"Do you want a moment?" He gestures to an armchair by the dresser.
I perch myself in the seat with my knees together, cursing myself for how ridiculously wrong this is going.
He looks unimpressed, reaching down into the minibar and pulling out a bottle of mineral water. He fills a tumbler and swaps it for the champagne in my hand.
"Amy, I'm going to ask you a question, and I need you to answer me honestly." He rests on the arm of the chair opposite and his tone is so curt.
Oh shit.
I nod, gulp down some water.
"Do you want to call this off? The door is right there, one chance only." He tips his head to the exit, and I feel myself pale.
"No!" I insist. "No, that's not what I want. Please. I'm just … "
"A virgin who's sold her first time to a stranger, yes."
His words hurt, a wash of indignation at the thought he assumes I'm so cheap. But why wouldn't he?
"That isn't … it … " I say. "I, um … I want this."
He smiles for just a second. "Amy, darling, you don't know what this is, I can assure you."
I'm losing him. I can feel my dreams unravelling and slipping away. And I can't let them. I can't let that happen.
I get to my feet, relieved to find my legs toughen up enough to hold me steady. I pace straight up to him, close enough that the gorgeous scent I know so well hits me in the temples, and I keep my eyes dead on his as I pluck the champagne flute from his fingers and raise it to my mouth.
He nods, ever so slightly.
I'm close enough to see the fine lines around his eyes. The faint shadow of stubble on his jaw. The tiny birthmark on his right cheek.
"I have no hard limits," I say. "I didn't lie."
He stares right through me. "Is that so?"
"Yes. I'll do anything you want."
"Anything I want?" His eyes are cold, and it hurts, but I'm excited. A flicker between my thighs that wants to throw myself on the floor at his feet and beg him to take me. Beg him to do it all, every dirty thing he's ever dreamed of.
"Anything," I whisper.
"Fine," he says. "Then let's do anything I want."
He takes the glass from my fingers and the clutch bag from my shoulder. He places them both on the dresser and takes me by the hand.
My fingers clasp his as he pulls me through to the bathroom and flicks on the light.
It's a harsh contrast to the softness of the bedroom, my eyes blink as I adjust.
His hand pulls from mine and lands on my shoulder, firm as he demands I drop to my knees.
He points to a spot at the side of the toilet, and I shuffle along until he positions himself before me, his hand on my head.
"Anything, Amy, are you sure?"
"Positive," I tell him.
He unbuckles his belt and steps closer, and my heart jumps. He takes out his cock, and it's bigger than I expected, much bigger than I pictured. He's already hard, the head of him swollen dark.
He takes a handful of hair and tips my head back, but my eyes are still on his cock, watching his hand move back and forth.
Transfixed.
I'm transfixed.
I want to touch him so bad but I'm scared. Scared I'll do it wrong.
"Look at me," he says, and I do. I do look at him, staring up into eyes that show no emotion whatsoever, even though my heart is spilling out through mine. "I'm going to piss in your mouth and you're going to swallow every drop, do you understand me?"
My poor heart hammers. "Yes."
I clench my thighs, and even though this isn't what I planned, isn't for a second what I dreamed of, I still want this. I still want him. Still want everything.
"I understand," I say.
"Open your mouth. Nice and wide."
I open my mouth nice and wide. Position myself right under his cock, my tongue out and waiting, my eyes on his, even though I'm so scared I could be sick, even though my nerves are jangling and my clit is going crazy between my legs.
I whimper as he presses the head of his cock to my bottom lip, but I don't pull away, not even for a heartbeat.
I take a breath, and grip his thighs to keep me steady.
"If you spill a single drop I'm going to make you lick it from the floor."
I stick my tongue out further ready to catch the flow.
"Are you ready?"
I nod, just a tiny tip of the head.
"Drink it all down like a good girl."
I keep my eyes on his.
I'm ready. I'm really ready. My fingers squeeze his thighs, my eyes wide open. Do it. Just do it.
"Very good," he says.
He turns away from me and aims the stream for the toilet.
I gawk in shock, watching that stream of piss as it lands innocently in the bowl.
"Did I do something wrong?" My voice is so pathetic.
"Not at all," he says, and shakes himself off. He fastens his trousers and flushes the chain, then lathers his hands in the sink and dries them off. "It infuriates me when people bluff."
"But I wasn't bluffing … " I tell him.
"Yes," he says. "I know."
"Then what?" I begin, but he cuts me off, taking hold of my elbow to lift me to my feet.
"It was a test," he tells me. "You passed."
"I passed?!"
He smiles and it's beautiful. "Yes, Amy. You passed."
I really don't think I should say thanks, so I don't. "Don't you want to … do that?"
He smirks. "Lord, no. What the hell do you take me for?" He steps back into the bedroom. "You haven't even finished your champagne yet." He gestures to the bottle still chilling. "Anyway, piss play isn't really my thing."
"It's not?" I think of all the porn I've seen at his house. All the times I've watched men pee all over women on screen.
"No. It's not."
I follow him out. "So, um … what now?" I ask, and I realise my breath is steadier. My nerves evening out.
"We start over," he tells me. "You can call me Ted."
Chapter Twenty
Alexander
It was a cunty move and I know it, but the girl was a wreck when she walked in through that door, barely able to string a sentence together.
Nerves and fear. An unpleasant combination at the best of times, not least when you're about to give your cherry to some random in a hotel room, I imagine.
As it turns out, Amy has steel behind those big doe eyes.
She's more beautiful in the flesh than she was on Claude's seedy video. She's unsteady on her heels, which indicates she doesn't walk on them often, and she keeps fidgeting with the fabric of her dress, as though she's not sure it fits properly.
It fits perfectly.
The light pink of the fabric highlights every slope and curve of her body. The pale flesh of her cleavage showing nicely, without being slutty.
I take a seat on the edge of the bed and pat the spot at my side for her to join me.
She sits down close, much closer than I expected, and I'm pleased my asshole of an initiation hasn't sent her running. She's far from running.
She looks strangely euphoric, shy but transfixed as she looks at me. Stares at me.
The girl has been staring at me since she came in through the door.
"This is quite a way to spend your first time," I comment.
"I want this … " she begins, but I wave my hand.
"We're past that," I say. "I apologise if I scared you." I make sure my eyes are on hers when I deliver the next statement. "But I'm likely to do it again, and next time won't be a test. My interests are … extreme."
Her eyes are incredible, thick eyelashes that I want to feel flutter against my skin, even though I rarely go in for contact that personal.
"Will they kill me … these interests?" she asks, and the question is serious, delivered so matter of factly that it takes my breath.
"No," I tell her. "Of course not."
She smiles. Her smile is beautiful.
"Then I don't care," she says. "I don't care what you do to me."
She can't be serious, shouldn't be serious, but she is. There's a simple honesty in the way she angles her body towards mine. A calmness in her breath that I feel against my cheek.
I've paid a lot of money for this girl, but honestly, I'd have paid double for the experience I'm having right now.
I've needed this, craved this, someone like her. Someone real.
She feels so real to me.
I can barely believe this is happening.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I ask. "Anything you want me to know? About you, about what you like?"
She shakes her head. "No. Just please don't … hold back … I want it to be good … for you … "
Her words go straight to my cock. The soft tone of her voice brings out the demons, and it's been too long. Too long to keep control.
I should tell her to leave. Send this sweet girl away to a far more fulfilling experience with someone who isn't a filthy cunt.
"Please … " she whispers, as though she can read my mind. "I really want this … "
And I believe her.
I believe her when she leans in so slowly, her eyes open as she dares to guide her lips towards mine.