I'm not sure how long we kissed. It felt like weeks. Had to be at least a few hours, because by the time his soft lips released mine I was dizzy and breathless. My head spun, and I knew that my legs would not be capable of holding me up. Which I didn't have to worry about because he continued to hold me, with not even the slightest falter, despite the amount of time he'd been carrying my weight, baby belly squished between us.
I opened and closed my mouth as I tried to figure out what to say. I knew I should protest or something, but my brain was mush. I really just wanted to kiss him again.
Maximus dropped his forehead onto mine. "I'd say sorry, but I'm really not," he said, and as he leaned in closer I knew he was going to kiss me again. And I wanted him to. Badly. But this was not taking it slow. I was already losing myself, and that was not okay.
I pushed at his chest, and he released me, placing me back on the bed.
"Slow, remember? I've already let the weakness of this bond between us crush me. I need to know I'm strong enough to be mother and mate."
Something primal lit up in his gaze then. He liked me using the word mate. "I haven't quite figured out how we're true mates yet. Theories are being bandied about, but nothing concrete."
Right! I had information to share with him.
For the second time that day I explained everything Kristoff said to me. With each revelation Maximus' body and face hardened, he was soon very statue like. As I finished with details on his fake bond with Cardia, he let out an angry snarl and took off. He moved so fast I missed the first step and only caught the tail end. He was already out the door and all I could hear was the whoosh as he stormed away.
Jumping from the bed, I winced at some of the lingering pain in my body. Ignoring it, I waddle-ran as fast as I could, following him. The hallway outside of my room seemed to run the length of this building. There were a bunch of rooms off it, but I didn't bother with any of them. I would have heard Maximus open a door.
He'd gone straight ahead.
It took me no time to make it into a living area. The building was very much in the styling of upmarket warehouse – huge ceilings, all open concept, a couch in one corner and an enormous kitchen with island bench in the other. There was also outdoor-indoor dining, leading out onto a covered patio area.
It was night. I hadn't realized. There was no window in my room, no way to judge time. As I continued along, Jessa popped into view. She must have been in the kitchen. Big surprise.
"What's up?" she said, joining me. "Did you tell him about the true mate bond and Cardia?"
I nodded. "He deserved to know. It was his life as much as mine that got screwed with."
My sister took my hand as we continued hurrying out of the warehouse. I would have loved more time to observe the industrial space. Exposed beams. Rustic wall art. Huge fluffy rugs on cement floors. But all I could see was the huge shadow out on the manicured lawn.
"Give me a second with him," I said, hugging Jessa tightly.
She laid a kiss on my cheek. "You got it, sister! No one will ease his pain like you. Just go with your instincts. You have good ones."
I snorted. "Yeah, maybe. Hard to tell sometimes."
A gentle punch landed on my arm. "The sanctuary was not your fault. True mate bonds are serious stuff. They literally drive supes insane. Had we known there was a chance you were true mates, we would have expected you to act as you did. Even worse, actually. The fact that you managed to stay as strong as you did was pretty incredible. And then all the times after, the way you fought Larky ... I'm proud to call you twin. You have a quiet strength, but that doesn't make it any less valuable."
I don't know why her words resonated so strongly with me. I didn't need her approval; no one should crave the approval of others, but she was my twin and the strongest, most kick-butt female I knew. She was life goals. To have her call me strong, to not see me as weak, kind of made me reassess the negative way I'd always treated myself. Confidence crashed through me and for the first time I started to truly believe I might be a worthy mate for Maximus.
That I might be worthy of the miracle child within me.
Leaving Jessa with one last hug, I stepped out into the humid air. I'd never been to China and was unfamiliar with the thick smoggy scents assailing me. The heavy air had undertones of cherry and something sweet and floral.
The yard was quite large, long and thin, with lots of landscaped areas filled with small hedges and bushy plants. The moonlight washed across the grass and created the most beautiful of pictures. My hand actually twitched for a paintbrush. I wanted to capture the splash of light, the shadows of the world, the perfect alignment of different plant heights scattered about. My mind took a mental picture and I knew it was something I would preserve on canvas another time.
A small stream trickled through the yard. I followed the bubbling brook until I reached Maximus. He was standing beside a koi pond. I couldn't see any fish in it, but the darkness hid much from us. I was at his side, our arms grazing as we both stared down into the twinkly depths of the water.
The moment didn't feel uncomfortable or tense, and despite the fact he was clearly still fighting his vampire temper, I wasn't getting a heavy rage vibe from him.
When he finally turned to me his eyes and face were calm. "I've been saying this far too much to you, but I am so very sorry, Mischa. I don't deserve you."
In that moment I realized how much we'd both been beating ourselves up over something that was really outside of our control. It was time to stop. He was a supe who always looked out for others, the protector, so of course he would be hard on himself in this situation. And something told me I was the only one who could relieve him of his guilt.
"Max, we can't change the past. I wish we could, you have no idea how badly, but I'm ready to move forward. Together. You are no more to blame than me. Both of us have suffered, and I don't think either of us should give Kristoff or Cardia any more of our thoughts or emotions. We let them go now."
I sucked up my courage, and reaching out took his hand. In my life I'd rarely ever initiated physical contact with others; the fear of rejection was strong within me, but it was different with Maximus. It always had been. Which was partly why it had hurt so badly when he'd turned away from me at the sanctuary. The trust had been damaged between us, but maybe not as much as I initially thought.
We stood there hand in hand for many minutes, the moon reflecting off the pond, the stars twinkling above us. Maximus untangled our hands to reach around me and drag me into his side. "This feels right," he said. "Cardia and I … we were never right. The magic was there. The connection was there, but the rest could not be produced. I never wanted to touch her. You … I can't keep my hands off you."
"Kristoff did say the more you bonded with your brothers, the stronger your shifter side would become and the more our mate bond would kick in."
He chuckled. "Hope it doesn't get too strong too fast. I'm trying to figure out how to win you over with my romantic side." His eyes flashed black for a moment. "The vampire though, he wants me to throw you over my shoulder, hide you in a secluded location, and feast on every part of you."
I couldn't suppress the shudder which rocked from the tip of my head right down to my toes. And a few places in between. The newly-formed bond between us had our mutual attraction stronger than it had ever been. My body felt needy in ways I had never known before. Not even the first time with him.
"I've never been able to resist this pull between us," I admitted. "And it's so much … stronger now."
Maximus threw back his head and laughed. "From the start I promised myself we'd be nothing more than friends. It was too complicated. There was too much to lose. And yet I couldn't stop myself. If it hadn't been for the treachery with Cardia, I'd have come back to you again."
In some ways it was nice to know that the hold he had over me, the emotion I'd deemed as a weakness, went both ways. Maybe together we could learn to find a balance.
My legs, especially the one with the burn, were starting to ache. Maximus noticed the way I was shifting from foot to foot. "Time to get you back into bed," he said, sweeping me up into his arms.
I opened my mouth to protest his carrying me again, but decided it wasn't worth wasting my breath. This was just the way with these males. It was how they cared for us.
As he strode back into the house I tilted my head up to see him. "So what's the plan now?" I'd been suppressing the last week, pushing it way down into the cave which held my darkest moments, focusing on the unbelievable fact that Maximus was my true mate.
But the memories were no longer staying suppressed. "We need to hunt Kristoff down before he hurts anyone else. Justice will never be safe either."
Darkness descended across Maximus' golden features. "We will not be doing anything. I'll be hunting that bastard down while you're safely behind Stratford's securities. The healer said the baby was close to being ready. The trauma almost set you off into early labor. You could still have her at any time."
With a sigh I acknowledged his concern. "Okay, I'll agree to that for now. Protecting her is our top priority. But Kristoff must suffer. He must die."