Chapter Five
Leah didn’t enjoy the foreign uneasy feeling in her chest as she set out with no destination in mind. Even knowing that most of the journey would be through the Hill Country, which she normally enjoyed, didn’t help the discomfited feeling. She had no problem driving somewhere on her own, even in a relatively unfamiliar area. But she liked her days ordered, regimented, and planned out. Neat.
Leaving the message for James had intensified that out-of-sorts feeling. She didn’t like leaving things the way she had with him and Vincent. Melancholy had settled in earlier that morning as she’d packed her suitcase. Dad would think she was on the ball when he found out she’d left a day early, but the truth was that she had no idea where she’d wind up at sunset.
Some people might find that to be a fun little adventure, but for her it was unsettling. She liked having navigation, knowing how many miles and how many minutes were between her and her destination. Even now, well outside of Divine, she was still giving herself a pep talk.
“It’s an adventure. Yeah. Yahoo. You’re pathetic, girl. It’s a day trip, not an odyssey.”
She pulled up to a four-way stop sign intersection and looked at the directional signs.
“Time to make a choice, girl.”
She fiddled with the satellite radio on her car, finding a good station. Bruno Mars’s “When I Was Your Man” fit her mood perfectly. There was no one besides her in the intersection but she still felt foolish for sitting there. The directional compass in her car’s information system caught her gaze. The road before her pointed in a Northeastern direction. If she kept the car pointed north for the rest of the trip, and kept off of the major highways as she’d already decided to do, she could meander in the general direction of Abilene and not waste too much gas.
“You’re too practical, girl. Just go.”
She had a full tank and the road before her. She fought the urge to reach for the map in her glove box. First thing in the morning would be soon enough to get navigation directions for the store in Abilene.
As the miles passed, she kept finding herself clutching the steering wheel in a death grip. She’d shake out her tingling hands, give herself another pep talk and then repeat the process fifteen minutes later. She began to wonder if she was just a hopeless case, not cut out for taking chances, even little ones. She liked playing it safe and sticking with what was familiar.
She chuckled at the thought, wondering where last night fit on the “risk-taking adventurer” scale. Spending the whole night hadn’t been her intention but by the time they’d finished, exhaustion, endorphins, and intense satisfaction had rendered her insensible.
Vincent and James had far surpassed any sexy dream they’d ever starred in. But her painful reality had returned in a big way that morning. The lingering nightmare had been intensely vivid and made those first waking moments even more confusing. Next came the inevitable realization that it wasn’t a dream. It’d really happened. No matter how many times she begged Patterson to not go, he still died, and her heart broke all over again. To make matters worse, she’d upset Vincent without meaning to and James had been forced to mediate between them again. But even getting to the bottom of the misunderstanding hadn’t really smoothed the situation over, at least not with Vincent. She’d stood by her guns anyway.
“Okay, so maybe I was also letting him know I’m not a pushover. Shoot me.”
She needed to take this decision seriously. She was a woman of the new millennium, able to support herself and make her own choices without help, thank you very much.
Despite his pushy jerk-facedness, she still smiled when she thought of Vincent and his brother.
“At least they know what they want.”
She pulled over in a tiny town and ate a late lunch at the Sonic Drive-In on their main thoroughfare, watching as big ranch trucks drove through town, hauling livestock and horses. Moms driving minivans full of kids pulled in to the shady drive-in for ice cream or other treats, and working people inhaled their food as quickly as possible and hurried along. Looking down at her sandwich, she realized she was doing the exact same thing. She took a deep, calming breath and tried to slow down.
Colorful flags flapped in the stiff breeze and drew her eyes to an antique mall located across the highway. She hadn’t been antiquing since before her mom had passed away several years before. She missed her mom. They’d always had a good time together, no matter what they did.
Mom had always admonished her to take time to slow down, to not always be so busy or the days would get away from her. She tapped her straw into the crushed ice in her cherry root beer and spied the maraschino cherry. With a smile and a bittersweet burst of nostalgia, she plucked it from the cup by its stem and pulled the cherry free with her teeth. The juicy fruit burst with sweetness and a hint of the soda as she ate it, recalling all the times her mother had allowed her to eat the cherries from her sodas and her sundaes.