Abby laughs at that and coffee spurts onto the table. She mops it up quickly with a napkin. Abby is incredibly pretty. Her hair is straight and fans over her shoulders in blue-black perfection. She is half-Japanese and half-British, though she moved to the States at age three.
Then Abby stops, holding a dripping napkin over the table. She stares straight ahead, over my shoulder. Curious, I turn around.
And see six-feet-four inches of black leather.
No, that's not accurate. The guy is six-four, and the leather stops at the collar of his jacket. He's wearing the kind of leather pants you wear on a motorcycle, along with a black jacket with heavy silver buckles. He carries his tray in his right hand and a helmet under his left arm.
"How about Sawyer?" Abby asks.
"Sawyer?" I don't know anyone by that name.
"Him." She nods toward the tall, broad-shouldered guy in leather. "That's Sawyer Tremaine."
I can't help but stare. His legs are the longest I've ever seen. His hair is golden blond. His eyes are violet-I can see that even from our table, that's how brilliant they are. Stubble covers his sexy jaw and cheeks, below the well-defined cheekbones.
I thought Trey was gorgeous. This guy cannot be real.
I swallow hard. "You mean, go up to him and ask him to kiss me for money?" I know I'm pure red with embarrassment. "I was thinking hypothetically. Like if there was an app and I could upload my credit card number and have a guy delivered for kissing lessons. I am not going to go up to him and offer payment, Abby."
She keeps her voice low. "You know, I don't think Sawyer would require payment. I've known a few girls who've had one night stands with him. He's supposed to be really, really great in bed."
"He's into one night stands?"
"I guess. The females involved wanted sex without any strings attached."
"How could you do it with him just once?"
Abby giggles and I blush again.
Since it's the beginning of October, and Sawyer is apparently in his sophomore year at Yardley, I assume I must have seen him on campus before. I can't believe I never noticed him. But I guess I didn't, because now that Abby pointed him out to me, I see him everywhere.
For the rest of the week, I run into him at the res cafeteria, in the campus store, in hallways, out on the grassy quads. I even discover he is in two classes with me: first year Statics and first year Calculus, two of the required courses for engineering students. Since he is a sophomore, I assume he's repeating the courses.
One thing I've always been good at is research. Not that I intend to approach Sawyer, but I'm intrigued to find out about him. On Friday afternoon, I'm in the campus coffee shop Beans with Abby and four other girls. I'm the only one in engineering, the others are in arts. I try to casually bring Sawyer up in a conversation.
It works well until Abby says bluntly, "She wants to know about him. Claire is considering a one night stand with him to get a little experience."
"Abby!" I gasp.
No one else at the table looks shocked.
Shanelle, who has long black braids and dark caramel skin, smiles. A dreamy smile. "Sawyer. Yummm."
Two other girls-Stevie and Kylie-join in, adding to the volume of the ‘mmmm'.
Beside me, Jenna, who is a history major with short, honey blond hair, adjusts her glasses. "You guys are crazy. Sawyer is trouble."
"He's sexy," Kylie says. "Soooo sexy."
"I heard he rides in illegal street bike races," Jenna continues. "He does it for the money. I heard he makes tens of thousands of dollars from bets and that's how he pays for school. But it's totally stupid. People get killed. They race on regular roads at over 150 mph."
"That sounds highly irresponsible," I point out.
Abby rolls her eyes. "I don't think that's true. Anyway, you're not looking to raise children with him."
"Street racing is why he won't get seriously involved with a woman. That's what he told me. He doesn't want to draw anyone into his world of danger." Shanelle sighs. "But he's gorgeous. And he really is a good lay. Most one night stands suck. I mean the guy is so fixated on actually getting sex that he expects a lot of wild thrusting will make you feel good. But Sawyer was never like that." She makes another ‘mmm' sound. "I have his number on my cell if you want it, Claire."
I shake my head. But Shanelle texts my phone to send me Sawyer's number, even though I keep protesting that I don't want it.
I won't use it. I don't want to have a one night stand to get experience. I've crushed on Trey since seventh grade and I don't want anyone else.
Shanelle looks me over. She taps her glossy red nails on the table. "If you want Sawyer, I have two words for you." She grins, flashing perfect teeth. "Makeover Intervention. Tonight."
After my makeover, I go to another party off campus with Abby and Shanelle.
This one is not a frat party. It's at a house shared by five guys. Just like at the frat party, the living room is being used as a dance floor. Dozens of people fill the living room and there are even more crammed into the kitchen. There must be a few hundred people here.
"You look stunning," Shanelle assures me.
"Thanks to your makeover skills," I say. Shanelle applied face primer on me-who knew there was such a thing? Eyeliner and mascara have made my eyes stunning. She flat-ironed my normally wild red hair and it hangs halfway down my back, straight and shimmering. I put in daily wear contacts for tonight. Other than the fact that I keep blinking my right eye because it feels scratchy, I look good.
I bite my lip and wince at Shanelle. "I think I look too good. I look like someone I'm not."
"Confidence on the outside leads to confidence on the inside," she says.
I realize its true-I feel like I could leap tall buildings. Outrun freight trains.
Then Shanelle gasps, "Abby, look."
My friends drool over a group of tall guys standing in the living room. It's Yardley's basketball team, where the shortest guy is six-three. At once, the guys grin, wave the girls over, and integrate Shanelle and Abby into their circle.
I hang back.
Because I see him.
Trey.
He has his arm around a slender girl with wavy blonde hair. Then he captures the girl's mouth and they fall into a perfect, sinful, steamy kiss. I am so stunned I smack my Coke can into my teeth.
I never told Abby I couldn't dream of dating Trey in junior high or high school. I was always the rejected geeky outsider. I was made fun of and teased in junior high. When I reached my last year of high school, things got worse. Even though I was quiet and didn't bother anyone, someone developed a hatred of me and attacked me online. It wasn't so bad really. Just mean messages and stupid pictures. But it hurt. And it didn't stop. I got to the point where I wished I just didn't exist.
In reality, I don't think I ever really thought I could learn how to seduce Trey. I don't think I ever really imagined he could be mine. But watching him kissing someone passionately hurts so much.
The girl he's with is gorgeous and he looks like he's … in love.
I walk through the house, again realizing I am at the kind of fun party I used to dream of attending. And I want to leave.
I find the only empty room in the house. In the basement, there's a small laundry room. I go in there, bite my lip, and let a few silly tears of self-pity roll down my cheeks.
"Are you okay?"
I almost jump out of my skin. A guy is standing behind me, in the laundry room. I wipe my cheeks as fast as I can, hoping that he will have no idea I've been crying. "Yeah," I mumble, not trusting my voice.
I turn.
Oh. Wow.
Sawyer Tremaine is standing there. All of him, in this very small room. I can't believe I didn't notice him. Admittedly, he was hidden by the door, and I swung it shut without turning around. He is folding clothing and setting it neatly into a white plastic laundry basket. Jeans cling to his hips and follow his amazingly long legs. He's wearing a white t-shirt. He has a build that is not unlike Hugh Jackman's when the actor plays the character of Wolverine. A beer is standing on the dryer. "Hi, I'm Sawyer." He holds out his hand.
"I know. I mean, I'm Claire." I take his hand and awkwardly shake it.
He studies me with his stunning violet eyes. He has long, black eye lashes despite having blond hair. "Are you sure you're okay? You look like you've been crying."
"No. My eyes just got watery. No idea why. It just happened." I add, floundering, "It's probably my contacts," I add.
He folds a shirt and puts it in the basket.
The significance of that suddenly hits me. "You live here?"
His brow lifts. "I don't usually go to parties and fold other people's clothes."
"I guess not. But why would you even want to do it at your own party?"
"The dryer was finished and I didn't want the stuff to wrinkle."
Logical, that's true.
Sawyer holds out the beer. "I just opened it and haven't drunk any."