"I can see that mind of yours working overtime over there, that's okay. Go ahead and work this shit out in your head, but don't forget what I said.
No matter where you go in your head, we're doing this, the sooner the better. Those two back there need a dad and I'm the man for the job."
"Brett be serous now, is this some kind of joke? I mean you seem too old for college pranks, so what exactly is going on here?" He looked back at the boys who were finally winding down.
"Let's get them home and settled, this conversation needs to be away from prying eyes and ears." He made a U-turn and headed back in the opposite direction.
I was on pins and needles wondering what he was going to come up with next. I could barely keep up. He seemed to have only one speed, which I should be used to by now after running around behind the boys for the past couple of years.
But this speed was entirely different, there was a lot more at stake here than a scraped knee from a fall.
I have no experience with men, my one failed attempt at a relationship had ended with me being pregnant at a young age and left holding the bag.
After the fear and self-loathing had passed in about month seven of my pregnancy, I had sat down at worked out the rest of my life.
By then I had already learned that I was expecting not one but two kids and that my life was forever changed.
Adoption was never an option, as hard as I knew things were going to be, I couldn’t bear a part of me living somewhere else in the world never knowing that I existed.
This, what was going on here, was not part of my plan, no. My plan consisted of me working hard for the next few years and socking away as much as I could so that when the boys were in school, I could go back myself.
That’s why we lived in the not so nice part of town and bought store brand everything. The restaurant did pretty good business and my tips were enough.
That’s why I put up with the crap from the day supervisor. I always kept my goals in front of me, so that way, no matter how hard the day might be, I knew that I was one step closer to a better life.
I checked on my boys to see what they were up to. I have to admit he did have a way with my monsters, but that in no way meant he was right for me.
And that other thing, that was just a fluke, just me being hard up I guess. Those two things together were not enough for people to be making or accepting marriage proposals.
I snuck a look at him out the corner of my eye. He looked normal enough; in fact he wasn’t even breaking a sweat after asking a complete stranger to marry him.
Maybe this was just something he did, one of those playboy types that you see on true crime shows, a serial dater, or worst yet, a bigamist.
None of that fit though, but I was still sure there had to be something else going on here other than what he was trying to sell me.
I can understand a guy trying to get into my pants, but I couldn’t seriously believe that anyone would be willing to take on my boys and me, and especially not after just one day.
But what if he was being truthful, as farfetched as it seemed? And what if he wasn’t?
I was afraid to believe or hope that anything could possibly come of it. We’ll go back to the apartment and he’ll probably try to get me into bed.
As soon as I turn him down he’ll be gone and that will be the end of it. I’m almost tempted to go to bed with him just to get it over and done with, but I knew I wouldn’t do it.
My only real regret was that the boys would miss out. They genuinely seem to like him and he’s the first guy I’d ever allowed to get this close to them.
Was it only this morning that we met? Why couldn’t life be simpler? Why did people have to play so many games, so that you doubted everything and everyone?
I was nineteen years old, almost twenty and my life felt like it was almost over. My choices were limited now and that’s the truth.
It’s something I’ve come to terms with a long time ago, but today, for the first time, I wish I were the type to take chances, because Brett Cantone makes me want to risk it all.
I looked back at my boys who were all but nodding off in their car seats, their little faces happy and excited because they’d had a good day, and most of it was because of this man.
My heart squeezed when I thought that I might never see him again. That if it was all just a game, no matter how much I tell myself that I’m not interested, it was going to hurt like hell.
No, I can’t risk it; there was no point in setting myself up for disappointment. Jonathan had done a number on me, but I was a hundred percent sure that this one would destroy me.
***
BRETT
I know exactly what she's thinking but she has no idea who she's dealing with. Her last...whatever the fuck he was was a boy.