After final lights out call that night, I tossed and turned, but knew I wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon. So about an hour later, when I heard Eric’s quiet snores, I threw my sweatshirt on and grabbed my flashlight before slipping out into the mildly chilled night.
At first I didn’t have any idea what I was doing. I knew which cabin Isabelle had been assigned to, but I had no clue how I was going to talk to her in a room full of sleeping girls without getting into deep shit with both our counselors.
I was close to Cabin 4A when I heard sniffling behind the building. “Is somebody out there?” I whispered, turning my flashlight in the direction of the noise.
The light landed on Isabelle where she was curled around herself against a tree. She looked so small and vulnerable that my heart literally hurt. Sitting tall, she shielded her tear-stained face. “I—I’m not feeling good. I didn’t want to wake the others.”
Lowering the light from her face, I rushed to her. “Belle, I’m sorry…” I began. But I didn’t know what else to say.
Her expression fell when she realized it was me. She sunk back into herself, covering her face with both hands. “Go away, Roman!”
Having her turn me away like that hurt more than I’d be willing to admit. Letting my shoulders drop, I said quietly, “I really missed you.”
She didn’t say anything, and her cries became louder. Moving over to her side, I put my arm around her shoulders. I didn’t have any idea what else to do. I was a fourteen-year-old boy. I didn’t know what words to use to make her feel better. I didn’t know how to tell her what she meant to me without it coming out all wrong. I told her I was sorry, and I had meant it. But that wasn’t enough.
She dropped her head against me and eventually stopped crying. We sat like that in silence for what could’ve been minutes or hours. I didn’t care. I only knew I had won my girl back.
That summer there was a minor shift in our relationship. Isabelle became close with Melanie, and I hung out more with the guys. I suppose part of it was because we were going through the raging emotions that came with being teenagers, and we had both changed. Isabelle wasn’t quite as shy as the summer before. There was clearly a wall of tension between her and Brooke after the first night, but I was on vigil watch to keep Brooke from bullying her any further.
There were times when our cabins would do activities together. We’d hang out for a handful of minutes, but it wasn’t like before. We didn't eat meals together, or go on hikes alone. In a way I was relieved, because I worried if we were alone I’d do something stupid like try to kiss her. I didn’t want a summer fling with Isabelle. Regardless, I missed having her all to myself.
A few days before the first of July, I prepared myself for Isabelle’s birthday. With memories of the prior year, I was panicked as hell. In all the hours we spent talking on the phone, I only knew that her parents had died a few years back, and that she was living with an aunt near Fresno. Aside from what classes she took, the kind of music she liked, and the names of a few of her friends, I didn’t know much else about her. I had no idea why the sight of those two roses had triggered a disturbing reaction, why she didn’t celebrate her birthday, or why she had walked into the lake. I was scared that by acknowledging her birthday, I would somehow ruin her day.
So I wrote her a song, hoping to make her understand in my own way how much she meant. I knew how to read notes from music classes and several years of singing off sheet music, but drawing them on paper was lost on me. Not only that, but I was still fairly new to the guitar and felt more comfortable finding my way around notes by ear. I played around with a few different chords and hummed a little tune until I had something put together that I thought Isabelle would like.
On her birthday I kept a watchful eye from afar. She seemed to be doing fine, though I suspected no one else remembered it was her birthday. During swimming block late in the afternoon, I gradually started to pay her attention, splashing her and Melanie until she came after me, trying to pull me under. It was impossible not to notice that she had switched from the usual plain red one-piece swimsuit to a modest bikini bottom with a tie-died triangle top. I too often found myself staring at the roundness of her butt cheeks or the new bumps of her growing tits. That afternoon we laughed together, carrying on the same way we had at the end of the first summer. I loved every fucking second.
When it came time for sound off after dinner, my mouth started to dry out and my palms were slick with sweat. As usual, Isabelle sat across from me on the other side of the fire next to Melanie. I had pushed Brooke away enough over the past few weeks that she no longer tried to sit by me at night, so at least I didn’t have to worry about her trying to ruin my surprise.