I stayed where I was, then he was coming, shaking and growling, hips jerking as he pumped hot and hard down my throat. I stayed where I was until he was finished, then I took my time licking him clean. When I was done, I rose to my feet and did what I’d been dying to do for the longest time. I reached up and cupped the side of his face, dragging my thumb across his stubbled jaw, feeling the texture against my skin. “You’re magnificent, Eli Hays.” Then, going up on my toes, pulling him down to meet me, I placed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth and stepped back.
His breath rushed in and out of his lungs like he’d just run full speed from one end of the ranch to the other. His eyes dropped to my chest, down to the apex of my thighs, and he took a step closer. More than anything, I wanted to go to him, let him do to me whatever was going through his head right then, but I knew if I did, I would never leave this room. Not good, not when I had Garrett’s wife, Cassie, popping over for a beer and a catch-up. If she caught us together…well, I didn’t know how she’d react. How could I explain it to her, when I didn’t know what this was myself?
But that wasn’t the only reason I was saying no to anything more right then.
I planted my hand on his abs, shivering at the way those bulky muscles tightened. “I wanted to do that for you. I don’t expect anything in return. Things got heated fast. Think about it, whether you wanna go any further with this.” I took a step back, and he swayed toward me. My eyes dipped to his already hardening cock. Sweet Jesus. “You want more, you know where I am. But if you don’t?” I offered him a small smile. “No hard feelings. I’ll leave you to your own company and we’ll carry on like before, like this never happened.”
I hated that idea. A lot. And even as I said the words I didn’t know if I believed what I was saying. But I also didn’t want to push him into anything.
I took him in, one last time, all heaving, rippling muscle, expression fierce, jaw tight, eyes bright. Then I walked out, shutting the door behind me.
…
Sweat trickled down between my shoulder blades, dirt smearing my arms, as I pulled weeds from around my struggling tomato plants. I’d neglected a lot of things after Dad died; it was hard taking on full responsibility of running the ranch. I’d been doing most of the work before he passed on, but we’d been a good team—we picked up each other’s slack. It’d been just the two of us for a long time, and I missed him like crazy.
I didn’t know why I was so melancholy. I’d woken up feeling low, and that dark cloud had hovered over my head all day. Lifting a hand to shield the sun, I looked out to the field where Elijah was working with the mare again. He had a halter in his hand, letting her scent it, while he continued to touch her face. Getting her used to the sensation, the smell.
The horse’s ear pricked up. I couldn’t see Eli’s face, but I knew he was talking to her, comforting her, encouraging her, praising her as he slid a hand into his pocket for a treat—rewarding her for being a good girl. That’s what he’d be murmuring in her ear. “Good girl. That’s my girl.” His deep voice low, gentle, but with that ever-present growl that lifted the hair at the back of my neck.
There was something in him, something hungry and wild, something I didn’t know if even he was aware of. He’d obviously closed himself off from everything and everyone, from his own needs and feelings. Not surprising with the way people treated him. But I knew it was there, lurking just below the surface. A part of him he’d locked down tight, constantly fought against. I craved that part of him. I wanted to be the one to set it free.
I wanted to break through, break him—so I could put him back together piece by piece and make him whole again.
Then I wanted him to turn all that newly unleashed hunger on me, have those scarred, rough hands on my skin, demanding, taking whatever they wanted. I wanted him to make me scream his name until I forgot my own.
I wanted him to gentle me, praise and encourage me as he bent me to his will.
A shiver slid through me.
What the hell was wrong with me?
A gust of wind came out of nowhere, whipping around me, and a crack rang out as a bolt of lightning rent the sky. I shivered again, but this time for another reason. I hated storms. Had since I was a little girl. Though I’d welcome this one, welcome the fears that came with it, if it would bring blessed rain.
I looked back to the field, and Eli was heading toward the barn, the mare left to graze. Troubled by my thoughts of him, the way they’d affected me, confused me—aroused me—I realized I wasn’t ready to face him again just yet. Not when I could still taste him on my tongue, when I could still feel the way he’d trembled under my hands, could hear the lust-filled noises he’d made when he’d come ringing in my ears.