"Definitely. Listen, don't self-sabotage yourself. You'd regret it for the rest of your life. This is going to be hard for all of you. Snake is going to need you to keep him grounded and be that bridge. He knows nothing about little girls."
"And I do? I was a teacher, always the aunt, never the mother."
"You're a natural," Kali remarked.
"You're not going to let me win this one are you?"
"No, because you're wrong."
"You make it sound so easy," Es said.
"It's always easier to have clarity when you're outside looking in. This is me giving you tough love. After what you've been through, I'm stunned you're only getting cold feet right now."
"It all happened fast … buying the house, decorating, moving in, and meeting Jocelyn. Now she's coming here for the weekend and I get the feeling he'll tell her who he really is. I don't know how she's going to react."
"Whatever she throws at you, the two of you will be able to handle together. You've gone through a lot and it hasn't been a year. That says a lot about staying power."
"You really think so?"
"Girl, you know I don't waste my breath or energy bullshitting," Kali stated, sounding offended.
Es laughed. "I do know that." She took a deep breath and thought of the things they'd overcome in the past ten months. "Okay, I think I'm feeling a little saner now."
"Good. Is there anything I can do?"
"Keep your phone by you in case I need to nine-one-one you."
"And then I rush over and whisk you away, like you're in the midst of a bad date?"
"Exactly," Es laughed.
A car pulled up in the driveway.
"Crap, they're here. I got to go."
"Relax, it's all going to work out, babe. Call me Sunday and fill me in," Kali said.
They disconnected and she made her way to the front door with her heart in her throat.
As they walked up the driveway, she pasted a smile and opened the door.
"Es!" Jocelyn cried, breaking into a run.
She hit her like a wrecking ball, almost knocking Es off her feet as she wrapped her arms around her waist.
"Hey, Joc," Es said embracing her. She looked at Snake; the tension in his shoulders and around his eyes made her heart ache.
"We have a surprise for you, are you ready to see it?" Es asked.
"For me?"
Es glanced at Snake, trying to pull him into the conversation and out of his head.
"Yeah, little one. We've been working hard on it. Es will lead the way."
She wrapped her arm around the girl's shoulders and led her in the house.
"Welcome to our house. It's not the biggest place, but we love it."
Jocelyn glanced around the living room.
"Do you want the tour first, or to see your surprise."
"Surprise, please."
Es and Snake laughed. "All right, surprise it is." Es steered the girl through the living room and up the stairs. They paused outside of the room and Es moved away from Joc. "Okay, close your eyes."
Joc did as she requested, and she mouthed, ‘You show her,' to Snake. He was adorable when he was around his daughter. The care, consideration, and gentleness he emitted made her fall even deeper in love with him. Es opened the door and stepped back, letting daughter and father have their moment.
"Okay, Joc, you can open your eye now," Snake said.
Joc gasped. "This is beautiful! I-Is it for me?"
"Yeah, babe. This is your room. Go ahead and explore it."
She stepped inside and did a full spin. The joy on her face made all the hard work and searching for just the right items worth it.
"I love it," Jocelyn exclaimed as she hurried to the bed and ran her hand over the turquoise and white bed spread.
"We're glad. We want you to feel comfortable here, Joc. It's as much your home as it is ours," Snake said.
Joc turned to him, confused. "Why?"
This is it.
"I have something to tell you." Snake walked to the bed, and patted the area beside him. "Come and sit with me."
"O-okay," she said, fiddling with the bottom of her T-shirt.
Once she was seated, Snake took a deep breath. "I know your parents told you that you were adopted."
Joc nodded.
"Did they tell you anything about your parents?"
"That they weren't able to take care of me, because they had a lot of problems," Joc whispered.
"Well, the truth is, you were taken away from your parents."
"What?" Joc said, jerking away.
"There was a fire at your home. Your mother died, your father almost died, and everyone assumed you were dead, too."
"I don't understand."
"You were always wanted, Jocelyn. I recently had someone look into the fire and we discovered you were still alive. I was ecstatic. It was like winning the lottery. But it was also the most painful thing I'd been through since losing your mother. I'd lost so many years with you."
"You?"
"Yes, Joc, I'm your father."
She shook her head back and forth.
"Yes," he said, holding one of her small hands in his massive one.
"You always wanted me?" Her voice wavered.
Es took it as her sign to leave the two alone and slowly backed from the room, holding her tears at bay until she made it out into the hall. He needed this time to mourn the loss of what could've been, and forge a new bond with Joc as his daughter.
§
"How's she doing?" Es asked, placing her book on the night stand when Snake walked into their bedroom.
"She's a bundle of emotions. I finally got her to stop crying. She wants to know what'll happen to her. I couldn't lie. I told her eventually she'd come to live with us. She asked if she'd get to see her parents again, and I told her maybe occasionally. I refuse to lie to her. I want to get all the bad out of the way now so we can move on."
"I can understand that," she said.
"Do you think I was wrong?" he asked.
The vulnerability he showed ripped her heart in two.
"There are no right or wrong answers in this situation. It's tough for everyone. You're establishing a foundation with her. You want it to be built on trust. I agree with getting everything out there so you can both heal and move forward. It's a lot for a young child to take in. Don't get discouraged if she pulls away, rebels, or acts out of character. Stay firm with your rules and love, and weather the storm."
"What if she hates me after this? I came in and took her away from a life most people would kill for. What can I give her that the Miles family couldn't, huh?" He bent down and rested his elbows on his thighs. "Maybe I did all of this for the wrong reasons."
Es crawled onto her knees and took his face in her hand. "You are her father. You give her everything they couldn't. They may love Jocelyn in their own way, but it's cold and removed. They demand so much from her." Es shook her head. "No, don't let the money they have blind you from the truth. She'll be happier here with you in the long run. She'll know where she came from, and who she takes after. You won't discourage her creativity because you want her to fit in some mold. I see the two of you together and I know she was meant to be with you, in this house, with the family you've created for her."
"How'd you get so smart?" he asked, sitting up and pulling her into his lap.
"Years of school and interaction with children from all different walks of life. These little people are more resilient than we give them credit for." Wrapping an arm around his neck, she rested her head against his shoulder. "She's half you, Snake, she's strong and resilient. A year out, things will look completely different. I promise." She stroked the nape of his neck, willing him to relax.
"You know I can't do this without you, don't you? You're my center."
She kissed his cheek.
"No, I mean this." He cupped her face. "I want you to be mine forever, Es. Will you marry me?"
Her mouth grew dry. There'd been a lot of changes recently. Maybe this was more about his need for stability.
"I don't want to say yes, if this is asked for the wrong reason."
"What are you talking about, Es? I love the hell out of you."
"Yes, and you also need stability for Jocelyn and security in case you have to battle for custody."
"Fuck all of that. What we had going was headed this way before the other issues were in the picture." His body tensed. "So what, you want me to prove myself?"
"No. I want you to ask me when we haven't had a huge, life altering event happen. Everything between us has been going at hyper speed. I think we need time to settle in with Joc." Coward. She'd just been telling Kali she wasn't sure of her place, and he'd tried to give her one.
"If it wasn't connected, what would your answer be?"
"Yes."
"Next time I ask … "
"We'll both be ready." It was a promise she felt to the depths of her soul.