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Broken Dreams(204)

By:Rissa Blakeley




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When they walked in, everyone stopped eating and looked at them. He pulled out a chair for Claire and made her sit down. Addie started to stand up, but Nick motioned her to sit. Claire sat still, quiet and full of shame. He fixed Claire and himself a plate of food, and quietly sat down between her and Henry.

The tension filled the room. The only sounds were metal forks clinking against glass plates and chewing. I pushed my eggs around my plate.

“Addie,” Henry was the first to break the uncomfortable silence, “I was wondering if you had a small picture of your daughter that we can take with us.”

“Henry, I don’t want you to do this.”

“I know, but I’m going with or without your blessing.” Addie sighed as she rose from the table and grabbed a small picture off of the fridge. “Thank you.” Henry laid it next to his plate and studied it for a minute. “She’s beautiful.”

“Thank you. Her name is Rosa. Rosa MacEntyre.”

“I will do my best to bring your Rosa home to you.” Addie nodded. As I saw Henry take the last bite of food on his plate, I dropped my fork. Everyone looked at me.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. Henry stood up and I inhaled. It was impossible to exhale.

“I’m going to go rinse out real quick, then get everything ready that we will need.” He picked up his plate and put it on the counter. He walked out of the kitchen, and I finally exhaled. Nick was watching me as he chewed his food.

“Lainy, eat,” he demanded as he pointed his fork at me. I nodded and continued to pick at my food. Thomas finished and got up. It was happening sooner than I could handle. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Thomas headed out to help Henry pack up.

“Claire, eat,” Nick said in a firmer tone. I looked up at Claire, who was picking at her food. I took a bite of my food before Nick could say anything else to me. Claire took a couple more bites and pushed her plate away. I gave in, then stood up.

“Thank you, Addie.” I picked up my plate and sat it on the counter. I went out to where Henry and Thomas were picking through what they thought would be useful.

Henry held up a long-handled, double-sided axe. He smiled. “Remember this? You nearly took my head off with it a couple of times.” He looked up at me. I was far from smiling. I wasn’t reacting to his attempt at humor. He set the axe down and walked to me. “You alright, love?”

I shook my head. “This may be the last time I get to look at you. I have to soak all of you in.”

I picked up his broken hand and kissed it. I lifted his arm where the tracking device used to be and ran my finger down the jagged, pink line. I slowly moved my hands up his chest, remembering what Kellan did to him. I touched his lip where it split open over and over again. I put my hands on his cheeks. I wanted to soak in every ounce that I could. Every cut, bruise, flaw…everything.

He grabbed my wrists and placed them around his neck. His cool touch made me shiver. He pulled me close. His scent was traveling into my nasal passages, and I was trying to commit it to memory. To me, there was no one else in the room but the two of us.

I closed my eyes, picturing him happy and smiling. I pictured us together, his hands running down my body, making love to me all night long. I pictured us with a family, in a house with a white picket fence. Our children would be beautiful, much like he was. I pictured everything from the past, present, and the moments I wanted to share only with him. It was all I could do. I felt it was all that we would have left.

Henry kissed the top of my head. Then he whispered in my ear, “I love you, Elaina. My life, my everything. You keep me whole, no matter how much I fall apart. Thank you for everything you have given to me.” Pain ran through my heart and tore down through my insides like a dull, rusty knife.

He couldn’t be saying goodbye. Please, don’t be saying goodbye, I begged him silently. My river of tears wet his shirt. I couldn’t look at him again, but he forced my head up.

“If I don’t…”

I shook my head. “No, don’t say it.” My voice cracked.

“Say what?”

“Goodbye. Please don’t say it,” I whispered, my voice full of sorrow. He knew, as well as I did, that this could be the last time we ever saw or touched one another, the last time we could hold each other. Our time together could be up.

I felt like our moment was a ticking time bomb. He put my hand to his heart. I could feel it pounding with love…and fear. He pulled my hand to his lips. His jagged, cool breath ran between my fingers. I could feel his eyes boring through me so I opened my eyes and drowned in their beauty.

“I love you.” Again, I was whispering. He kissed me in such a gentle way that his lips were trembling. Like a butterfly fluttering over my lips. He was willing himself to stay in one piece for me. But, as for me, I was shattering before him.