Broken But Breathing (Jinx Tattoos Book 2)(34)
Joc did as she requested, and she mouthed, ‘You show her,’ to Snake. He was adorable when he was around his daughter. The care, consideration, and gentleness he emitted made her fall even deeper in love with him. Es opened the door and stepped back, letting daughter and father have their moment.
“Okay, Joc, you can open your eye now,” Snake said.
Joc gasped. “This is beautiful! I-Is it for me?”
“Yeah, babe. This is your room. Go ahead and explore it.”
She stepped inside and did a full spin. The joy on her face made all the hard work and searching for just the right items worth it.
“I love it,” Jocelyn exclaimed as she hurried to the bed and ran her hand over the turquoise and white bed spread.
“We’re glad. We want you to feel comfortable here, Joc. It’s as much your home as it is ours,” Snake said.
Joc turned to him, confused. “Why?”
This is it.
“I have something to tell you.” Snake walked to the bed, and patted the area beside him. “Come and sit with me.”
“O-okay,” she said, fiddling with the bottom of her T-shirt.
Once she was seated, Snake took a deep breath. “I know your parents told you that you were adopted.”
Joc nodded.
“Did they tell you anything about your parents?”
“That they weren’t able to take care of me, because they had a lot of problems,” Joc whispered.
“Well, the truth is, you were taken away from your parents.”
“What?” Joc said, jerking away.
“There was a fire at your home. Your mother died, your father almost died, and everyone assumed you were dead, too.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You were always wanted, Jocelyn. I recently had someone look into the fire and we discovered you were still alive. I was ecstatic. It was like winning the lottery. But it was also the most painful thing I’d been through since losing your mother. I’d lost so many years with you.”
“You?”
“Yes, Joc, I’m your father.”
She shook her head back and forth.
“Yes,” he said, holding one of her small hands in his massive one.
“You always wanted me?” Her voice wavered.
Es took it as her sign to leave the two alone and slowly backed from the room, holding her tears at bay until she made it out into the hall. He needed this time to mourn the loss of what could’ve been, and forge a new bond with Joc as his daughter.
§
“How’s she doing?” Es asked, placing her book on the night stand when Snake walked into their bedroom.
“She’s a bundle of emotions. I finally got her to stop crying. She wants to know what’ll happen to her. I couldn’t lie. I told her eventually she’d come to live with us. She asked if she’d get to see her parents again, and I told her maybe occasionally. I refuse to lie to her. I want to get all the bad out of the way now so we can move on.”
“I can understand that,” she said.
“Do you think I was wrong?” he asked.
The vulnerability he showed ripped her heart in two.
“There are no right or wrong answers in this situation. It’s tough for everyone. You’re establishing a foundation with her. You want it to be built on trust. I agree with getting everything out there so you can both heal and move forward. It’s a lot for a young child to take in. Don’t get discouraged if she pulls away, rebels, or acts out of character. Stay firm with your rules and love, and weather the storm.”
“What if she hates me after this? I came in and took her away from a life most people would kill for. What can I give her that the Miles family couldn’t, huh?” He bent down and rested his elbows on his thighs. “Maybe I did all of this for the wrong reasons.”
Es crawled onto her knees and took his face in her hand. “You are her father. You give her everything they couldn’t. They may love Jocelyn in their own way, but it’s cold and removed. They demand so much from her.” Es shook her head. “No, don’t let the money they have blind you from the truth. She’ll be happier here with you in the long run. She’ll know where she came from, and who she takes after. You won’t discourage her creativity because you want her to fit in some mold. I see the two of you together and I know she was meant to be with you, in this house, with the family you’ve created for her.”
“How’d you get so smart?” he asked, sitting up and pulling her into his lap.
“Years of school and interaction with children from all different walks of life. These little people are more resilient than we give them credit for.” Wrapping an arm around his neck, she rested her head against his shoulder. “She’s half you, Snake, she’s strong and resilient. A year out, things will look completely different. I promise.” She stroked the nape of his neck, willing him to relax.
“You know I can’t do this without you, don’t you? You’re my center.”
She kissed his cheek.
“No, I mean this.” He cupped her face. “I want you to be mine forever, Es. Will you marry me?”
Her mouth grew dry. There’d been a lot of changes recently. Maybe this was more about his need for stability.
“I don’t want to say yes, if this is asked for the wrong reason.”
“What are you talking about, Es? I love the hell out of you.”
“Yes, and you also need stability for Jocelyn and security in case you have to battle for custody.”
“Fuck all of that. What we had going was headed this way before the other issues were in the picture.” His body tensed. “So what, you want me to prove myself?”
“No. I want you to ask me when we haven’t had a huge, life altering event happen. Everything between us has been going at hyper speed. I think we need time to settle in with Joc.” Coward. She’d just been telling Kali she wasn’t sure of her place, and he’d tried to give her one.
“If it wasn’t connected, what would your answer be?”
“Yes.”
“Next time I ask …”
“We’ll both be ready.” It was a promise she felt to the depths of her soul.
He broke into a smile. “You always make me work for it. I think that’s why I fell so hard, so fast.”
“You like a challenge?” she said playfully.
“I like learning everything there is to know about you,” he replied quietly.
“And I feel the same way about you, my love.”
“I bet we have an hour before she’s awake,” he said.
“Then we shouldn’t waste a second.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Estelle
“I hate to do this, but I have to go out of town for a week, maybe two,” Snake said.
“Wait, you have to what?” She stood up from the couch. “What about work?” she asked, glancing down at her uniform.
“I cleared it with Kali. She has someone to cover your shifts,” Snake answered.
Well isn’t that convenient? “She just got here last night.”
“I know, but this can’t wait. I’ve been shirking my duties as it is over the past three months. I need to get back to it.”
“You were taking care of your family,” Es snapped, irritated.
“That doesn’t stop the Club’s issues from happening,” Snake said.
She shook her head. “Are you listening to yourself?”
“Yes, I am. Making sure things run smoothly keeps us all safe. Things are stirring, and we’re trying to squash it before it turns into anything of note. I need you to stand by me right now and lend me your trust. You and Joc will be fine here by yourself. I know she’s a handful right now, but we knew it’d be like this going in.”
“Yes, but I wasn’t expecting to have to go it alone. You’re her father.”
“And you help take care of her, too. What’s your deal right now?” he asked.
“I don’t want to make this situation worse,” she admitted.
“You’re far better at this than I will ever be, Es.” He cupped her face. “I don’t want you to worry about this. I trust you with her more than anyone else.” He pressed his lips to hers and her knees went weak. “I’ll talk to her before I leave, okay?”
“You have to go now?”
“Yeah, sweet girl.”
She swallowed down her protest. This was part of being an old lady; she’d signed up for this. She would’ve handled it better if it hadn’t come on the back of a three-month period she liked to refer to as hell. Change was never easy. The bi-weekly visits had moved to weekly, and finally to a new living situation. Jocelyn had taken it hard.
She’d left behind all her friends, what she’d known as her family, and a completely different style of life. To say she wasn’t happy would be putting it lightly. Full of sass and anger, Joc tested them at every turn. It was exhausting. Today they’d brought her and the last of her things up from Lexington. The Miles hadn’t made a move against them legally. At least not in a straight-forward manner. But she wouldn’t put it past them to try to catch them doing something wrong. The pressure made her head hurt.
“Go. She should hear it from you,” Es said.
Images of her girl’s night out with Jole went up in flames. She sighed. She needed the break. Playing a maternal role to a child who saw you as the enemy was a sharp-edged knife. It was everything she wanted right in front of her, taunting her. She placed a hand on her rolling stomach and tilted her head. Dear Lord, please let us get through the next couple of weeks in peace.