“What?” Liv stumbled backward and would have gone head first down the broad, steep steps if Xairn hadn’t caught her.
“Be still, Earth female. The AllFather will not touch you. He means to taste your emotions, nothing more.”
Liv trembled in his grip. For one horrible instant she’d thought he meant to taste her the way Baird had. The thought of that…that thing on the throne with its boney scabrous hands and glowing red eyes between her legs was too much, too horrible. She would rather die than let it touch her so intimately.
Barely managing to stand upright, Liv clutched her torn shirt closed to cover herself. Despite Xairn’s promise that the AllFather wouldn’t touch her, it took everything that was in her not to collapse when he stood, shaking his smoke-like robes loose from the metal throne, and came toward her. If it touches me I’ll go crazy. I know I will—I won’t be able to help it.
But the AllFather didn’t touch her. He—it—as Liv’s mind kept insisting, came within a few feet of her and raised a hand to the level of her face. Then those glowing red eyes closed and the tasting began.
“I’m telling you, you can’t do this, Baird. It’s crazy—a suicide mission.” Sylvan glared at his brother.
“You think I don’t know that?” He nodded at Sylvan. “You gonna strap in or what?”
Sylvan frowned as he slipped into the shuttle and fastened the harness. “I can’t believe you got permission from the Council to do this.”
“Council member Shirafe owed me a life debt—I saved his son during the battle of Brenii—remember?” Baird shrugged. “He told me if I wanted to spend my debt this way I was welcome to do it.”
“But you’re not even bonded,” Sylvan protested as he engaged the shuttle’s engines.
“You think that matters to me?” Baird frowned at him fiercely. “I love her, Sylvan, bonded or not. Wouldn’t you have done the same for Feenah if you’d had to?”
“Of course,” Sylvan said instantly. “Even though she didn’t want what I had to offer I still would have given everything I had to make her safe.”
“Then you know how I feel.” Baird sighed and ran a hand through his hair as the shuttle lifted off. “Don’t you get it, Sylvan? This is what the priestess was talking about. I thought after all that trouble in the unmated males section that the danger was over. Thought the sacrifice I had to make was letting them see me mark my female.”
Sylvan nodded thoughtfully. A public marking like the one Baird had done was considered a humiliation but his brother had taken it in stride despite his bride’s defiant attitude. Not his bride anymore, he reminded himself. They’re not even bonded and still he’s willing to give up everything to save her. “I see,” he said neutrally, piloting the shuttle out of the docking bay.
“But that wasn’t it,” Baird continued as they left the Kindred ship behind. “This is. I can see it now and I’m fine with it. I want it.”
“How can you say that?” Sylvan burst out. “You’re going to your death.”
Baird shrugged, his broad shoulders rolling under the crimson uniform shirt. “I was dead anyway—the minute I saw her leave I felt it. At least this way it won’t take as long.”
“Baird, listen to me,” Sylvan said evenly. “I know how you feel—no one could know it better. But there is life after a failed bonding.”
“Yeah, but what kind of life?” Baird gave him a long, searching look. “I’ve seen you, Brother. Ached for your pain and admired your strength. But I just don’t want to go through that. If I can’t be with Olivia…” He shook his head.
Sylvan knew what he was saying. If I can’t be with Olivia, I don’t want to be at all. Baird would rather die than live in a universe where his love was denied him. It saddened Sylvan but didn’t surprise him. A Kindred male’s attachment to his female often bordered on the extreme and many warriors didn’t survive the loss of their chosen mate. Their father had been a rare exception but Sylvan was sure he had only carried on in order to care for his sons. Otherwise after the death of Sylvan’s own mother he surely would have taken his own life, as many Kindred did after a mate died. That was the real reason the Council had given their approval to Baird’s request—a warrior who lost a mate was already considered dead so in essence, they were incurring no new losses.
“I just wish…” Sylvan cleared his throat. “I wish I could help you as you helped me. I never would have made it after…after…” It was still difficult to say her name. “After Feenah if it wasn’t for you.”