He’s right; I am. And it’s because of Speedy.
“She’s good for you, Gabe.”
“Yeah, I guess she is.” I smile.
“It’s about time you found someone to love your sorry ass.”
And that knocks me back in my chair.
“Whoa! What? Love? Calm yourself the fuck down. We’re just dating. Well, fucking. I mean, we haven’t actually even been out on a date.”
Shit. I haven’t even taken her out on a date. What kind of boyfriend am I? The clueless-shit kind obviously.
He raises a brow. “A minute ago, she was your girlfriend. And, not to point out the obvious, but you do have her living in your house.”
“She is my girlfriend. And she only lives here because of circumstances,” I protest. “With my broken foot, I’ve needed help, and she needs a place to stay.”
“You still need help?”
“Well…no, not anymore, as I can take it off to bathe now. But she hasn’t found a place to stay yet. She can’t find anywhere in her price range that takes pets.”
“Mmhmm.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” He’s watching me with an amused look on his face. “I just think Gabe doth protest too much.”
“Don’t fucking quote Shakespeare to me, you douche. And I don’t love Speedy. Sure, I love fucking her. She’s hot as fuck. She’s funny and smart, and she cooks amazing food. I like having her around. Like,” I emphasize. “I like her. Not love.”
“I never said you did. I said, it’s good that you have someone to love you. But, now, I’m thinking that you do love her.”
I flip him off, and he laughs.
Why is this bothering me so much?
I don’t care what he thinks. I know I’m not in love with Speedy, and she’s not in love with me.
We’re just having fun.
Right?
Right.
Julian stubs his cigarette out and gets to his feet. “I’m gonna head off. I’ve got an early start in the morning.”
“You going back to Vancouver?”
“Day after tomorrow. Got a meeting with the studio heads first thing. I’ll catch you before I head back to Vancouver though.”
“Sure thing.”
I stub my cigarette out and go to get up to see him out, but he pats me on the shoulder.
“Don’t get up. I’ll see myself out.”
“Okay. Later, man.”
He gives Gucci a stroke and then leaves.
I light up another cigarette and stare out at the night sky and the city moving below me.
I can’t believe Julian thinks I’m in love with Speedy.
I’ve never loved a woman in my life, and I don’t intend to change that.
The only person I’ve ever loved in my life is Tate. Well, I loved my parents once, but that died a long time ago.
But do I love Speedy? No. No way.
I like her, sure. But not love.
Fucking Julian, winding me up.
I finish my cigarette and make sure that Gucci has done her pissing and shitting for the night. Then, I take her inside with me.
She follows me to my bedroom. I push the door open, and Gucci runs in and jumps on her chair.
Speedy is asleep. The lamp is on, and her Kindle is facedown on her chest. She must have fallen asleep while reading.
She looks beautiful.
My heart starts to beat faster.
But I don’t love her.
I’m just in like with her.
I go over, pick the Kindle up, and put it on the nightstand. Then, I turn the lamp off and go into the bathroom to take a piss and brush my teeth.
When I’m done, I climb in bed. Speedy rolls toward me in her sleep, her arm sliding over my waist, and it makes me smile.
“Speedy?”
“Mmhmm?”
“You awake?”
“Mmhmm.”
I scoot down the bed, so my face is closer to hers.
“I need to tell you something.”
One of her eyes pops open.
“I lied to you. The day you ran me over, I said I didn’t remember you from the club. I lied. I did remember you.”
She opens her other eye. “Why did you lie?”
“Because I’m a jackass.”
“Yeah, I think we’ve already established that.”
She’s silent a moment.
“You mad at me?”
“No, of course not. I just…” She exhales. “You don’t have to say you remembered me to make me feel better. I know Julian remembered me, but—”
“You were wearing a red dress that showed off your gorgeous legs. Your lips were painted red to match. I remember thinking how much I’d like to see that red lipstick smeared all over my cock. Your hair was down and curled. And you were the most beautiful girl in the room.”
The expression that my words put on her face makes me feel like a fucking king.