By Proxy(24)

It was too cold; she had to go inside. “Casey, let’s go!” The puppy came running back over, and Jenny swooped her up, paws icy from the cold ground.

Once Casey was settled in her warm crate, Jenny changed into her pajamas and washed her face. She scrubbed harder than usual, frustrated by her feelings, unable to create any real order out of them. Her face was red and chafed when she finished so she applied some cream, looking at herself closely in the mirror. Pretty Girl, she heard him in her head and smiled at herself, but her pleasure was fleeting as she reviewed the situation.

Okay, you misjudged him. He’s funny and beautiful and kind. But, Jenny Lindstrom, get your head out of the clouds and be sensible. He’s from a whole different world, and he’s going back to it in two days. That’s the bottom line. So, put him out of your mind, and quit thinking about him with anything but good, old-fashioned hospitality. She nodded curtly at her reflection, humorless and severe.

Walking back through the living room to her bedroom, she found her laptop was still on. She opened it up to power down and looked at the screen, realizing her e-mail draft was still up. She hadn’t pressed send.

She reviewed the message quickly for typos and was about to send when she paused at the bottom. Their names were paired at the end of the e-mail with a simple ampersand, “Jenny & Sam.”

“Jenny and Sam,” she whispered, followed by a small, strangled sound from deep in her throat.

A longing for him, raw and real, bubbled up inside of her.

Oh, no. No, this is no good, she thought, fingers trembling over the mouse. You don’t even know him. You can’t possibly be infatuated with him, Jenny. No. Stop.

She cringed, knowing protestations were useless: she was already in the middle of something she never even saw coming.

I didn’t mean for this to happen.

Clenching her eyes shut in frustration, she hit send, powered down and snapped the laptop closed.

She got into bed and turned off her bedside table lamp, lacing her hands under her head and staring at the shadows on her ceiling. Unbidden, yet inevitably, her mind turned to his face, his eyes of smiling, teasing, handsome brown. She balled her hands into fists, turning to her side and closing her eyes with determination.

He’s not from here, and you’re not from Chicago, so let’s end this fantasy now, Jenny, and get this straight and fixed in your mind:

He’s not for you, Pretty Girl. He’s not for you.





Chapter 5



Jenny slept fitfully for the first time in years.

She finally gave up on sleep entirely, got dressed and took Casey for an early morning walk. The sun wouldn’t be up for another hour or so, not until almost 8:00 a.m. The days were as short in December as they were long in June, when even the southern parts of Montana boasted almost 16 hours of daylight at Midsummer. Today was so close to the winter solstice, there would be only 8 hours of daylight at best and less each following day. She didn’t mind the dark, quiet walk; she relished the time to think about the day before her, to settle her thoughts in the shadows of the early morning.

Sam was just about the first thing on her mind when she woke up, and she wanted to try to make sense of her feelings before he came to pick her up later that morning. She had decided firmly last night before bed that despite her attraction to him, he couldn’t be the man for her. Their lives were too substantially different for her to indulge in any real fantasies about him, and she would treat him with nothing more than the same kindness she would extend to any other human being.

I will think of him as I would old Mr. Thorton at church, or any of Pappa’s friends. His eyes will merely be eyes, not teasing brown under dark lashes. His hands will just be hands, not strong, corded hands that I want to reach out and hold. His lips will only be—

She felt cool resolve melt away into rushing falls of longing and shushed her thoughts with a quick head shake. This isn’t helping. I refuse to give in to this infatuation. There must be another way to shoo you from my mind, Sam Kelley.

Gardiner was starting to come alive as she crossed the bridge and headed back to her apartment. The lights were on at the Prairie Dawn below Jenny’s apartment, and she considered popping in for a latte, but had no sensible reason for such an extravagance when there was perfectly good coffee waiting to be brewed at home. Still, it might be nice to sit with Maggie for a few minutes and get her opinion on things. Maggie owned the bookstore-cum-coffee shop downstairs and occasionally walked or fed Casey when Jenny couldn’t get home from school for her midday walk. She was Jenny’s closest friend in town, only a few years older than Jenny and the ongoing crush of Jenny’s oldest brother, Nils.