Broken Bear(13)

Phoenix froze. His mother’s face flashed in his mind. He dropped the pillow on the man’s bed and quickly retreated. No nurse was at the station. Nobody would have ever noticed. As he rushed through the hallways, he burst through the stairwell door instead of taking the elevator. He took two stairs at a time, his heart thundering in his chest. He slammed through the bottom level door and kept his head down while exiting the hospital.

As soon as he was out, he ran hard, ran for the safety of the woods nearby. Phoenix staggered and tripped on a root sticking out of the ground, something he would have been more cautious of in the past. He lost his balance and fell to the ground, catching himself with his hands and buffering the blow of the ground rushing at him.

He rolled to his side out of instinct, and then pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms tight around them. He was alone in the safety of the foliage and woods. Phoenix’s body shook. Everything that had been trapped inside of him came out. He sobbed like a small child that was lost and alone. He was useless. He was broken. He couldn't even finish the job. How could he take another life when he’d already taken one? His mother would never be back. Phoenix curled into the fetal position until he had no tears left to cry.

What was wrong with him? He wanted to make it better for Lily, but that wasn’t the way. Killing the man with his hands, taking his life, that’s not how it was supposed to be. As much as his bear could follow through, his human had a conscience. There was no getting around that. He didn’t want to be responsible for another death, no matter how angry he was. He wasn’t a god. He was merely a man with the ability to shift into a bear. It wasn’t his choice. He didn’t get to decide who lived and who died. Yes, his mother died, but there was nothing he could do to save her. God knows he would have if he could. He tried, he really tried. His body shook again as the pain wracked through his mind, a slowly winding path that gripped him.

Phoenix finally sat up. He clutched his knees to his chest and leaned against a tree. He’d have to tell her he couldn’t do it. He wanted to. He tried, but when push came to shove, he couldn't do it. She’d be disappointed in him, realizing he couldn’t truly protect her. It was merely an illusion. His size meant nothing.





Chapter 18 Lily





She saw a broken man enter her room. He turned himself back in to the hospital, but had one single request. He needed to see Lily before they put him back into the locked ward. With security by his side, they escorted him to her room.

Hunter saw his friend and realized he wasn’t the man he used to be. He saw the pain in his face. Jett nodded and followed them into the room, blocking the door from the inside. Hunter stood beside him, acting as a human door. Nobody would go in or out until Phoenix was finished here.

“Lily,” he whispered. He was so relieved to see her. He always felt better when she was near. “I need to get some help. Hunter and Jett will watch out for you. I won’t be able to see you for a little bit, but as soon as I can, I will be here.” His head dropped, his face slackened, and his shoulders slumped. “I need help, Lily.”

She reached for his hand. “Phoenix, I was so worried about you. I’ll always be here. I’ll wait for you.”

He gave her a small smile. “I have to go now. When you’re released, Hunter and Jett will make sure you’re comfortable in a safe location. He’ll never hurt you again.”

“All I care about is you. Please heal. I need you to be strong, so we can be together.” She smiled. “Phoenix, I love you.” A tear fell to her cheek.

“I love you too, Lily.” He’d never meant those words more than in that moment. He’d never felt love so real, so raw. She saw him at his most vulnerable and still wanted to be a part of his life. It told him so much.

Lily watched Phoenix being escorted from her room. It pained her to know she wouldn’t see him for a while, but she knew they’d end up together.

Jett stepped back out of the room. Hunter sat down. He didn’t think. He was trying to break the moment, help Lily relax. Conversation seemed like a good place to start. “His bear will always remain strong,” he soothed. “His human just needs a little extra time to catch up.”

“His bear?” She arched her eyebrow. She had no idea what he was talking about.

Hunter realized what he said. She didn’t know. Oh boy. He scrambled to recover. “Just his inner strength. It’s an expression among our friends.”

“Oh,” she smiled. “That makes sense. Yeah, you’re some big boys.”

“Running a bodyguard service, it pays to keep big guys around.” He was relieved when he realized she bought his bear explanation. He was finished talking.