I shower.
I help Lovina.
I cook the meals.
And wash the clothes.
And the days turn to weeks turn to months.
And then I start sleeping later, longer. Always.
And I start throwing up my breakfast. Coffee makes me nauseous.
And I realize I missed my last three periods.
My pants are too tight.
My breasts ache.
I run my hand over my belly, realizing whatever I shared with Buck was not limited to one afternoon.
I am carrying his child.
I don’t cry into my pillow.
This is better than I planned.
This baby will buy my freedom.
No man is going to want me now.
Tears streak my cheeks, and I’m not scared.
I’m relieved.
“What do you mean?” my uncle asks. “How is it possible?”
The auction is set to happen in two days.
I knew I needed to say something before he offered me to the highest bidder.
“When I ran away I slept with someone.”
My uncle lifts his face in disgust. “You are a dirty little bliad’.”
“No, I’m not,” I tell him, tears on my face. Because even though I think this news will buy my freedom, I can’t be sure he won’t do something horrible. Slap me, beat me, lock me in a cage. I run my hand over my slightly swollen belly. “I never meant to get pregnant, but now I can’t be sold.”
My uncle’s nostrils flare. “We will go the family doctor. Now.”
“Why?” I shake my head. I want him to toss me on the street, to say I’m a waste of space. Let me leave.
“Why? You dare ask me why? Stupid girl,” he growls. “You are mine and you will do as I say.”
He grabs me by the base of my neck, guiding me through a corridor, towards the exit. Outside a car is waiting for us. He isn’t letting me out of his clutches.
“Our family has money, but more than that, we have power. And I won’t let some little peshka like you ruining our family name.”
“You consider me family yet treat me like an animal?” I sob, sitting in the town car as his driver winds through city streets. He just ignores me, won’t even look in my eyes. I feel so trapped, stuck. Like a fucking fool.
We stop at the back entrance of a sketchy building and my uncle glares at me. “You speak a single fucking word without being asked and you’ll regret it. Understood?”
I nod too scared to speak.
In the office, I’m handed a cup to pee in by a silver haired woman. I do as instructed, then hand her back the filled sample. She is as quiet as a mouse. But all women are when they’ve spent years keeping their mouths shut.
After that I’m as good as thrown into a doctor’s office that smells like rotting cabbage, dank and dreary, and my uncle follows. A man with a dark suit and grey skin is pulling on latex gloves.
“This the girl?” he asks in a thick Russian accent. Of course it is a man who is connected. Anyone else would ask for proof of insurance, there would be paperwork to sign. Not to mention, my consent. But not here. I’m just instructed to get on a tissue paper lined table and lie back.
Within moments the doctor’s hands are parting my thighs, prodding me with a vaginal ultrasound, while a monitor displays the images of my deepest parts. He doesn’t seem to think addressing me is necessary. He speaks over me, to my uncle.
“The urine sample confirmed the pregnancy. This machine will tell us how far along she is.”
My uncle grunts at the news and I inhale sharply, as the ultrasound presses hard against my most sensitive space. I am pregnant. And I know exactly how far along I am.#p#分页标题#e#
Buck who touched me softly, who whispered promises he intended to keep. Buck, who touched me like he knew me. Like he wanted to know me forever.
Buck who I left in an effort to protect.
I want to get back to him.
To tell him the news.
I am carrying his child.
“This is not expected,” the doctor says. His words cause me to return to reality.
“Not expected? Is something wrong?” I ask.
My uncle shoots me daggers. “Quiet, woman.”
“It is twins, unmistakable,” the doctor says, pointing to two heartbeats pounding faster than my own.
“Twins?” I eek, blinking at the truth revealed on the monitor.
“She is four and a half months along,” he tells my uncle. “We can’t see the gender yet. She will need to return every two weeks so we can monitor the progress of the fetuses.”
I dress, and in minutes we’re back in the town car, driving back to the mansion.
“You devushka po vyzovu,” my uncle says in disgust.
Tears slip down my face. Twins.
“Do you want me to leave?” I ask. “I can go and you’ll never hear from me again.”