“Ah, so I guess the rules of who runs the school still change overnight” He laughs. “Why am I not surprised?”
“I don’t know how all of you put up with it.” I shake my head and crumple an empty burger wrapper in my hand before shooting it into the nearby bag. “I haven’t even been here a full semester and I’m already over it. I can’t imagine growing up like this.”
“I didn’t grow up like this,” he reminds me. “But it wasn’t much better where I’m from in California. Worse maybe, because there were more people with even more money. Imagine ten groups of the Elites all battling it out with each other.”
“What a nightmare!” I gape. “How the hell did you put up with that?”
“Just like I do here.” He motions around to our secluded spot on the edge of the schoolyard. “I keep my head down and stay out of it all as much as I can. I don’t need to rely on the approval of the Elites. My father built his own fortune and has taught me everything I need to know to run it one day. Nothing we do is dependent on the Elites.”
“Which is great, considering they just ran everything into the ground,” I scoff, still surprised that Vivian can show up and be so bold after the scandal her family is facing. “How are you and your father’s software company holding up, by the way? I take it the authorities don’t suspect you two of having anything to do with the sex trafficking rings?”
He shakes his head quietly, seeming disturbed by just how close they came to going down with the rest of the Elites. “We’re free and clear.”
I study Malcolm leaning back in the sun, closing his eyes against its rays. He seems so above all the WJ Prep drama, and I can’t help but wish Emmett could be more like him. Emmett claims to want nothing to do with any of it, but somehow he always finds himself at the center of it all. I guess there’s no escaping it, considering his father was the Elites’ ringleader, a role that has essentially been passed onto him, only now the rest of the Elites are facing time in prison.
“Hey, don’t let Vivian and Lily get to you,” he says suddenly, as I realize we’ve swapped roles. Now he’s studying me as I drift away into my own tangle of thoughts. “Those two are just in rough spots because of everything that’s happened. They’re desperate and grasping at straws. They think you and Emmett are the easiest targets to get a rise out of so they can still feel some sense of control.”
“It’s working,” I confess shamefully. “I know I shouldn’t let them get to me, but that’s why they’re so evil. They know exactly how to push your buttons.” It feels strange to be talking about Lily as if she’s one of them, even though as the day goes on, I’m slowly accepting it as true. “I just can’t believe Lily could turn like that,” I add. “She seemed different. And her family has nothing to do with all this trouble the rest of them are in.”
“Maybe her motivations are different,” he suggests, just as we see a few groups of students huddling around outside for some last-minute fresh air before lunch is over.
Lily and Vivian are hiding out in an alley nestled in the middle of the building. Emmett is conveniently not far away, but he seems to be looking for someone. Hopefully he’s looking for me.
We watch as Emmett’s eyes search through the parking lot and outer campus, before he finally turns and freezes when he sees the two of us sitting together. I expect him to come over, but instead, he awkwardly turns and slowly walks back inside.
“I guess you two are officially a thing now?” Malcolm asks with a strange smile. I almost hear a tinge of jealousy in his voice, and I hate the way it excites me. I can’t tell if I want Malcolm to be jealous because he is so nice and good-looking, or if I just want to get back at Emmett somehow.
“You must think I’m a monster.” I shake my head with an embarrassed smile. “You probably know more than I think you do about how he’s treated me…I’m sure everyone does. And now I’m with him like some sick girl with Stockholm syndrome.”
“I don’t think you’re sick or a monster,” he replies sincerely, with a subtle lean towards me. “People are complicated. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. You seem like a smart girl, so if you’re with Emmett…I’m sure you have a good reason.”
His words burn me deep. A few hours ago, I would have thought I had a million good reasons—with just as many bad ones, too. But now the only things that come to mind to explain Emmett’s and my relationship are uncontrollable urges. Like a car wreck I can’t stop staring at. And I know trying to explain that to anyone else would sound like nothing more than teenage hormones that I just can’t get a grip on.
“What if I don’t have a good reason?” I murmur quietly, half-hoping he won’t hear it. I feel terrible for even saying it out loud, and I wonder if it’s some weird cry for help seeping out.
Our eyes lock for too long as our faces grow serious. I wonder if I wouldn’t be better off going for someone like Malcolm, who manages to stay far away from the Elites’ pull. Even when their software company was threatened by their wrongdoings, the Hendersons only got involved long enough to keep their names clear so they could focus on their work.
Malcolm is just as good-looking as Emmett, only nicer. He’s kind in an effortless way that makes me feel safe…and has ever since the first night he took me to meet with his father. And he seems to like me. At least enough to share his food with me and to look at me the way he is now, as if he’s waiting for any hint or sign that it would be okay for him to make a move.
The only thing that’s missing is the powerful, inescapable, magnetic draw that emanates from Emmett. As much as I want to like Malcolm in my head, because it makes more sense and seems like it would be easier and simpler, my heart and body just don’t feel inflamed in the same way as they do with Emmett. And maybe that’s what makes it a healthier attraction, but it doesn’t make it more appealing.
Any hint of a spark I want to exist between us quickly falls flat. “Forget what I said,” I announce suddenly, as we both let out sharply exhale at the weakened tension between us. “I do have good reasons. Lots of them,” I lie. “It’s just been a hard day. Emmett’s going through a hard time.”
“So then maybe you should be with him,” Malcolm bites back, sounding jealous and accusing as he stands from his seat and swipes the grass and dirt from his pants. He seems mad, but that doesn’t stop him from extending a hand down to help me up.
I put my hand into his in surprise as he hoists me up. But once I am on my feet again, I quickly begin shaking the grass from my own pants and hurrying to gather my things. I don’t want to risk any surprising moments that could happen if we keep looking at each other with my hand in his. I catch a subtle nod of acceptance in the corner of my eye as he begins to gather his things as well.
“Well, it’s about time for our next class,” I say too loudly, bobbing my head while still standing frozen to that spot.
“Guess so,” he says, mocking my body language and tone.
“Okay, then,” I breathe out, as I finally start to walk away, but I can’t stop myself from turning to face him one last time. “Malcolm, you’re a really nice guy.”
“Hey, Ophelia.” He throws his hands up in surrender. “You don’t have to placate me,” he explains with a nervous smile. “I mean, you’re an incredibly attractive and sexy girl…with the brains and personality to match. I can’t say that I wouldn’t be happy if you and Emmett weren’t a thing, but you deserve to make your own mind up about these things. And I’m not lonely or anything…believe me.”
His tone turns cocky at the end of it, which should gross me out. But instead I am filled with a surge of burning desire. His complimentary confession makes my heart swell, and the implication that he has no trouble with girls sounds like a challenge. Like I am passing up on goods in high-demand. I shake my head, hating the way my own thoughts are beginning to sound.
“All of this entanglement with the Elites is fucking with my head, I think,” I confess, blushing over my thoughts in combination with the things I suggested to Emmett earlier. “But you are a nice guy. And you seem like a good friend. Maybe one I need to have around to keep me grounded in all of this.”
“Deal,” he answers, holding out his hand. “Friends to keep each other clear-headed in this nightmarish jungle.”
I shake his hand and practically sprint away as fast as I can, before any more revealing thoughts pop into my head, or worse…out of my mouth. The rest of the day feels off, but in a good way. I appear to be momentarily free from Emmett’s sex-hazed state of mind, and instead find it easier than ever to throw myself into schoolwork as an escape.
For three more blissful periods, I barely think about him, Vivian, Lily, or even Malcolm at all. It’s as if our short little encounter on the edge of the schoolyard, and the edge of the lingering Elites’ drama, allowed me to come up for air and set myself straight again.