“You okay?” he asks, eyes pleading for me to let him continue.
“I … I think so.” When I’d done this with Luke, I’d been ready. This time feels entirely different.
Sean senses my distraction. “Stay with me, Reese.” His voice is gentle. “I know you want this.” He pushes his fingers in and out of me at a steady pace.
I try to do what he says. “We’re adults. We love each other.”
He gazes down on me with hungry eyes. “Do you like this?”
“It feels good,” I tell him, trying to focus. It does feel good, now that my body’s getting used to him, but I still feel something is missing—some sort of connection. Would sex be the answer? Is that all it is? And if it were, why had it felt right with Luke? It’d always felt right with Luke. Who am I kidding? I shouldn’t trust my own instincts.
“Did he bother you? Touch you in a way to make you uncomfortable?”
Huh? “Who?” That’s an odd question to be asking, considering what we’re doing.
“You know who I’m talking about.”
I blink. Did he know what I was thinking? “Is it really the time to ask?” I gently push him off me. “Way to kill the mood, Sean.”
He rolls over. “Don’t pretend like you were into it.”
“I had been … until you opened your mouth. Great timing by the way.” Truthfully, I’m relieved.
His brows bunch together. “What happened to you? You’re a vibrant, twenty-one year old woman. You’re sexy as hell, yet you have little-to-no sexual experience.”
“Are you complaining?”
“No.” He blows out a breath. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I’m trying to communicate.” Holding up his hands, he asks, “Do you even want to be with me? Be honest.”
“Yes!” I say convincingly.
“’Cause a moment ago, you were some place else.” He rests his head in his hands. “Tell me, Reese. Where’d you go?”
“I—I don’t know.” If I tell him the truth, it’ll crush him. I drop my gaze to his chest, which is still glistening with sweat. “It happens sometimes. My mind just sort of drifts.” I hate liars, and now I’ve become one. I know exactly where I was. With the tattooed, six foot three Adonis who resides across the way. I tell myself there are times we have no control over our thoughts, in an attempt to lesson the guilt I’m feeling, but it doesn’t seem to help.
“And you avoided my question,” he says quietly. “Did he touch you?”
My eyes flick back to his. “What do you mean, did he touch me? He isn’t some sort of pervert, Sean.” He doesn’t know Luke the way I do—nothing about our history or how he had saved me years ago.
“I told you I don’t trust him with you.”
“I know you don’t.”
“Why are you defending him then?”
My gaze softens. “Because he was a gentleman, Sean. You have no reason to worry. My heart belongs to you now,” I say sincerely, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. “Can we talk about something else?” My phone chimes with a message, but I ignore it. Whoever it is can wait.
“Go ahead,” he says, eyeing it.
“No way. We’re talking.”
“What if it’s important?”
I shrug. “They can wait.”
Looking at me skeptically, he reaches for it, but I grab it and toss it onto my nightstand. “What is your problem?”
“Why won’t you check it?”
I frown, narrowing my eyes. “I told you, we are talking.”
“You just don’t want me to see it. That’s what it is!” This is getting ridiculous.
“I want you to trust me. I thought it’d be rude to check in the middle of our conversation. But you want me to check. Fine, I’ll check!” Grabbing my phone, I hand it over. “Better yet, you check.” I have nothing to hide now that the flowers are out in the open.
Gladly jerking it out of my hand, his eyes roam over the text. His face turns three shades of violet. He says nothing when he gives it back.
My gaze falls on the text, then I swallow before I can look at him again. “It’s the first time he’s messaged me since he’s been back. I swear.”
He gets out of bed quickly and puts on his clothes. “I need to go. You should text him back. Don’t want to keep him waiting.”
“Sean—”
He won’t even look at me. “I’ll see you later, Reese.”
“You do believe me, don’t you?”
He doesn’t reply, and this time I decide to let him go.