The three brothers chatted about nothing for a few moments before Patterson propelled himself off the pier into the water, still wearing his jeans and T-shirt. He helped Blue back up onto the dock, where he promptly shook off, spraying them and the camera with water.
Seeing him in action, taking care of others, so…vital…was hard, but the worst part was hearing his voice. It was the same voice that sometimes echoed in her head. It hadn’t faded or dulled with time. She hoped it never did but it still made her ache as they put in another, a video from a city league softball game, and then one from a local wedding. She didn’t retreat into her head because in a small way, she was experiencing closure, watching with James and Vincent, and the others, without falling apart. This was an “in her heart” kind of moment.
From time to time she could feel James’s eyes upon her, and his warmth as she leaned against him on the couch made the experience a little easier.
After a couple of other videos, James went outside to put the steaks on the grill and Vincent filled the vacant spot beside her. She noticed Kendry and Jared’s veiled curiosity at their relationship dynamic but neither man said anything about it. James and Vincent could tell them what they wanted them to know.
“Doing okay, doll?” Vincent whispered as he stroked her neck. He turned his captivating green eyes on her and she smiled and kissed the shoulder she leaned against but said nothing else.
A little later they sat around the dining room table, having consumed all the good food the men had cooked on the grill. Kendry and Jared turned out to be the kind of men she could see James and Vincent becoming good friends with and she was happy about that.
After the meal was finished, Leah rose from the table and began clearing dishes. James leaned against the frame of the window overlooking the backyard and the river beyond and said, “Want to walk down to the water?”
“Yeah,” Kendry said after looking at his brother, who also nodded. “We don’t want to take up your whole evening. I figured you’d be kind of tired of us by now.”
James said, “You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”
She was busy filling a sink with hot soapy water when James and Vincent bracketed her and Vincent asked, “You coming, too?”
Shaking her head, she said, “The dishes need doing.”
Vincent turned off the water. “Far as I’m concerned the dishes can sit where they are until morning. You already have them soaking. We’ll handle the rest later. I want you with us.”
Looking from one to the other, she said, “You’re sure?”
James nodded and handed her a dishtowel to dry her hands with.
Because of recent rains, the river was moving fast and the breeze was cool coming off the water. On impulse she sat down next to Kendry as he removed his sneakers and socks.
He grinned at her and settled his weight back on his hands and dunked his feet in the water as the others did the same. “I could stand living someplace like this. The whole area is beautiful.”
Leah pointed at the river and said, “This feeds the Divine Creek which meanders all over the area, including right through town.”
Kendry nodded and then gazed at her for several seconds, until she became a little self-conscious. “James and Vincent tell me that you were the love of Patterson’s life.”
Not knowing what to say, she waited, looking down at her feet submerged in the cold water, hoping the guys would say something. It didn’t seem right to say, “Why, yes, in fact I was the love of his life.” She didn’t know that was a fact, either. He’d been thirty-nine that year and she’d never quizzed him about his love life prior to meeting her. While he’d been alive, they hadn’t ever discussed it, but deep in her heart, she longed to have the possibility confirmed. I could’ve been the love of his life if I hadn’t been such a dumbass.
Sitting on her other side, Vincent said, “It’s okay, Leah. We know you were.” While it was a small gesture, his hand stroking her lower back was reassuring and comforting at the same time.
Finally, she lifted her gaze to Kendry’s chest before making eye contact with him. His blue-gray eyes were seeking but there was kindness in them, too. “I miss him every day. I’ll always regret that I never got to tell him I loved him because I was scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Mostly my own shortcomings but also because of public opinion. I wasted valuable time I can never get back.” She flicked another glance at his chest and saw his surgical scar above the top button of his shirt before looking beyond him to James.