“I do not defend my father,” she softly argued, “but he cannot change who he is.”
Gabriel wrinkled his nose. “No, I suppose he cannot.”
“And he is the only family I have.”
“Yes, I know.” His expression softened. “And if I am to be completely honest, I owe him a debt of gratitude I can never repay.”
“Gratitude?”
His lips twisted into a humorless smile at her bewilderment.
“Did you never realize how often I glanced in your direction when we were in the same room?”
“Enough, Gabriel.” Her brows snapped together at his poor jest. “There is no need to pretend…”
“This is no pretense,” he interrupted. “I noticed you the first occasion you were introduced to society. How could I not? Unlike the other debutantes who were forever giggling and fluttering about like irritating butterflies in an effort to attract attention, you always sat apart.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, wishing he would not play with her tortured heart.
“That is because I was unwelcome, as you very well know.”
“Not entirely.” He took a cautious step forward, although he was wise enough not to try and grab her. She was so fragile at the moment she thought she might shatter into a thousand pieces at the slightest touch. “You are not the sort to be content with the role of a silly flirt who has no interest beyond dancing and the latest gossip.” He peered deep into her wide eyes. “You were as bored at those parties as I was.”
A tremor shook her as she recalled those brief moments of insight, when she had been certain she shared a bond with Gabriel, even if he would never realize their connection.
Could they have been more than mere figments of her imagination?#p#分页标题#e#
She shook her head. “If you truly did glance my way, you were excessively discreet,” she said dryly. “I would have wagered my father’s last quid you had never so much as noticed me, let alone recalled my name.”
“I did not wish to admit my interest, not even to myself,” he smoothly retorted.
“Why? Because I was the daughter of a mere merchant?”
“In part.” He wearily rubbed the back of his neck. “I am not proud of my snobbery, but I cannot deny that it played a role.”
Talia flinched, but she preferred his honesty to pretense. “And the other part?”
“I had made the decision that my wife would be chosen because of her suitability to assume the role of the Countess of Ashcombe and not because of my own wish to have her as my wife.” He held her startled gaze. “Indeed, I intended to ensure that I had no feelings for her whatsoever.”
She made a sound of disbelief. She had known that many members of nobility were satisfied with arranged marriages, but she had supposed that they must at least hope for a measure of affection.
Otherwise it was surely no more than a soulless business arrangement.
“You desired to be indifferent to your wife?”
“Utterly and completely.”
“But…” She struggled to follow any logic that would lead a man to a loveless marriage when he could surely have any woman he pleased. “Why?”
“It is difficult to explain,” he muttered, heaving a faint sigh as he studied Talia’s stubborn expression. He clearly did not have to read her mind to know that she was far from satisfied with his explanation. “You know that I was young when my father died and I inherited his title?”
“Yes,” she agreed slowly, searching his guarded expression as she wondered what the devil his father’s death had to do with their conversation. “I know that it was very difficult for you.”
“It was.” Pain darkened his eyes. “I had trained all my life to become an earl, but I was still overwhelmed by the sense of responsibility that I was forced to shoulder. Suddenly I had servants and tenants who were all depending upon me to take care of them.” He shuddered. “And then there was my family.”
“It is a wonder you did not bolt.”
He gave a sharp laugh. “Believe me, I considered the notion more than once,” he admitted. “Only the knowledge that my steward would find me and drag me back by the scruff of my neck kept me from packing my bags.”
Despite her determination to nurture the angry resentment burning in her heart, Talia found herself unable to ignore the glimpse of the vulnerable young man who must have been terrified by his father’s sudden death.
“Whatever your uncertainty, you have obviously accepted the need to fulfill your duties,” she said.
He smiled, as if genuinely pleased by her approval. “Over the years I have come to accept my position. I hope that my father would have been proud of what I have accomplished.”