Breathe With Me(12)

“You became friends.”

“We did.” She nods and shivers. I check my watch and realize that we’ve already been here for a couple hours. I grab a blanket for each of us, wrap one around Mer and then one around myself and sit, ready to listen to more. “And then Mom got sick.” Her voice turns softer and more distant, and she’s still watching the water like she’s watching it all play out like a movie. “I knew I had to come home. At first she didn’t want me to. She insisted that she was okay, and honestly if she’d still had Dad or Tiff here, I probably wouldn’t have come home when I did, but she had no one, M.”

I nod and rub her back soothingly, letting her talk.

“I was close to retirement age anyway.”

“You were twenty-seven.” My voice sounds exasperated to my own ears.

“Most dancers peak at twenty-five.” She shrugs, as if it is what it is. “Touring life gets old after a while, and Mom needed me.”

“Why did Jax come with you?”

“He’s older than me, and we’d been together since week one.” She bites her lip and watches me quietly for a moment. “Jax is the closest thing I’ve had to a sibling since Tiff died, M. We’d talked about opening a studio for a long time, and it felt like this was the time. And I’m glad we did. The studio is doing really well.”

“One more thing that I’m proud of you for,” I reply and kiss her knuckles again. “Keep going,” I say.

“Well, that’s pretty much it. The CliffsNotes version, anyway.”

“Will you go on tour again?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer. Please say no.

“No,” she shakes her head. “That time of my life is done. We have been asked to choreograph Starla’s routine for the VMA’s next month, so we’ll be in LA for a few days for that, but things like that will be hit and miss. Our business is here.”

“Why does Jax call you all of the crazy nicknames?” I ask.

“Oh.” She swallows and cringes. “Well, eating disorders are pretty common in the dance world. That’s no secret.”

My hands fist in spite of myself and my whole body stills as I think of her hurting herself that way.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t get caught in that trap. Well,” she cringes again and bites her lip. “There was one director who was just a hard ass. More so than anyone else. He told me I was too big in the boob area.” She rolls her eyes. “I can’t help that I have boobs. But I thought that if I went on a diet, I might loose some weight. Jax caught on and gave me a verbal tongue lashing.”

“Good for him,” I murmur, pissed that anyone would even think that Meredith is fat. If anything, she’s always been too slender.

“That director made snide comments about my chest almost every day. It was hell. But I was determined that he wasn’t going to make me quit. I worked my ass off on that job. Years later, he called and asked me to audition for another role, and I turned him down.”

“I bet that felt good.” God, she’s so fucking amazing. She’s turned into such a strong, confident woman.

“It was awesome to tell him to kiss my fat ass.” She giggles and leans her head on my shoulder. “So, ever since then, Jax calls me things like twinkie and cheesecake. It’s just a joke.”

“He seems like a funny guy.”

“One of the reasons we’re friends,” she says with a grin. “He makes me laugh. And he puts up with my moody shit. And there’s no chance in hell he’ll ever hit on me.”

“And for that, he’s my new best friend as well.”

She laughs and then grows quiet. The boats have slowed down and the crickets and frogs around us are talking. It’s late in the evening now, but I have no intention to leave any time soon.

“And you? What are you doing with that impressive science degree of yours?”

“How did you know I got a science degree?”

“We still know a lot of the same people, you know.”

I take a deep breath and nod. “I’m not doing a damn thing with it. I worked on fishing boats in Alaska for a while, and now I’m working construction.”

“Okay, that’s the extreme CliffsNotes version. Expand, please.”

I sigh and push my hand through my messy hair. Fuck, I need a haircut. I always need a haircut.

“My degree was in aerospace engineering.”

“Holy shit,” she replies with wide eyes. “You’re a fucking rocket scientist?”

“No, I’m not. Haven’t you been listening?”

“That’s just semantics. You could be a rocket scientist. How did you manage to do that so quickly?”