Broken(26)

    “More like all of you,” I said, and I knew it was true. “He wants me to kill.”

    But surely he can’t think the Little Doll can kill him, Wolfe said.

    “He thinks I’ll try.”

    But he thinks the doll will fail, Wolfe hissed, and that makes him a fool. Little Doll is stronger than Winter realizes. I felt the burn in my guts, like ground glass was moving inside me, shredding my insides, then I felt it stop as though it had come up against a wall of concrete. Little Doll will show him; she won’t stop. Jotun probably thought the Little Doll would fail by coming at him with all his bodyguards around to save him. She won’t, she’ll remove them one by one until it’s just him and her, and then we’ll show her how to strip the frozen meat from his bones, oh yes, we will—

    There was a cry inside me, a howl of pure emotion whose source I knew. “Shut up, Zack,” I said. “You don’t even have the guts to speak to me, you just keep letting your sad and guilty memories float to the surface of my mind while I sleep.” I grabbed the bed and used it to pull myself up. “I don’t need your advice anymore. I’m not doing this for you, not now.” I pictured them in my head, M-Squad and Winter. The two of them that were dead and the three I had left to go. I lifted my cell phone and stared at the blank screen. “It’s for me, now. I’m doing this all for me.” I looked toward the window, the barest hint of light creeping from behind the curtains, letting me know it was day outside, even though the room remained in shadow. “And I don’t really care what happens after I’m finished.”





12.





    The cold night air was agonizing as I pushed open the heavy glass and metal door with a click and made my way into the residential apartments. The security man rose to greet me with a smile as I came in, the autumn-winter air stuck in my nose. It was below freezing again, not that I cared. I huddled within my coat less for warmth than to conceal what I was carrying beneath it. The first whiff of the building’s heating system was sweet, a new smell for a new building.

    The lobby was all sleek lines and classic styling; it reminded me of a photo I’d seen of a hotel lobby in Vegas. Behind the desk the security guard smiled and I feigned one back as I approached his desk. The sidewalks were empty at this time of night, especially on a weeknight.

    “Cold out there?” he asked, with a knowing smile.

    “It’s cold everywhere,” I replied, letting mine fade as I reached the front of the desk. “Hi. I’m Sienna.” I stuck out my bare hand as though for him to shake it.

    He looked at me curiously for a moment before grasping my outstretched hand and giving it a shake. “Nice to meet you, Sienna. I’m gonna need to see your I.D. to let you through, or else call the apartment you’re going to in order to get their approval to send you up.”

    “Nah,” I said, and held onto his hand. His palm was warm, his dark skin contrasted against my snow-pale hands. “I’m just here to introduce myself. I wouldn’t want you to go waking anybody up.” I gently pumped his hand, as though I’d forgotten I was shaking it.

    He drew his eyes down, and gave me a faint look as though I were crazy. “Well, Miss—”

    “Sienna,” I corrected him.

    “Sienna,” he said, and the first notes of him humoring me crept into his tone, “as nice as you are, if you’re not here to see someone, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to move along.” He tried to pull his hand away but failed as I held it tighter.

    I pretended to think about it as he made another effort to get his hand free of mine and failed. His eyes widened and I knew the first stirrings of pain would be hitting him right about now. “I don’t think so,” I said and eyed his nametag, “Phil. Phil’s a nice name.” I held his hand tight, and he made a serious effort to pull away and failed, his eyes growing large in desperation. They were brown, like Zack’s. “Listen, Phil,” I pulled his arm, and he grunted in surprise as I yanked him forward, over the desk. I heard his knees hit the edge on his side and I knew he’d be feeling it in the morning, “I told you, I don’t want you to wake anyone up. I am here to see someone, someone who doesn’t want to see me, and I just … don’t need any attention. Phil’s eyes were wide, now, and I brought my other hand down to his cheek and stroked it with a sort of reassurance I didn’t feel at all, even as he was squealing. I ignored every sound that came out of him as his eyes fluttered in pain.