Noen elsket meg en gang. Jeg er velsignet. She crossed her arms over her chest, opposite hands touching opposite shoulders, and breathed deeply in and out, taking her time, finding her mother’s face in her mind and focusing on it. She closed her eyes as she inhaled and re-opened them as she exhaled, just as her mother taught her. She whispered the Norwegian words over and over like a mantra or a prayer. Someone loved me once. I am blessed. Someone loved me once. I am blessed.
She felt calmer and more centered as she headed into the kitchen and slipped her stocking feet into thick, rubber snow boots while Casey whined from her pen. She had adopted the Golden Retriever puppy shortly before Thanksgiving and was still amazed by how much having a pet had changed her life. She had to come home from school at lunch to walk her, and days like today when she was out of town meant finding someone else to look in on her. Housebreaking her was proving challenging and at least one of Jenny’s slippers had been ruined by Casey’s razor-sharp baby teeth. But there was nothing quite like coming home to a puppy, whose wiggly body and wet hellos took the edge off of a bad day and just made a good day better.
“Come on, Casey Mae,” she said as she lifted the puppy out of her pen, rubbing their noses together with delight. Puppies’ paws always smelled like Fritos. Jenny loved that.
Casey wriggled and squirmed, trying to lick and gnaw on Jenny’s nose, thrilled to see her but angry to have been left alone so long. Jenny giggled. “Quit it, you! Mamma’s had a rough day, Little Bit!” She pulled Casey’s bright red leash from the hook, and snapped it securely to her dark green collar. She would have to change out the colors after Christmas, but for now, Casey looked like the perfect little Christmas puppy.
Jenny snapped a tiny jacket around Casey’s jiggling body, and then wiggled into her own parka. She didn’t bother zipping it up; it was only 35 degrees, unusually balmy for early-December in Montana.
Jenny and Casey started down the stairs from their apartment above the Prairie Dawn Cafe & Bookstore and out onto Main Street. The sun was low in the sky now and gave an Old West, sepia tint to the small town around her.
Jenny had lived in Gardiner all of her life, like her parents before her, and grandparents and great-grandparents before them. A small town located in the southernmost part of Montana, on the Wyoming border, Gardiner was also the northernmost entrance to Yellowstone National Park, which meant a brisk tourist business year-round, but especially from May to September. Jenny’s father owned and operated a small but highly reputable tour-group business that took small groups into the park for custom-designed excursions depending on the interests of the tourists. Hot springs groups, wild animal-viewing groups, hikers, leaf peepers. They came year-round, and her father’s schedule was always busy.
The town itself offered more amenities than other small Montana towns as a result of its connection with and proximity to Yellowstone. There were several shops offering tackle and bait for fly-fishing on the Yellowstone River, a saddlers shop, camping and outdoor store, bookstore, internet café, and several boutiques and restaurants. There was only one pharmacy in town, but it carried DVDs if you wanted some entertainment. It had just about everything a person could need, she thought defensively.
She saw two men arranging a banner between streetlights on opposite sides of the street, and read the words GARDINER ANNUAL CHRISTMAS STROLL SATURDAY, DECEMBER 2. Tomorrow night! Jenny loved the Christmas Stroll. She had been so distracted with Ingrid’s news and request she had forgotten all about it. She smiled with anticipation, enjoying deep gulps of the clean mountain air.
She passed Joe’s Lodge on her right and waved to her brother Erik, who was working at the bar. Erik was the youngest of her brothers, though still older than Jenny by sixteen months. She briefly considered stopping in to tell Erik about the spinout and get a big hug’s worth of brotherly sympathy, but it would just worry him unnecessarily. Plus, the boys didn’t know about Ingrid’s proxy wedding, and she wasn’t ready to explain. He gestured for her to come in, but she pointed to Casey, shook her head and shrugged. He mouthed “See you on Sunday,” and she nodded and waved, continuing on her way.
Casey pulled her across the Yellowstone River bridge and by the Grizzly Guzzle Grill, where she briefly admired the cheerful blinking lights and Santa scene in the window. Her brother Lars suddenly appeared on the other side of the window, surprising her with a funny face. She shook her head and giggled as Casey pulled her forward with puppy enthusiasm. As they neared the arch Jenny was breathless, telling her to slow down.