Brett's Little Headaches(16)

My body was on fire still, and that, more than anything, occupied my mind. I’m not going to lie to myself here alone in the darkness of my apartment.

What he was offering sounded like my every dream come true. A dad for the boys, enough stability to never have to worry about them again, and I don’t mean just financially.

I always knew that the boys needed a dad. I just never gave much thought as to how to get them one.

Now here he comes along, offering us everything. No, it’s too good to be true. Isn’t it? But how can I be sure?

If it were just myself I have no doubt I would go for it in a heartbeat, who wouldn’t? He was young, hot and what he made me feel whenever he got close cannot be overlooked.

I’ve never wanted anything as much as I wanted to just jump into his arms, and just let him do all those things his eyes promise.

But how can I risk it? My body and a little bit of my heart were screaming at me to go for it, but my head was a hold out. I just wasn’t sure that I could make that move, no matter how much I might want to.

I called my dad when the walls started to feel like they were closing in. “Hey kiddo your guest gone already?”

“He left a while ago dad.”

“Uh oh, I know that voice, tell old dad all about it.”

“What?”

“Don’t give me that, spill it. What did he do?”

“It’s not that it’s just...I don’t know what to make of this guy dad.

“Why do you have to make anything of him kiddo? You’re young, have some fun.”

“Dad, I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. You better than anyone else know my situation.”

“That’s right, that’s why I can tell you that you need to lighten up and live a little.”

“But dad he’s a stranger...”

“Laurie, honey, I hate to tell you this, but everyone’s a stranger when you first meet, that’s what dating is all about.”

“Yes, I know, but, the boys.”

“I thought we weren’t going to use the boys as a cover anymore. Look if it’ll help any, I ran this guy and he’s one of the good ones, surprising for someone with his kind of money, but everything I turned up says he’s a gem.

There was some kind of trouble lately with one of his employees but she was in the wrong as far as I can gather.”

“I don’t know dad, this all seems too good to be true and this time it’s not just me.”

“What does your heart say?”

“I stopped listening to that a long time ago.”

“That’s where you’ve gone wrong. You need love and companionship in your life. You’re too young to be this cynical Laurie, come on.

What can go wrong huh? You have a few dates and you and the boys get to enjoy the good life for a while, unless he proves you wrong and actually stick around.”

“Dad, I cannot believe I’m hearing this. You’re the one who’s always telling me to be careful.”

“I know, but I think maybe we might’ve taken it a bit too far. I didn’t mean for you to give up on life and be afraid to live yours.

It was your first time away from home and I wanted you and the boys to be safe, but I didn’t expect you to become a corpse.”

“Nice dad very nice; help me, tell me what to do.” It was just like old times, running to daddy when things went wrong.

He had been there for me, even when I knew that I had disappointed him. Not once had he judged or accused. That had only made the guilt sharper.

If I screwed up again I wasn’t sure how I would face him. He had raised me on his own after mom passed and had done everything right, but in the end I was still a needy little girl who went looking for love in all the wrong places.

“I already told you what I think but knowing your penchant for over thinking and stressing over every little thing, you’re going to do as you please anyway.

Maybe I should call Cantone on my own and put a bug in his ear.”

“Don’t you dare dad, I think I’ve been embarrassed enough for one day. I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Is lover boy coming over?”

“So he says but we’ll see.”

“Laurie, do me a favor and just try to relax. I know it’s hard for you to see it, but you’re a very beautiful girl and you deserve to be happy. Please let yourself be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I’m scared dad.”

“I know hon but I’m here, you’ll never know unless you take a chance. You don’t have to jump in with both feet at once, just dip your toes a little until you get the lay of the land, then go from there.”