No need for a swollen head, Jen. You look good. Good, and that’s it.
She was holding Casey at the kitchen table when he knocked on the door. Her tummy leapt, and she couldn’t stop the spreading smile on her face. She put Casey back in her playpen and took one last look at her face in the hallway mirror before she answered the door.
He had his hands braced on the doorframe looking down when she opened the door and he looked up slowly, from her little shoes, to her velvet pants, to her soft cream sweater. His eyes lingered on her body and Jenny stood frozen, waiting. She swallowed nervously and bit the inside of her lower lip, waiting for his eyes to meet hers. And then they did.
Surprise on Sam’s face was nothing new to Jenny. She’d even seen admiration before now, but this expression was entirely different. Inexperience notwithstanding, she knew instinctively the first thing she saw was want. Focused. Carnal. Want.
He swallowed, his body tense and almost completely motionless except for his eyes, which lowered again in languid approval from her eyes to her toes. She kept her body still as her heart pounded mercilessly in her chest. His breath exited his lungs until they were empty and the end sound was ragged, labored. As he breathed in deeply, he raised his eyes again and his gaze shifted then, tenderness phasing out want. He searched her face, and she recognized hope dawn in his softening eyes, vulnerable and unguarded. His lips, closed only lightly, yielding, finally turned up in a slight, impish smile, which suddenly made him seem very much himself again—the Sam she recognized.
Watching these feelings play out on his face, Jenny’s smile got wider, and she cocked her head to the side. When he smiled at her, an awesome joy exploded like fireworks in her head. She started laughing softly with satisfaction and pleasure.
I’ve never felt like this before in all my life.
“Hi,” she offered shyly, still smiling and chuckling gently.
“I can’t speak.”
“You just did,” she teased, flicking her own eyes up and down to check him out, too.
Was it effortless for him to look as good as he did?
Casually handsome, he was what Jenny would special order if she wanted her heart to skip a beat and her throat to go dry with wanting. He still had on his jeans from earlier, but he had swapped out his flannel shirt and sweatshirt for the crisp white shirt he had been wearing with his suit yesterday, and he belted his jeans with a black belt. His black coat was long and sleek, and she knew it would be soft if she ran her fingers over the sleeve or along the collar; soft, and maybe warm from his skin. She noticed the pulse in his neck, beating like a beacon.
Warm, for sure.
Her eyes fluttered at the direction of her thoughts and she felt her hand move from her side to reach out and touch him, but quickly redirected it to push her hair behind her ear, wondering if he could see the awareness she felt in her eyes.
Sam cleared his throat, staring at her, watching her face carefully with a quiet intensity. “I’ve never seen anything as pretty as you.”
A flush of heat colored her cheeks, and she looked down, overwhelmed by such flattery. She looked up at Sam, feeling unsure and exposed. “Even in the big city?”
“Nowhere. Never.” He put his hands down from where they had been braced on either side of the door and took a step gingerly toward her. She backed up so he could come in but felt suddenly nervous to be alone in her apartment with him. The attraction between them was like a tight guitar string attached from his heart to hers; it was as though someone had just plucked it, and it hummed and vibrated between them like a current, like something alive. It was too much, too intimate, something irrevocable and life-changing at her heels.
“I have to get my bag. Give me a sec.” She turned and headed for her room, shutting the door quietly behind her and sitting on her bed to collect herself for a moment.
His reaction was everything she had hoped for and from the look on his face, she was sure he was falling for her as hard as she was falling for him. The comfort in knowing her longing for him was mutual wasn’t exactly comfortable. It frightened her, too. This wasn’t a man who lived in Gardiner, to whom she could willingly and safely give her heart. While Sam might be technically available, the differences in their lives also made him unavailable, and if she wanted to protect her heart, she needed to remember that.
Be careful, Jenny. You’re playing with fire here. Be careful of your heart.
She crossed her arms and wished she could talk to her mother. Ask her how she knew she was falling in love with Pappa. How it made her feel and if she was frightened and unsure and excited all at once. She closed her eyes, breathing in, and opened them, breathing out.