
“Here, here!” Leah says, raising James’s wine glass. “I’ll drink to that.”
James pushes her hand down. “No you won’t, you’re pregnant.” He pushes her apple juice over to her.
“I can have a sip!”
“Not on my watch.” He raises the wine glass at his brother. “Here’s to your recovery. May it go as smoothly as Sarah seems to think it can.”
Robinson raises his glass. “I’m on board. I think this is great. Best thing that could have happened.”
Everyone looks at Jana. She gets redder and redder in the face until I think she’s about to explode.
“Say it, Jana,” I encourage her. “Tell him what’s on your mind.” I look at Jeremy and then at her again.
She looks at her brother as her eyes fill with tears. “You want her back, don’t you? Cassie.”
Jeremy nods, crying too. His words tremble in time with his chin. “Yes, I do. She belongs with me. I’m her father.”
Jana lifts her chin. “What if I don’t want to give her back? What if I think she’s better off with me?”
Robinson puts his hand on hers. “Jana…”
“No! Get off!” She shoves him away and stands, tipping her chair back. He catches it before it falls against the wall. “You’ve probably already talked to him about this, haven’t you?!” She looks at Robinson as though she’s been betrayed.
“Yes, I have. You know it’s the right thing to do, Jana. We talked about this when we went to the hearing.”
She gestures at Jeremy. “But look at him! He’s not ready!”
Robinson follows her gesture with his eyes. “He looks great to me. And he’s clean. I can have him prove it with blood tests if that’ll make you feel better.”
“No!” James says, looking at his sister. “We’re not going to do that.”
Jana looks from one brother to the other, tears streaming down her face. She finally settles her gaze on her oldest brother. “What are you saying, James?”
“I’m saying that Cassie belongs with her father when he’s ready, willing, and able to take over his duties.” He switches his gaze over to Robinson. “I’m going to let Robinson tell us when that time is.”
Jana sobs once, but then she turns to Robinson. “He’s not ready. Tell them. He’s only been clean for a little while!”
Robinson shrugs. “He’s clean enough for the court. He’s got his house back, he’s attending meetings, he’s getting back to work.” He gestures at me. “He has support here at home from someone who obviously cares a lot about him.”