The priestess frowned. “And this hurts your pride?”
“Hell, yes, it hurts my pride,” Baird burst out. Then he remembered who he was talking too. “Sorry, your holiness. It’s just…it hurts my heart too. I love her so much, need her so much and she wants nothing to do with me.”
“Are you kind to her? Do you honor and respect her? Worship her body with your own?” the priestess demanded.
“Uh…” Baird squirmed uncomfortably. “As much as she’ll let me. She’s, uh, decided that she doesn’t…doesn’t want me to touch her anymore. At least, no more than necessary.”
“She fears you.” It was a statement, not a question.
Baird nodded. “Yeah, I guess she does. Or fears what she’ll lose by giving in to me.”
“What does she fear to lose?” the priestess asked.
“Her family—especially her sister who she loves very much. And her career. She just finished schooling to become some kind of a medic and she wants to be able to use her training.”
The priestess nodded regally. “That is much to give up for the love of a male she’s never seen except in her dreams.”
“I know it is,” Baird said desperately. “But she’s the only one for me—my one true mate.”
“Then what are you prepared to give up for her?” The green-within-green eyes watched him sharply.
“Anything I have to. But it’s not like I can move down to Earth to be with her. The Council has forbidden cohabitation on the planet’s surface until the Scourge is taken care of.”
“Would you wait for her until the war is over?” She raised an olive green eyebrow inquiringly.
“If I had to. But that could take years! And she’s not bonded to me—how could I trust that another wouldn’t win her heart while I was stuck up here without her?” Baird demanded. “I need her—need to bond her to me but she’s determined not to.”
“You present a thorny dilemma.” The priestess stepped forward. “Kneel, Warrior, and let me look into you.”
Baird shifted uncomfortably. “Is that really necessary?”
“Did you come seeking counsel or not?”
“I suppose so.” He frowned. “But I warn you, priestess, you may not like what you see.”
“What I see is what the Mother of Life shows me.” She made a motion to him. “Kneel and let me look.”
Baird knelt before her, trying to keep his posture relaxed though inside he was dreading what was about to happen. Females of the Kindred race had uncharted psychic ability—yet another reason why most of them chose to serve the Mother of Life rather than take a mate. But allowing a priestess into one’s mind was a very uncomfortable experience. He’d endured it when he was first confirmed as a warrior and again when he and Sylvan had chosen to take part in the Earth trade and it wasn’t something he was eager to repeat. Still, he couldn’t ignore the priestess’s demand and maybe she could help him make some sense of his problems with Olivia. Unclenching his fists, he took a deep breath and tried to open himself.
“Very good.” She stepped closer and placed the fingertips of her right hand lightly against his temple. “Now look at me Warrior. Open yourself and let me see.”
Baird tried to do as she asked. As their eyes locked, he felt a soft fluttering inside his head like a thousand wings beating. Then the sensation changed and there were fingers sliding through the cracks in his mind, prying, invading his brain and sifting through his memories like someone might sift through sand at a beach.
He saw his childhood, growing up first on Rageron and then Twin Moons, the loss of his mother and his close bond with Sylvan. His confirmation as a warrior, witnessing his half brother’s pain and rejection on Tranq Prime and their subsequent decision to join the new trade on Earth. Then…the fateful mission when his scout ship had been captured by the Scourge.
Gods, no, don’t want to think about…
But it was too late. He was plunged into darkness, the sour stench of the Fathership filling his nostrils. “Such an interesting flavor this one has. His pain is so unique.” The voice of the AllFather filled his head, harsh and discordant and once again he felt the agony. Sensors all over me, wires coming out of my skin like some kinda damn machine. Leave me alone—let me go! And then the draining pull of the AllFather’s mind focused solely on his own. The overwhelming despair that threatened to drown him as all his memories were twisted, love turned to hatred, pleasure to pain. The huge lighted screen above his head showing him things that had happened in the past but wrong, distorted. He saw himself shouting at his father, killing his brother, and other things too horrible to think of. No, I never did those things. I love them, I wouldn’t…would never…