He walked them to the back, sank onto the couch, and patted his lap. With her pink cheeks, she looked like a maiden waiting to be spoiled.
"Come here, sweet girl." He grasped her hand and tugged her until she complied, straddling his legs. Gripping her hips, he pressed her down onto his hard-on. "See what you do to me? I can't get enough of you."
"You've only had me once," she whispered.
"That's just your body. Your soul has been mine for months. That's why this is so good between us. You know that, right?"
She peered up from beneath a fringe of blonde hair.
"When I claimed you as my old lady, it wasn't a decision I made on a whim. I did it because I'm in this with you for the long haul."
She rested a hand on his chest, over his heart, and smiled bashfully. "Xavier, I feel the same way and it scares the hell out of me."
"Don't be scared. I'm not perfect. I'll screw up, piss you off, and frustrate you to no end at times. That's the way it is between an old lady and her man. But I will never let you down, abandon you, or leave you unprotected. I come with an entire family that's embraced you. While we may be rowdy and unconventional, we're also there for each other." He laughed. "I guess what I'm saying is I pledge myself to you, sweet girl. You deserve flowers, poems, and a number of other things I can't give you."
"You just did," she whispered.
His lips twitched upward. "Are you ready for the commitment that comes along with me? 'Cause I'm past the point of being able to let you go, and this life is an all in or out thing."
"Don't you know by now I'm with you, always? I love you. I never thought I would say those words to another man. Then you came along, and I couldn't maintain all the walls I'd buried myself behind. You showed me how to live again. No, you gave me the courage to thaw out and experience life the way it was meant to be lived. After losing my family the way I did, there will always be a part of me that's terrified by love this deep. There will be times when I retreat, try to push you away, and shut you out. I'm not perfect. I'm broken, but breathing and fighting like hell to keep what we have untarnished by my-"
"Hey, no." He placed a finger on her lip, silencing her. "Neither of us is whole apart. We're a work in progress, and that's okay." Burying his fingers in her mane, he massaged her scalp. Her body melted in to his hips. "I want to love you now, Es. Are you going to let me?" he asked, moving his fingers down to her neck. He worked out the tension, and she whimpered, circling her hips. He could feel her heat through his jeans and her pants. He continued kneading his way down her back and let her set the pace. His dick strained against his pants. She placed her hands on his shoulders and used him to balance as she rocked back and forth against him.
She was beautiful as she took back her power and put herself out there. Life steamrolled her, beat her down, and stole her sense of security. This woman before him was a phoenix risen from the ashes.
"You keep this up, I'm going to come in my pants."
Her eyelids lifted, and her brown eyes smoldered. The wicked smile that graced her lips made him moan.
"Is it wrong that I find that thought appealing?"
Her impish playfulness made his heart sing.
"You challenging me?" he asked.
She tilted her head to the side. "Maybe."
He tightened his hold on her and thrust up. "You want to see who comes first? Or you want to let me inside that tight pussy? I know you're wet, I can smell it from here. Clothes off now, sweet girl." They were a clumsy rush of movement as they stripped down and he put on a condom. She lowered herself onto him and loved him slowly. Sinking down and lifting as she flexed her muscles. He sucked her breast into his mouth, massaging its twin as he worshipped her with his mouth. He bit down on the stiff peak. She cried out and gripped him tighter. So his woman liked a bit of pain with her pleasure. He accompanied his next nibble with a soft slap to her ass.
"Oh yes," she breathed.
Her throaty response made his balls tighten. She dropped down hard, and he thrust up, helping her lift and lower as he continued to devour her breasts. They found a rough rhythm that had her convulsing around him. His balls drew up, and he erupted.
He rested his head in the valley of her breasts as he came down. "Love you sweet girl."
"Love you, too," she murmured.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Estelle
As she finished another load of laundry, Es realized just how bare her apartment felt. She rarely stayed here, and the barren landscape she once used to punish herself saddened her. For too long she'd fed into her guilt; keeping her friends at bay until they gave up, living in this tiny one bedroom with only the basics. It had all been steps to keep her numb to life because she felt it was what she deserved. The road she'd left behind was dark. She could see that now as she entered into the light.
A knock came. Right on time. She opened the door and hugged Jolene tight.
"I am so glad you're here."
"Well, hello to you, too," Jolene said with a laugh.
They stepped inside and Es closed the door. "Talking to you on the phone isn't the same as seeing you all the time."
"I know, Miss third shift working woman." Jole paused, cocking her head to the side. "Oh my God. You slept with him."
Es jumped. "What?"
"It's all over your face! You look so good, happy, and relaxed. Girl, I know a sex glow when I see one. You've been getting dicked down on the regular."
Her face burned like she'd been eating spicy peppers. "Umm."
"Oh, come on. You can't be dating that delicious-looking man and not dish," Jole said, placing her hands on her hips.
"It's so good."
Jole clapped her hands together. "I knew it."
"It's not a technique thing, though he scores a ten in that department, it's an emotional bond. I never thought I would be able to feel this again. I was closed off for so long, it became my normal. He took the time to chip away at my ice barrier, and now it's like molten lava."
"Lava is good," Jole remarked.
"It's intense, which is horrifying, but I wouldn't stop it if I could. This is the most alive I've felt since the tornado decimated my entire life."
"Wow."
"What?"
"You don't do that. At least, you didn't before," Jole said.
"Do what?"
"Talk about the tornado like that. It's always been this massive elephant in the room we only infer to. I was still on the fence about your boyfriend. Now I'm sold."
"Because of sex glow?" Es asked, wrinkling her nose.
"No, you dork. Progress. You've come a long way in the past six months and I know he had a lot to do with it. At the end of the day, all I want if for you to be healthy and happy. I can see you are all of those things. It's a good look."
"Thank you," Es said.
"Of course."
"What's going on in Jole's world?" Es asked as they moved toward the stackable washer and dryer.
"Same. Things are getting better and better with Todd. I have you to thank for that. If I had never opened up and gotten your encouragement, I'd be miserable."
"You know we practice tough love. A real friend tells you what you need to hear whether you want the advice or not." Es opened the dryer door, placed her clothing on top, and began to fold them and pack them away into a bag.
"Is there something you want to tell me about your living arrangements?" Jole asked in a voice laced with sarcasm.
"No. I'm over there most of the time. Between helping him get the home together and working late hours, it's easier to live out of my suitcase there."
"How does tall, dark, and deadly feel about it?" Jole asked.
"He's not that bad. I think if it was up to him I'd never leave. He's never been the one in this relationship who kept things developing slowly. He took his time out of respect for me."
"And where do you stand? Is this a fling, a short term relationship, or what?"
Es swallowed. "It's serious, Jole. I can't see life without him, and that's not a statement I would ever make lightly. He balances me, understands the darkness I've lived through, and chases away the ghosts when I'm getting sucked into my past. He relates. I don't have to explain myself, feel bad, or avoid him when I'm struggling because he gets it. With him I'm never really alone."
Jole's eyes were the size of a quarter. "Jesus Christ, Estelle. You're completely head over heels for this guy, and it sounds like he feels the same way about you. I don't know many bikers, but it seems to me he wouldn't let everyone know you're his girlfriend if he wasn't serious."
"It's called an old lady, and no he wouldn't. It's their version of being married."