Bucking the Rules(86)

Maybe she could go downstairs. Amanda was on morning shift. She had a niece … or was it a nephew? Oh, hell, who cared? She’d take experience with baby goats at this point.

She started to bend over to pick up the wailing child when it occurred to her, everyone would know whose baby it was. And everyone would be chatting it up about why she had the kid. And then would there be rumors that Trace was her star customer? Or maybe she was running a bordello and daycare. Two-for-one deal.

No. Better not to give people any reason to talk about her, good or bad.

With one last glance at Seth, his little face flushed with temper and confusion, she grabbed the phone and pushed speed dial three.

“Josephine!” her mother trilled in her ear. “Darling, I haven’t heard from you for … sweetheart, what is that awful noise behind you?”

“Hi, Mother.” She breathed a sigh of relief. Her mom had experience with at least one baby. And since she was still alive, that had to prove something positive, right?

“Darling, are you in public transportation? There’s a horrible sound—I can barely hear you. You know how icky public transportation is. Maybe you should call me back after—”

“No!” Jo all but screamed, then made herself take two deep breaths. “No, I’m actually babysitting.” She said the words with a smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

“Oh, honey. Are you so hurting for money? That’s awful. I could see if maybe your stepfather could lend you some cash.”

“Okay, one? He’s not my stepfather.” None of them were. They were simply her mother’s husbands. “And two, it’s not for money. It’s a favor for … a friend.” She bent over and picked Seth up, rocking him side to side on the chair. “Nothing I’m doing is right. He’s not dirty or hungry or anything you would normally think to check for. But he won’t stop crying.”

“Well, sweetie, maybe he just misses his parents. You should give him back now.”

“I didn’t take him out of a store. I have to wait until his father gets back.” God, how had she made it past infancy with terrific parenting tips such as these?

“Then I’m not sure what to tell you. I’m sorry, that noise is too much for me. I’ve got to run. Ciao!”

“’Bye,” Jo muttered to the dead connection, then tossed the phone on the table with a clunk. “Just you and me, little man. I think it’s time we had a come to Jesus talk.”

Seth blinked watery, owlish eyes.

“See, kids and I, we don’t really get along together so well. But I don’t want to admit that to anyone. I mean, I told your dad I don’t do kids, and that’s the truth, too. No offense, really.”

Seth reached for one of her hoops, and she let him, because he was quiet.

“But I like for people to think it’s my choice, you know?” She angled her head down as he tugged, trying to keep the pain to a minimum. “Not that I can’t do it; I just don’t want to. I’m a successful business owner, and manage a team of twenty employees daily, but I can’t manage to keep one fifteen-pound baby in check for two hours? Not doing much for my image, if you know what I mean.”

Seth blinked again, slower this time, as if he were becoming bored with the conversation.

That was fine with her. Bored kids fell asleep, didn’t they? She could talk all night if that’s what kept him quiet and, if not happy, at least not screaming his head off.

“It’s just that, I like your dad. Oh, you can’t tell him any of this last bit, okay?” When Seth didn’t respond, she took that as an affirmative. “I like him a lot. More than I’ve liked any guy I’ve … dated before. And I want him to think I can do this. I don’t even know why, since in theory, I don’t want to be around kids anyway. Uh, no offense.”

His head drooped a little to the left, which she took for none taken.

“I just need to figure out if this is what I really want. Because right now, I’m scared shitless. Don’t repeat that word. And I’m pretty sure this family stuff isn’t for me. I’m not exactly Mother Goose, you know?”

Seth blew a spit bubble. Clearly, they were on the same page.

“So maybe you’re just reminding me why I never really wanted to do the kid thing. Maybe this is the sign to step back and evaluate again.”

Seth blinked.

“In the end, I’m not good for you, either. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m probably lucky I haven’t dropped you yet. And what the hell am I going to teach you? How to open ten bottles in under ten seconds? How to flip vodka bottles? I’m just … not meant for this.”