“Hey, no.” He placed a finger on her lip, silencing her. “Neither of us is whole apart. We’re a work in progress, and that’s okay.” Burying his fingers in her mane, he massaged her scalp. Her body melted in to his hips. “I want to love you now, Es. Are you going to let me?” he asked, moving his fingers down to her neck. He worked out the tension, and she whimpered, circling her hips. He could feel her heat through his jeans and her pants. He continued kneading his way down her back and let her set the pace. His dick strained against his pants. She placed her hands on his shoulders and used him to balance as she rocked back and forth against him.
She was beautiful as she took back her power and put herself out there. Life steamrolled her, beat her down, and stole her sense of security. This woman before him was a phoenix risen from the ashes.
“You keep this up, I’m going to come in my pants.”
Her eyelids lifted, and her brown eyes smoldered. The wicked smile that graced her lips made him moan.
“Is it wrong that I find that thought appealing?”
Her impish playfulness made his heart sing.
“You challenging me?” he asked.
She tilted her head to the side. “Maybe.”
He tightened his hold on her and thrust up. “You want to see who comes first? Or you want to let me inside that tight pussy? I know you’re wet, I can smell it from here. Clothes off now, sweet girl.” They were a clumsy rush of movement as they stripped down and he put on a condom. She lowered herself onto him and loved him slowly. Sinking down and lifting as she flexed her muscles. He sucked her breast into his mouth, massaging its twin as he worshipped her with his mouth. He bit down on the stiff peak. She cried out and gripped him tighter. So his woman liked a bit of pain with her pleasure. He accompanied his next nibble with a soft slap to her ass.
“Oh yes,” she breathed.
Her throaty response made his balls tighten. She dropped down hard, and he thrust up, helping her lift and lower as he continued to devour her breasts. They found a rough rhythm that had her convulsing around him. His balls drew up, and he erupted.
He rested his head in the valley of her breasts as he came down. “Love you sweet girl.”
“Love you, too,” she murmured.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Estelle
As she finished another load of laundry, Es realized just how bare her apartment felt. She rarely stayed here, and the barren landscape she once used to punish herself saddened her. For too long she’d fed into her guilt; keeping her friends at bay until they gave up, living in this tiny one bedroom with only the basics. It had all been steps to keep her numb to life because she felt it was what she deserved. The road she’d left behind was dark. She could see that now as she entered into the light.
A knock came. Right on time. She opened the door and hugged Jolene tight.
“I am so glad you’re here.”
“Well, hello to you, too,” Jolene said with a laugh.
They stepped inside and Es closed the door. “Talking to you on the phone isn’t the same as seeing you all the time.”
“I know, Miss third shift working woman.” Jole paused, cocking her head to the side. “Oh my God. You slept with him.”
Es jumped. “What?”
“It’s all over your face! You look so good, happy, and relaxed. Girl, I know a sex glow when I see one. You’ve been getting dicked down on the regular.”
Her face burned like she’d been eating spicy peppers. “Umm.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t be dating that delicious-looking man and not dish,” Jole said, placing her hands on her hips.
“It’s so good.”
Jole clapped her hands together. “I knew it.”
“It’s not a technique thing, though he scores a ten in that department, it’s an emotional bond. I never thought I would be able to feel this again. I was closed off for so long, it became my normal. He took the time to chip away at my ice barrier, and now it’s like molten lava.”
“Lava is good,” Jole remarked.
“It’s intense, which is horrifying, but I wouldn’t stop it if I could. This is the most alive I’ve felt since the tornado decimated my entire life.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“You don’t do that. At least, you didn’t before,” Jole said.
“Do what?”
“Talk about the tornado like that. It’s always been this massive elephant in the room we only infer to. I was still on the fence about your boyfriend. Now I’m sold.”
“Because of sex glow?” Es asked, wrinkling her nose.
“No, you dork. Progress. You’ve come a long way in the past six months and I know he had a lot to do with it. At the end of the day, all I want if for you to be healthy and happy. I can see you are all of those things. It’s a good look.”
“Thank you,” Es said.
“Of course.”
“What’s going on in Jole’s world?” Es asked as they moved toward the stackable washer and dryer.
“Same. Things are getting better and better with Todd. I have you to thank for that. If I had never opened up and gotten your encouragement, I’d be miserable.”
“You know we practice tough love. A real friend tells you what you need to hear whether you want the advice or not.” Es opened the dryer door, placed her clothing on top, and began to fold them and pack them away into a bag.
“Is there something you want to tell me about your living arrangements?” Jole asked in a voice laced with sarcasm.
“No. I’m over there most of the time. Between helping him get the home together and working late hours, it’s easier to live out of my suitcase there.”
“How does tall, dark, and deadly feel about it?” Jole asked.
“He’s not that bad. I think if it was up to him I’d never leave. He’s never been the one in this relationship who kept things developing slowly. He took his time out of respect for me.”
“And where do you stand? Is this a fling, a short term relationship, or what?”
Es swallowed. “It’s serious, Jole. I can’t see life without him, and that’s not a statement I would ever make lightly. He balances me, understands the darkness I’ve lived through, and chases away the ghosts when I’m getting sucked into my past. He relates. I don’t have to explain myself, feel bad, or avoid him when I’m struggling because he gets it. With him I’m never really alone.”
Jole’s eyes were the size of a quarter. “Jesus Christ, Estelle. You’re completely head over heels for this guy, and it sounds like he feels the same way about you. I don’t know many bikers, but it seems to me he wouldn’t let everyone know you’re his girlfriend if he wasn’t serious.”
“It’s called an old lady, and no he wouldn’t. It’s their version of being married.”
“Would you marry him?” she asked.
“Oh my God. I think I would,” Es said, leaning against the dryer as her knees weakened.
“Damn, when you go, you go hard, don’t you?” Jole said.
“I guess so. What the hell am I going to do?”
“Not freak out, first of all. This is all hypothetical. No one is popping the question anytime soon. It’s always good to know where you stand in a relationship. End game affects the way you respond to things.”
“What if he does though?” Es asked.
“Then you’ll say yes, get you a leather vest for her, marry, ride away into the sunset, and have magma hot sex for the rest of your life.”
“Just like that?” Es said, waving her hand in a fluid gesture.
“Well, you’d have to plan a few things first, but essentially yes. We’re too old to play games and wait to be sure. You’re thirty- eight, you know what you want and don’t.”
“Don’t age me. I’m still thirty-seven.”
“Not for much longer,” Jole replied with glee.
“You’re evil,” Es said, making the sign of the cross and hissing.
“No, I’m past forty, and waiting for your perky breasted ass to catch up.”
“They’re small, not perky, Ms. Double Ds. I’m barley scraping the barrel of B cups.”
“A man doesn’t need more than a handful, and my back would love to be closer to a B. I was a happy C cup and then I breastfed two babies.” Jole cupped her boobs, and Estelle laughed so hard she snorted.
“Holy crap, what would I do without you?”
“Be a lot less amused I suppose,” Jole answered.
“That’s the truth,” Estelle said, and put a hold on the thoughts running through her mind after their talk of marriage.
§
She carefully made her way over the soft grass, eyeing the grey stone makers as she went. Marriage talk had brought around a fresh flood of guilt. What would it say about her love for Everett if she took another last name and made a new family? How could she continue toward the future when she was still clinging to parts of her past? Short answer, she couldn’t. It’s time to put them to rest. They’d been the weight on her shoulder, and her heart for too long. Her husband would never have wanted that. She stopped at the rectangular marking and ran her hands over the words. She’d made an executive decision, gathered what was left of her child, and buried her with her father, so she would never be alone. They shared the headstone. It brought her comfort now.