Burned(23)

His feelings for Vic were shifting into something more intimate. Something that had him wishing he could take a chance at forever. The swelling desire to try for those things was the very thing that drove his need to pull back.

Not even with Vic could he commit to forever.

Especially not with Vic.

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”

“Why? We’ve done things together before.”

“We have.” A logical argument wasn’t coming to him, and he hated because I said so. “Maybe I just want to be selfish with you for a little longer.”

“What?”

He smiled down at her, filled with love more profound than he’d thought himself capable of when he found out in high school he was going to be a dad. “A time is going to come when you won’t want to hang out with me for family night. Until it does, I want to lock away as many memories as possible.”

“But who are you going to do family night with when I’m not with you?”

“I guess it will become friends’ night.”

Sophie dropped her head and shook it. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone, Dad. You should find the right partner who would ease some of the burden you carry. Someone to be there for you when you get off work at night.”

Byron had said the same thing the first night he’d kissed Vic. Byron, who had a habit of playing matchmaker. Byron, who had promised he hadn’t set his sights on him. But with Sophie spouting the same sentiments, Hauk wasn’t so sure.

“Don’t worry about me, Sophie. I’ll be fine.”

“I want you to be happy though.”

Hauk pulled her to a stop across the street from the school. He knelt down to face her more directly. “Do you think I’m unhappy?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She waved off a friend shouting for her. “I just think you could be happier with…”

“With Vic?”

“Why not? You love her.”

“I do, but as a friend. I couldn’t…” Even as he tried to explain it to Sophie, he wasn’t buying it himself. He wasn’t so sure his feelings for Vic weren’t developing into something a little deeper. Something that if he followed their path would put her in danger.

“Do you lock yourself off because of your past?”

“What?” What had she heard? He’d thought for sure only the adults talked about his past losses.

“Every time you fall in love with a woman she dies. Is that why you don’t date? Why you won’t invite Vic over? Are you worried she’ll get hurt?”

Yes. Regardless how mature she was or that she had a knack for understanding complicated situations, Hauk couldn’t be that honest with his daughter. Especially on the sidewalk in town.

“Go to school. We’ll talk tonight.”

“Without Vic around.” Sadness ran through her tone and nearly broke his heart.

“Yes.” Hopefully the space of the day would give him time to find the perfect answers for her.

“Okay.” She kissed his cheek and turned toward school. Two steps away, she turned back. “Daddy, do you think…” She hesitated for a second with her lower lip pinched between her teeth. “Do you think I will have the same problem one day? Do you think anyone I fall in love with will die?”

A wash of tears swamped him. They filled his eyes and built up until his nose and throat burned. He should have known she would wonder that. That she would ask the question and expect a straightforward answer.

“Honey.” Going to her and hugging her, he tried to assure her. “Your life will be whatever you want it to be. And I seriously hope it will be without more losses.”

She nodded once and kissed him again. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, Sophie.”

He swiped a tear away as he watched her head to school. His hope to shield her from the same worries he lived with had vanished with a simple question. That she’d called him Daddy instead of Dad made it worse. She only did that in moments of insecurity or when she was sick.

Heading back to the bar for his truck, needing to go work on the stage, he thought about what he might say to explain his bad luck in relationships. He wasn’t sure he could make her understand without shattering her fairytale ideals of happily ever after.

Deciding to detour for more coffee, Hauk headed toward the local coffee house. He didn’t go often, but a great thing about small towns was that they knew him. As soon as he walked in the door they would pull their biggest to-go cup and fill it with black coffee.

The bell jingled over the door. The barista called out, “Good morning, Hauk. We’ll get your coffee.”