“I don’t know how to bring her back to me. She wouldn’t even talk to me this morning after Henry barged in, telling me what we were going to do. Then when she came out and decked Henry…and, might I add, that was a killer punch…” I smiled, “I thought she was alright with me. That she accepted my fate, you know?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what’s going on inside of her head. I can’t take any more of this arguing and division, though. I can’t, Nick. I need Henry as my husband, you as my brother, Claire as my best friend, and Thomas…well, as a younger brother. I just want us to be a happy family, being there for one another without all of this bickering.”
“I want to work toward that again. It’s just so difficult with all of these fucking things.” He pointed up, and there was an undead staggering toward us. I sighed. Nick held up his Sig and took the poor savage out. We continued talking, like shooting a former living person was no big deal. I found that a bit odd.
“Do you feel sorry for them?” I asked.
“Them?”
“The undeads. Do you feel sorry for them?”
“For the most part. They didn’t ask for this to happen to them.” I was waiting for it. “Like me.” And there it was.
“I know. It’s killing Henry inside. It really is. I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night by him talking in his sleep. He’s so tortured. He’s apologizing to everyone, calling for his mother, sometimes crying… I can’t imagine living with what he does. He’s a like a nuclear bomb, waiting to go off, a finger hovering over the big red button.”
“I understand, but he officially changed my life.” He grabbed his arm where Henry bit him.
“Does it still hurt?” I touched his arm.
“Sometimes. I try to ignore the pain. I have better things to think about.” The door opened behind us, and Henry stepped out onto the porch.
“Uh, sorry to interrupt. I heard a gunshot. Everything okay?” He saw the undead laying in the middle of the road. “Ah. Addie said breakfast is ready.”
“Thanks, Henry.” I smiled at him. The worry began to rush through me. He shut the door quietly behind him. I looked at Nick, and he saw the flood coming.
“Hey… hey. Listen. He’ll be fine.” I couldn’t speak. My tears were pushing their way through. “Elaina, listen to me. I’ll do everything I can to protect him, as he would me. I don’t want you to lose him. As much as he pisses me off, I know how much you love each other.” He embraced me. “Come on. Let’s eat some breakfast.”
I nodded, still unable to speak. He helped me stand. My knees were weak.
“Lainy…” That was the first time he called me that since we were kids. He guided me to the door. “Take a few deep breaths.” I did. The first breath burned, but I managed to get a few in before I put my hand on the door handle. It took all of my strength to open the door.
I walked in and saw Claire sitting on the couch, staring out the side window. “Go on. Go sit down at the table. I’ll be there in a few.” He gently pushed me off toward the kitchen.
***
Nick sat down next to Claire. She looked down at her interlaced fingers sitting in her lap. He watched the tears drip from her eyes and hit her hands. After several long minutes of silence, Claire whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Saying ‘playing house’… It was like a knife in my heart. I don’t know what I have to do to prove that my heart is with you. I thought you felt the same.”
“I do,” she whispered again.
“Then why say such hurtful things? You’re pushing everyone away. Do you realize that?”
She nodded. “I do now.” Her voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible. Nick grabbed her face with his chilled hands. He forced her to look into his brilliant eyes.
“I cannot walk this earth knowing that you wish us…this,” he gestured between them, “didn’t happen. I live for you and our little one.” He rested his hand on her stomach. “I know this is scary, but I’m here for you. I’ll do my damnedest to stay alive to make this work.” He pulled her chin up. “I refuse to give up on you, or us. I don’t care if there’s a war going on around us. We must walk through the fire together, hand-in-hand. It doesn’t change because of what’s happening right now, in this moment.”
“But it could. At any moment, you could be ripped from my arms. And with a baby… How am I going to do it?”
“We will make it work, okay? Please, Claire, you have got to stop pushing everyone away because of your fears. We have to live in the now, and try to look forward. It may look bleak, but the sun will rise for us again. It has to.” He leaned in and kissed Claire on the cheek. “Come on. You need to eat. You have barely eaten lately.” He took her hand and walked her into the kitchen.