They checked into the Comfort Inn and Maggie decided to take a short nap before they headed to the Great Falls Symphony that evening to hear “Hallelujah Holidays,” which would include the city chorus singing parts of Handel’s “Messiah.” Feeling energized for the first time since Sam left her, Jenny couldn’t bear to stay cooped up in the hotel room. She bundled up to take a walk and told Maggie she’d be back later to grab some dinner before the concert.
“Heya, Jen,” started Maggie getting under the covers and turning away from Jenny to start her nap. “I thought of somethin’. Life is about gray areas. Black and white is more comfortable, but gray is more realistic. Visitin’ Sam doesn’t have to mean leadin’ him on. You don’t have to promise anythin’. You could see him and come back. Just visit.” She yawned loudly, pulling the covers up to her neck and snuggling under.
Jenny zipped up her coat and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Maggie, what good would it do? We’d fall for each other harder and then I’d have to leave and we’d be exactly where we were before I visited. Exactly where we are now but worse. In that way, I think it would be leading him on, Maggie. Unless I was prepared to stay.”
She turned to face Jenny. “It’s not leadin’ him on if you’re up-front. ‘I would never move here, but I came here to see you.’ I guess what bothers me is, by not goin’ at all, you’re sayin’ it’s over. And we both know it’s not over. You can let it die, Jenny. It’ll die eventually. But why wouldn’t you give it a chance? A weekend?”
Jenny stared at Maggie for a moment then looked down her feet in thought.
“Can I say one more thing?”
Jenny looked up and nodded.
“I think maybe you’re just scared of leavin’. You say it’s about losin’ the magic. I don’t think that’s all of it. You came home to yer sick mum. And maybe you’re just holdin’ on to yer Da and the boys a wee too tightly, Jen. Maybe you think sayin’ good-bye to them is worse than sayin’ good-bye to Sam. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I think it’s worth a look.”
Maggie flipped back over then and pulled the comforter over her head. Jenny stood frozen in the same spot for a good few minutes before she turned and walked out the door, closing it gingerly behind her.
***
Exiting the front of the hotel onto 10th Avenue, Jenny realized the University of Great Falls was only a short, straight thirty-minute walk down the street. At an unhurried pace, she enjoyed the activity of the small city. What a difference from Gardiner, which only had a handful of shops. Everywhere she turned there was something else to see, much of it new in the three short years since she had attended college here. A new Target, Hastings Entertainment, Riddle’s Jewelry. She looked in the shop windows, most of them decorated merrily for Christmas with fake buffalo snow and cheerful lights.
By virtue of its location, three hours from Glacier National Park and five hours from Yellowstone, Great Falls wasn’t reliant on tourism. This excepted Great Falls from pandering to tourists like many cities in Montana and meant that it had the stores and amenities it needed for its citizens rather than transient visitors. It gave Great Falls a solid, year-round feeling that Gardiner frankly lacked with its heavy reliance on the mostly summer tourist trade. She passed a Starbucks and treated herself to a pumpkin spice latte, then kept walking, her thoughts naturally turning to Sam as they always did lately.
How could she have known that the moment he walked into the Livingston Courthouse would be one of the most important moments of her life? She thought of him, so handsome and slick in the little lobby. She’d been so angry at him and he’d teased her back into a good mood, treating her with such care and kindness when her car skidded off the road, taking her to dinner, staying in Gardiner. She thought of the omelet debacle and how gracious he had been—merry, even, and understanding. She remembered him sitting on the bench at school looking out at the football field, looking so dejected. Jenny smiled. That’s when she knew with certainty he liked her as much as she liked him. It had been a revelation.
The cold wind whipped into her face, and she quickened her pace toward the university. Unbidden, her mind turned to his face when she'd opened her apartment door to him the night of the Stroll. He had looked her up and down hungrily and kissed her a few minutes later. She had wanted him to, but the shivers of pleasure she felt at the time had been new to her in every way, surprising and addictive.
She smiled to herself, thinking of his warm hands laced through hers at the Stroll and his stunned dismay when he realized he had blurted out that he wanted to have children with her someday. She hugged herself as she walked along, remembering his wide eyes as he was backpedaling like crazy. Even visiting Yellowstone with him, despite how the day ended, had been magical, she thought, remembering their easy conversation and the story of how his parents fell in love.