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Buy Me, Sir(8)

By:Jade West


"Fine," I tell her. "Later." I smile my fake professional smile. "Terry."

He nods. "Alexander."

I step away before they take up any more of my precious fucking time.



I take the boys for dinner at a tasteless burger joint just off the A3  they've insisted on frequenting every Sunday these past few months. The  coffee is bitter and thoroughly disgusting, and the burgers taste too  cheap to be edible, but the boys love it here.

Terry takes them, apparently.

Good for fucking Terry.

I wrap my godawful excuse for a meal in a napkin when they aren't  looking. Brutus will get considerably more enjoyment from it than I  will.

I wait until the boys have wolfed down their fries and shakes before I pull the tickets from my jacket pocket.

I've been waiting all week for this, for the sweet wash of happiness  I'll feel when their eyes light up in recognition. I have the seats  marked out on a map of the stadium on my phone, a 360 degree view of the  ground so they'll know exactly what we're heading for.         

     



 

I slap the tickets down in front of them with a flourish, and my heart is thumping.

Joy.

It feels quite alien these days.

"I've booked us the very best seats," I tell them. "Right at the front.  We'll see everything, and after the game I've got us backstage passes.  We'll meet the players, get you some photos." I'm smiling, and they're  staring, and I'm waiting for the moment, the moment when their faces  light up.

But it doesn't come.

Their smiles are weak and fucking awkward, and it stabs at me, right in the fucking gut.

"What?" I ask, and there's a brutality to my tone that I didn't intend. I take a breath.

It's Thomas who spits it out. "It's the twenty-second … "

"Yes. Four weeks today."

"But we're … " He looks down at the table. "We're going to the football …   with Terry …  we were going to tell you today …  Terry said to wait, until  he definitely had tickets, said maybe you could come on Saturday  instead, or – "

"Or what?"

He doesn't want to say it, and I feel like an asshole for pushing when I know what's coming.

"Or what, Thomas? What did Terry say?"

It's Matthew that answers, his eyes so big and innocent. "He said maybe  you could miss a week, for the football. He said maybe you wouldn't  mind."

Cunt.

Terry is a fucking cunt.

"I didn't realise you boys liked football. Rugby's your game, no?"

Thomas doesn't answer, but Matthew shakes his head. "We like football  now, Dad. Thomas says football's better. Cooler, isn't it, Thomas?"

Thomas looks fucking mortified.

"Well?" I prompt. "Is football cool now? Cooler than rugby?"

Thomas shrugs. "They're both good. But we support Portsmouth now, like Terry. It's his team. He got us shirts."

I feel the tick at my temples. The sour taste of rejection.

"I see," I say, and pull the tickets back to my side of the table.

"Sorry, Dad," Thomas says, and he is sorry. I wish he wasn't. I wish  he'd look me straight in the eye and admit he thinks rugby fucking  stinks now and he'd much rather eat shitty burgers with Terry than me.

"Sorry, Dad," Matthew says.

I choke down my disappointment. "Some other time, then. When the games don't clash."

They nod. Matthew slurps the remnants of his shake. Thomas folds his napkin into little triangles.

It's really fucking awkward, all of it. This shitty place. This shitty  weekend arrangement. This shitty situation with their cool new dad.

"Are you angry?" Thomas asks, and it makes me smile. Direct. I like that.

"Disappointed," I tell him. "Not angry."

I have no intention of forcing their priorities into an order I approve of, that's not in my make-up.

The boys gather up their burger boxes and put their coats back on, and I  guess we're done here. Allotted time counting down to zero.

"Let's go and give Brutus his burger," I say.



Once the new football thing is out in the open, the boys can't get  enough of it. I hear all about it on the drive back  –  the Portsmouth  team, their cruddy uniform, their goal-scoring history.

I try to care, but all I feel is the unholy rage in my stomach. The  desire to tell Terry exactly what I think of his ill-considered loyalty  test.

And I do tell him, just as soon as I've stepped over their twee little threshold and Claire's sent the boys to their rooms.

"Classy move," I comment, "booking up a football match on my day with the boys."

He acts the innocent, all flustered as he tells me he didn't know I had plans, thought one weekend wouldn't matter.

"Every weekend matters," I assure him.

"I'll give you the money," he blusters, "for the tickets."

Like I want his fucking money.

He's living in the house I pay for, driving the fucking car I pay for,  standing on the fucking carpet my money paid to have fitted, and he has  the fucking audacity to offer me a refund on the day he's stolen from  me.

Cunt!

Claire clears her throat and puts a hand on his arm. She's nervous and it's not about the fucking game.

"We need to talk," she tells me. "Terry and I, we, um, have plans … "

"I can see that." I raise an eyebrow. "I imagine the new addition was planned too."

"The boys wanted a younger brother or sister. Tyler, too."

Tyler. Terry's drop-out teenage son has the perfect name for his flunky personality.         

     



 

"I'm glad they're getting what they want."

"They want us to be a proper family," Claire says, and it pangs. A  proper family. One without me in it. "They're close to Tyler now, and  Thomas, well, he wants to be like his cool older stepbrother, wants to  go to a regular school like he does, so we thought …  next term …  we  thought we'd move the boys into Grange High. It's close, and the results  are good … "

I'm shaking my head before she's even finished, my brows heavy and my jaw gritted.

"The answer's fucking no. The boys stay in Oxton, end of discussion."

Her cheeks flush pink, her veneer slipping away in a heartbeat. "It's  not end of discussion, Alexander. They live with me. It's my call."

"No," I tell her. "It isn't."

She sighs. "They want to be normal kids, Alex. They want to hang out  with regular people, not with the stuck-up little toffs at private  school."

"Fantastic. They can cast aside their future employability for the sake  of fitting in with the regular kids. I'm sure they'll be very happy to  end up working in that shitty burger joint they insist on dragging me  to."

Her eyes are on fire. "Alexander."

I haven't missed that condescending fucking tone. As though she's some  permanently aggrieved little fishwife, and I'm the big bad cunt of an  ex-husband.

Although maybe that bit's true.

"They're not going to state school," I tell her, "and that's the fucking  end of it. If you wish to send your offspring through a second-rate  education system, you be my guest, but my boys are not going to a shitty  fucking state school."

Terry shakes his head, and I shoot him a glare that tells him to keep  his fucking mouth shut. "I've already booked them into Grange High," she  tells me. "They've been on an official induction visit. I've already  cancelled their places at Oxton."

"Then you'll have to un-fucking-cancel them, won't you?"

"No," she says. "I won't."

I smile a horrible smile. "I could take you to court. Enforce my terms. I  could move you into a grotty little terrace somewhere, see how you  really enjoy slumming it with the regular folk."

She laughs. "As if you would."

"Don't try me."

"Don't try me!" she hisses. "Your filthy fucking father can't keep  bailing you out forever, Alexander, one day one of those women are going  to talk. Maybe they'll talk to me, hey? Maybe I'll be able to get them  to testify how much of a dirty fucking pervert you are? Maybe I should  give that asshole journalist a call and let him know I've got a story  for him. I've still got screenshots you know, still got logs of your  seedy fucking browsing history."

"Which will mean fuck all in a custody battle," I sneer.

"Not to your father it won't. Not when he realises his company name is being dragged through the tabloids."

I take a step forward, and Terry's arm is around her shoulders again, his face white as a pissing sheet.

"Don't push me, Claire."

She knows I'm serious, my eyes digging into hers, my breath shallow and angry, right on the edge of composure.

She says nothing, just stares with a holier-than-thou expression on her face, and I'm done here, I'm done with their shit.

I'm through the front door and halfway back to the Merc by the time she  speaks again, and her voice is a shrill little wail, an attempt at  intimidation that falls pathetically short of the mark.

"They're going to Grange High, Alexander! Whether you like it or not!"