It made me tear up, seeing someone who was old enough to be his mother, but barely knew him, wanting nothing more than to comfort that wreck of a man that I called mine. She pulled back, and he wiped the tears from his face with his bandaged hand. She took at his hand and saw the gore on the bandage.
“Let’s go change this.” He nodded. I watched Henry and his surrogate mother go back inside.
Nick put his arm around my shoulders. “You alright, Lainy?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“No. I didn’t dare after he nearly bit off Justin’s head. He busted out of the store and fell to his knees, vomiting. After he finished, I escorted him to the truck. Whatever he saw really fucked with him.”
“Don’t say anything to him about it again. Ever.”
“What did he see?”
I wasn’t sure if I should say anything but, after a few seconds, I decided to. “Promise me you will never ask him about it after I tell you.”
“Of course I won’t.”
“He said there were a lot of women, children, and babies…all shot. Executed. And they were stacked up.”
“Holy shit.”
“It really hit him hard. He cried for so long that I didn’t think he was going to stop. I hope I comforted him some, but I don’t know. He’s a mess.”
“I’m sure. Let’s go inside so you can check on him.”
I walked in the house, and everyone looked at me like I had a rooster perched on my head. I looked toward the bathroom, but I didn’t see Henry or Addie.
“Where are they?”
“Spare room,” Claire whispered. “He’s having one of his Henry-sized meltdowns.”
“Shit.” I ran toward the door and listened. He was crying again. I knocked while swinging open the door.
Henry was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. Addie was rubbing his back. She looked up at me and her face was full of concern. I sat down on my knees in front Henry.
“Lover…please don’t do this to yourself.” He took a sip from the bottle.
“It’s tearing me up.” He took a long pull.
“I know. Believe me, I can see that.”
Another long pull. “It’s my fault.” I worried how much he told Addie. He took another sip. Before I knew it, half the bottle was already gone.
“Henry, you know that’s not true.” He just looked at me, and my heart bled for him. The anguish and sadness went deep. He was so fucked up. I had so much rage directed toward Roger and his motherfucking program. The cruelty of it all was what really made me angry the most. I looked at Addie.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but this man needs some sleep. He said he doesn’t sleep very well.”
“He has a lot of nightmares and night terrors so, to avoid them, he doesn’t sleep.” Another long pull. I grabbed the bottle. “Henry, you have got to stop this drinking.”
“I can’t,” he said, looking at me with lifeless eyes. “It’s the only thing that makes all of this bullshit tolerable! If I drink enough, it makes everything quiet in my head.” He tried to snatch the bottle back, but he was already off-kilter.
“Henry…Henry, look at me!”
“I can’t do this anymore, Elaina. I can’t.”
“Henry, you know that’s not an option. Let Addie change your bandage, and I’ll get you settled into bed. Okay?” He nodded. I got up and walked out of the bedroom. As soon as I shut the door, I began to shake all over. I knew what I had to do.
I went through all of our stuff, grabbing every bottle of booze I could find. I tried to get as many as I could before he saw me. Claire hurried over when she saw what I was doing. There were dozens and dozens of bottles, plus a lot of empties. Oh god, so many empties. I had no idea he was drinking that much. I started to cry when it hit me.
Henry was an alcoholic. I turned and looked at Claire. “He’s an alcoholic… Claire, my Henry is an alcoholic,” I said in a hushed tone as the tears poured from my eyes.
Claire put her hand on my arm. “I know. I saw the signs a while ago, but I didn’t want to say anything much more than I was already implying. People get defensive when you make a statement like that.”
“Oh, my god, Claire. What am I going to do?” My hands shook as they covered my face.
“There is nothing you can do. He has to want to stop.”
“He can’t. He just said he can’t. I don’t know what that means. What does that mean? Does it mean he’s tried to stop, or does it mean he doesn’t want to stop? I don’t know what it means, Claire! I don’t know what it means! What do I do?”