Breaking Even(62)

“I haven’t really dated since high school,” I say through laughter. “I’m an adult. And I’m allowed to have some fun. I’m not deluding myself into thinking Rye wants anything more than fun.”

She scowls at me. “You’re more to him than fun. I guarantee you he has feelings for you that go deeper than the surface.”

“Maggie, right now I’m the exotic creature. For once in my life, I’m something refreshing. To him at least. He’s used to gorgeous girls throwing themselves at him, and I’m the ordinary girl who smashed his car instead of dropping my pants. Well, before I dropped my pants.”

I aim for joking, but her ugly scowl promises I’m not getting through to her comical side.

“Maggie, don’t. Don’t force me to analyze this. It’s fun to be different in a good way for a change. Last night, I felt better than I have in so many years. Don’t steal that by forcing me to see it as it is. Not yet. Just let me enjoy it for a little while.”

Her look softens, and she blows out a breath.

“Fine. But if he hurts you, I’m roasting his balls on a campfire.”

He’s going to destroy me.

“I’ll be fine,” I lie.

I can do this. I can have fun, meaningless, casual sex with my beautiful, sweet, incredible, perfect neighbor that I happen to be falling for too much. I was okay with leaving. But then he asked me to stay. I was okay with it being just one night, but then he referenced the future. I was okay with it just being about sex, but then we talked. And for the first time since John left me, I talked about our divorce without getting angry.

I smiled. I frigging smiled because it felt so good not to give a damn anymore.

Now I’m smiling again, and Maggie is frowning.

“You’re already in love with the bastard,” she groans.

“Am not,” I retort quickly, rolling my eyes.

I’m not sure how deep that lie is, but I know it’s not exactly true. I’m pretty sure I’ve been falling in love with him since the day he stole my car to fix it. But he’s not looking for love. And I’m willing to take what I can get, because I settle. I always have. That’s how people find a few moments of stolen happiness from an otherwise cold and disappointing world—they settle.

***

RYE

“You have...”

Jessica keeps talking, rattling off my schedule, but those are the only two words that break through. My mind is only on one thing. I’ve never slept so damn good as I did last night.

No doubt it was from the exhausting evening. It had to be. I refuse to believe I slept so well because Brin was in my arms. But damn she looks sweet when she sleeps.

I wasn’t going to get up with her. I knew I’d end up in the shower with her and doing things that would only complicate our lives, but I wanted to play. She always makes me smile when she gets that fake angry hissing tone. She loves our war.

“And Tag Masters is here to see you,” Jessica says, somehow managing to make me hear her again.

I turn in my chair and frown. Why’s he here?

He walks in, and Jessica’s eyes roam over his body. Nice to see she’s recovering from my rejection so quickly.

Tag, of course, doesn’t acknowledge her. He sits down in front of me, and she pouts on her way out. That girl is going to develop a complex working here.

“What?” I grumble.

“Rain’s surprise party is tonight. I just wanted to know if you want Leah to meet you there. She’s called me like ten times, wondering if I’ve talked to you since the night you left her stranded. Ash is going to kill her if she doesn’t stop calling my cell phone. Apparently she’s very jealous while pregnant. I’m still learning all this stuff. She’s never really been jealous before because she knows without a doubt that I’d never do anything.”

I walked out on Leah after kissing Brin, and she wants a date with me? Again?

“No thanks. I prefer girls with self-respect.”

I can’t tell him about Brin. I don’t know what to say or how to explain it. At this moment, I don’t even know what’s going on. But she’ll ask. She’ll ask soon, and it’ll be the end of us when I don’t have the answer she wants.

“Hello?” Tag says, waving his hand in front of my face as though he’s been talking and I’ve been ignoring him.

I clear my throat and try to give him my attention. “I asked if you were still pissed at me or something.”

I’m not pissed at him. I’m pissed at me for being such a little bitch.

“No. I’m coming to the party, but I’ll bring my own date. No more setups.”

He frowns and nods. “Fine. I’ll see you there. I need to grab some sort of present. What the hell do you buy a girl like Rain?”