Breaking Him(45)

And I just…snapped. “Kyle isn’t exactly the most reliable source of information. He was certain about the UFO he saw senior year as well.”

She narrowed her eyes, and I spun around and walked out before she could ask any more damn nosy questions.

The drive back to the ranch was quiet. Eli was focused inward, deep in thought, unhappy. My stomach churned. I’d done it again. Spoken without thinking. But I’d been shocked that people, friends, people I’d known all my life, could behave that way. Judge us like they had a right, like they knew any damn thing about us. I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes when the full impact of what I’d done, of what Eli had faced most of his life, hit me like a ton of bricks.

I started shaking, the ache I felt for him more than physical—it was soul deep. And I’d gone and added to his pain. Again. I thought I might actually vomit. Sick over what I’d said. Over how Eli must feel. Why the hell had I lied? Why hadn’t I just admitted what was between us?

I turned to Elijah, my heart in my throat, desperate to make him understand. “I shouldn’t have said what I did to Joanna. I’m sorry, Elijah. God, I don’t give a shit what an idiot like her thinks, I don’t care what any of them think…”

“You did the right thing,” he said to the windshield, surprising me. “You were right to deny it.” He pulled up to the barn and shut off the engine.

“No.” I shook my head. “No, I was wrong. I don’t know why I said that… I just wanted them to stop… I—”

He placed his hand tenderly against the side of my face, successfully silencing me. He shook his head. “You weren’t wrong.” Then he brushed his lips over mine, climbed from the truck, and headed out to the field and the horses.

I watched him go, heart lodged firmly in my throat.





Chapter Twelve

The day was dragging, and the queasy feeling in my belly wasn’t showing any signs of subsiding.

The fact that Eli hadn’t come in the whole afternoon, had been out working since we returned from town—had been avoiding me—wasn’t helping.

I could see him from where I stood at the front of the house, his shirt off, sweat and dirt coating his skin as he mended fences. He’d started the task after he’d run the horses through their paces. Now the sun was dipping low in the sky, and he didn’t look like he had any intention of finishing any time soon.

Dinner was almost done. We’d been eating every meal together, and I didn’t know if I should leave him to his own thoughts or go out there and try to get him to come in. I hated this, how a pack of ignorant busybodies had managed to get between us, had caused Elijah to doubt what we were doing. Because that’s what was happening here. He was torn, conflicted. I’d seen it in his eyes when he’d finally looked at me. When he’d said I was right to deny what was between us.

When Kyle had found us together earlier in the week, he’d said he didn’t care what they thought, that they weren’t worth the wasted breath. Now, though, after the incident in town…

Well, I didn’t know what he was thinking.

I decided to leave him for a little longer, hoping he’d come in when he was ready, and walked back inside. I finished up dinner and left it to cool. We could reheat it later. I didn’t want to eat alone. I wanted to eat with Eli. Restless and worried, and desperate for something to keep myself occupied, I headed outside to tackle the pile of wood he had been chopping, and began stacking it against the barn wall.

It was almost as tall as me when I heard the crunch of his boots behind me.

I started to turn, but I didn’t get the chance. He collided with my back, yanked the piece of wood out of my hand, flung it aside, and walked me forward to the truck parked a few feet away.

His hand dropped to the front of my shorts. “Need you,” he growled against my ear. “Will you let me fuck you right here, angel?”

We were behind the barn; even if someone just showed up, they wouldn’t be able to see us. And right then, I wanted him so bad I didn’t care. “Yes,” I gasped out, dizzy from the sudden onslaught, the way he was now tearing at my shorts to get them open. “Is this my punishment?” I wanted it, needed it, deserved it. The guilt over today was eating me up. I needed release from it.

“No,” he rasped. “You did nothing to deserve punishment.”

“Eli…”

“Don’t,” he said, cutting me off, agony in his voice. Then he shoved my shorts and underwear down, and I kicked them free. “I need you, right now. I can’t get enough of you, darlin’. You’re all I can think about, all day, every day. When I’m inside you, I’m in heaven. And as soon as I pull out, all I’m thinking about is when I can get back in.”