With me.
Was he aware that was what he was doing?
He was breathing heavily as he came closer, cock painfully hard, balls drawn up tight. He had all his attention focused on me. He’d stopped stroking himself and then reached down and tucked his cock in his jeans, doing them up. The lines etched into his face told me it caused him physical pain.
What was he doing?
He closed the gap between us and slowly walked around me, dark eyes moving over me as he did, soft touches brushing my skin, tender kisses to my breasts, my hip, the center of my back. He stopped behind me and brushed my hair over my shoulder, kissing the nape of my neck. “How did I get so lucky?” He kissed me there again. “How could you let me touch you?” His hands came around me and cupped my breasts, squeezing gently. “Let me put my big, rough, dirty hands on your pretty, smooth skin, this sweet little body?” He nuzzled the space between my neck and shoulder. “How did I ever deserve that?”
He shook his head.
“Elijah…”
One of his hands smoothed down my belly, sliding between my slick folds. “I don’t, angel. I never did.”
I wanted to pull him into my arms and comfort him, show him he was wrong. But he wasn’t going to listen to me right then. As far as he was concerned, he wasn’t good enough, and nothing I could say would change his mind. He’d made it impossible for me to try, impossible for me to reach for him, comfort him, pleasure him.
He’d let me orgasm a little while ago, but he’d held off.
He’d said I wasn’t being punished…
And I realized in that moment—he was punishing himself.
His fingers were relentless. I gasped and moaned, head swimming, caught between the pleasure he was giving me and my need to reassure him. “You do…I…”
“Shhh,” he said and circled my clit, making me jerk in his arms.
I love you.
The words were right there, a second from exploding from my lips. I did, I loved him with everything in me, but he wasn’t ready to hear it. I doubted he’d believe me if I told him. Not after what happened today. Somehow I’d let him in. He’d found a way past my fears and the pain of losing both my parents and filled that empty place in my heart.
He released a ragged breath and moved around me, so he was in front of me again.
“I’d never kissed a woman before you.” His hand went back between my legs, and he pushed a finger inside. I cried out, arching, the ropes pulling against my wrists. “You’re the only woman I ever wanted to kiss, the only woman I ever wanted.”
I whimpered. “I need to touch you, Elijah.”
He ignored me like I hadn’t even said a thing and dropped his head to my shoulder, breathing in deep. “Did you ever see me like them, darlin’? A monster…a charity case?”
“No. Never.”
He lifted his head. “Jesus, Abigail, I was afraid to let myself believe it…but I’m starting to. You see me differently, don’t you? You really do care?”
“Yes…”
He cursed, thrust his fingers in my hair, and brought his mouth down on mine, cutting me off. He slanted his head, tongue licking deep, kissing me in a way that had my head spinning. He moaned against my lips as he finger-fucked me. Just that one finger. Making me desperate for more, keeping me teetering on the edge.
“You can’t hide the way you feel about me, can you? You love the way my mouth feels on yours.”
“Yes, I love it.”
“You get wetter when I kiss you, touch you.”
He made an anguished sound that sent a shiver down my spine. The way he was looking at me, eyes blazing, teeth gritted, that pain back in his eyes, it was like he’d only just now allowed himself to believe it, believed that I wanted him as much as he did me. After everything we’d done and said, how could he have doubted it?
He shuddered and dropped to his knees in front of me. “I need to taste you, feel you quivering against my tongue, angel. Lift your foot.”
I didn’t have a chance to do as he asked because he did it for me, lifting my leg so it rested over his shoulder. I was exposed, wide open. He leaned in, hands on my ass, and buried his face between my thighs before I had a chance to say a thing. His mouth opened over me, licking and sucking my slick, sensitive flesh, then he plunged his tongue inside me. I cried out, fully handing over control, like he wanted me to—like I wanted, too.
He growled, fingers flexing against my ass as heavy-lidded brown eyes lifted to mine, locking on while he fucked me with his tongue. I bucked, my skin flushing hotter. A cry burst past my lips, and I wrapped my hands around the rope above, desperate for something to hang on to. I was completely at his mercy.