Breathless In Love (The Maverick Billionaires #1)(41)
“Eddie couldn’t drive for crap. And someone got the brilliant idea of giving him his absolute last chance to make it with us. They wanted to set him up in a car, let him race, and watch him crash. ’Cause they were all sure he’d crash. I saw Eddie talking to himself, a pep talk, psyching himself up. He was gonna do it. This time he’d get it right.” He gritted his teeth. “Light—we called him that because he had the lightest fingers and could pick anything out of any pocket—he stood there telling the Munster he had shit for brains and he couldn’t do it, he was nothing, would always be nothing, and this would prove it. On and on. And I watched. All I did was watch.”
He stopped speaking, then stayed silent so long she thought the story had cost him his power of speech.
“He lost it,” Will finally said in a soft voice, one she could barely hear. “The way they all thought he would. Sideswiped another car. That was it. His last chance. And he was out. I can still hear them laughing at him. Until he made them stop.” He closed his eyes, shuddered. “I guess he snapped. He turned the car around, and he plowed right through them.” His tanned skin had gone white, as if the memories were draining all the blood from him. “He killed Light and two other guys. Then he slammed into a wall head on. Killed himself, too.”
She couldn’t manage to hold in her gasp at Will’s revelation, but less than a heartbeat later, she needed him to know, “You didn’t bully him. You didn’t do anything.”
He looked at her then, and she swore she could see him shutting off the movie screen in his head. “That’s exactly right. I did nothing. I let them drive him into the ground. I never stuck up for him the way I did for Matt. Matt was an outsider, an innocent. Eddie, he wanted to be one of us. So I let them haze him to death. Literally. And he took the guys I thought were my friends with him. If I’d done something long before then…”
“Could you really have stopped it? Or would they simply have beaten on you like they did when you stood up for Matt?”
He shook his head sharply. “It doesn’t matter. I never tried. A crime of omission is still a crime.”
She understood then why he drove so fast. It wasn’t so much a love of speed as it was a way to run from his memories, his past. “And you’re still racing after all these years,” she said aloud.
His eyes were simultaneously full of emotion and totally bleak. “Yes. I still love speed. Still need speed. Still feel like I’ll go off the rails if I don’t have enough of it. Being with you is like that, Harper. A total rush. You fill up all those empty spaces. And even though I’ve known all along that I shouldn’t let it happen, I haven’t been able to stop. Haven’t been able to make myself do the right thing and leave you alone.”
She couldn’t stand it anymore. She couldn’t lie still in his bed. She either had to touch him—or run.
And she knew which one he thought she would pick. Almost as if every word he uttered was designed to make her leave. To force her out. To make her throw his words of love back in his face.
But how could she, when everything was now so clear? Will had been a small boy who was horribly used. And yet, he’d turned into a man who would champion her brother and teach a small child to swim. He’d been a broken little boy who, with help and love, had glued himself back together again.
And now, he was a man who loved her.
All along she’d been telling herself this was just hot sex with a super hot guy. Nothing more than a thrilling ride in a fast car. But the truth was that Will had managed to touch her in all the places she’d been afraid to let anyone near. Not since her parents died. Not even since she’d lost the old Jeremy. She’d never let anyone in. Not until Will had pushed past her barriers, her walls, each of her fears, one by one.
The honest truth? She was terrified. Terrified that if she truly gave her heart and then something happened to him, how could she possibly keep moving forward without him the way she had before?
“So you see, Harper, I’m really not a nice guy in any way.”
As his voice thrummed like a chord inside her, she crawled across the expanse of his bed. She couldn’t let him believe that horrible lie for one more second.
She straddled his lap and took his face in her palms. “I don’t want a nice guy. I only want you. The best man I’ve ever known.” Putting her hand on the tattoo of his youth, she bent to kiss the inked skin. “Susan and Bob forgave you no matter what you did. And so do I, Will. So do I.”
But she knew she needed to say more, needed to explain why she wasn’t echoing his beautiful words back to him. “My not saying those words...it’s not because you aren’t worthy. And it’s definitely not because I’m too smart to fall for you. I’m falling, Will. You have to believe that. I just—”
She’d been planning to seal the confession with a kiss designed to ease his pain and loss, but he cut off her halting words, pulling her to him, his mouth a breath away.
“It’s enough to know you’re falling, Harper. And that one day, maybe, if I’m lucky, you’ll let yourself fall all the way.”
She kissed him then, with everything she had in her. Tasted him, savored him, and took his hard heat between her naked thighs, putting on protection at the same time. Then she took him deep inside. So deep that their coming together stole her breath, his breath, even stopped the beating of their hearts for one endless, perfect moment.
“Harper.”
She drew everything from him then, with her body, her soul. Over and over, faster, harder, her hands, her mouth, taking him higher, deeper, until he cried her name, guttural words spilling out.
She recognized love, she recognized you. And for the first time, as she followed him over the edge of a greater bliss than she’d ever known, she let herself fully drink in his emotion...and the undeniable truth that he was quickly becoming everything to her.
* * *
Will had never known peace. Not until this moment. He’d always been fighting—to make more money, to best a business opponent, to drive the fastest car, to introduce his clients to the perfect caviar or the ultimate Swiss watch, to find the one thing in the world that everyone wanted and only he could provide.
He’d been fighting his whole life to erase the kid he’d left behind in Chicago.
Until Harper made love to him...and he realized he didn’t need to fight anymore.
She hadn’t said she loved him, had even told him she needed more time. He understood that Harper—and Jeremy—had been hurt enough by men like him that she needed to think, to process, and to make absolutely sure she trusted him. But he swore he could feel her love in the way she looked at him with such emotion, in her touch, in the way she’d taken him to heaven and wouldn’t let him leave.
She rested her fingers on his tattoo. “If it bothers you so much, why haven’t you gotten rid of it?”
“It reminds me of where I came from.” He could have left it at that, but she’d just given him so much. More than he’d ever hoped for. So he forced himself to give her more in return. “And it reminds me of where I never want to go again.”
He still couldn’t believe she hadn’t jumped from his bed and demanded that he take her home. That she didn’t hate him.
“Is that why you never let me take your clothes off? Why you wore a T-shirt when you were swimming with Noah?”
“Almost no one has seen my tattoo. I’m careful to make sure they don’t.”
She pressed a kiss to the center of his chest, right where it felt as if his heart was beating only for her. “So that makes me special, doesn’t it?”
Hauling her tight against him, he wanted her to feel the power she had over him. To know that she’d made his life good in a way it never had been before. In a way he’d never thought it could be. “So special you make me ache when I look at you.”
Her gaze roamed his face. She followed the look with her fingers. “You changed your life, changed who you are. If you ask me, you should let everyone see it.”
It stunned him that, like Susan, she saw his mark as a symbol of triumph rather than as the evidence of his worthlessness. She wanted him to recognize it, too. Just as Susan had said, Harper was good for him.
In that moment, as he held her tight in his arms and she held him right back, Will vowed to do everything in his power to prove he could be good for her as well. He wouldn’t let her down.
No matter what.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“I still can’t believe you rented the entire Laguna Seca Raceway,” Harper said a week later. “How is that even possible?”
The man could do anything. He wasn’t just amazing—he was completely overwhelming.
Will hadn’t sprung this trip to the racetrack on her, but checked with her first whether it was okay before mentioning it to her brother. “I swear,” he’d said, “we’ll keep it to one hundred twenty, tops. Slower in the turns.”
One hundred twenty. He’d said it as if she should be reassured by that number. She wasn’t, of course, since one-twenty was way too fast. But he had promised to keep her brother safe, no matter what. And despite the blitz of fear at the thought of her brother going that fast in a car, she realized she trusted Will. Trusted him with Jeremy in a way she’d never trusted anyone else.