I lie here quietly, letting Dragon think I am still asleep. He’s standing in front of the window, the moon is shining off his body and it makes him look other-worldly. He is perfection standing. A Greek God couldn’t hold a candle to him. Yet, as beautiful as he is, as perfect as the package is…inside it’s broken and scarred and I am starting to fear I will never be able to touch what matters most—his heart.
I watch him for a good ten minutes and he doesn’t move. He’s getting lost in his thoughts and I know that’s not good. I’m pretty much in the dark but I know some heavy shit went down. The girls at the party were talking about one of their own betraying them. I may not understand MC life, but I’m not stupid to the way it works either. I figure I know what Dragon had to face. I don’t want to think about it. It might make me a hypocrite, but I don’t really care.
“Dragon baby?” I whisper into the room. He turns, walks over to me and gets back under the cover. I smile as he pulls me to him.
“Sorry Mama, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I just missed you,” I said truthfully. I hold him close, the chill of his body making me shiver before I settle into him, letting him take some of my body heat.
Dragon leans down and kisses the top of my head.
“So fucking sweet,” he says. I smile and kiss along his collar bone.
“You okay sweetheart?” I ask, knowing the truth but not going there, unless he shares first.
“Just got a lot on my mind tonight.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, hoping he would.
“Don’t want my shit to touch you Mama.”
“If we’re going to try and make this work Dragon, that’s not very realistic.”
“Okay then, want to keep you out of it for at least a little longer,” Dragon sighs.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, kissing him again in the same spot.
“You might change your mind if you know what kind of blood is on my hands Nicole.”
“Do you want me here?” I ask, deciding a different approach is needed.
“No where else Mama,” he says, hugging me a little tighter in reaction.
“Then, I’m here.”
Dragon lets silence take us over. I am a little disappointed, but still I know it will take time for him to get used to sharing with me. I need to be patient. I’ve already seen small changes in him.
I let my hand trail down his stomach, my fingers following the line of his tattoo. It’s of a wolf howling; his fangs eerily covered in blood with the word Savages MC at a diagonal written in the blood. Underneath that the words, Live Free or Die Trying are placed. I have seen that insignia all through the club. It is on the arms or backs of each of the members. Yet, on Dragon it is different. On the others it was frightening almost menacing, on Dragon it is sad and beautiful.
Our room is dark and quiet. The sounds from the party in the main room had died down long ago. I pull closer to Dragon, our legs interlocked, his arm holding me at his side, my head resting on his shoulder. I can’t remember ever being as happy as I am in this moment. I don’t know why, but here in this moment, after everything we had done tonight, I feel like I’ve found where I belong.
My lips press a kiss over Dragon’s heart. He can act mean and tough and I even understand why, but he has another side to him. A side he lets me see, a side that makes me want to reach out and never let him go. I love him. I can’t deny it anymore. I’m not ready to share that with him though, if he had been listening in the shower he might know now.
It hasn’t been long, and some would say nowhere near the time needed to feel as deeply as I did. I don’t care what they say. It doesn’t matter to me. I know. I love Dragon—time and caution be damned.
“What’s your real name?” I whisper. If he isn’t ready to share the club with me, then I need this part of him. I need to know I’m not totally invested by myself.
Dragon sighs, “Mama I don’t want to get into this shit tonight.”
“Please?” I ask. It is important. In my heart I know now Dragon was it for me. If we don’t work out, there will never be another man who will get all of me like I am willing to give him.
“Some kids don’t have white picket fences Nicole. Hell they don’t even have houses.”
“I know that Dragon.”
“Knowing it and living it are two different things Mama.”
“And you lived it?” I asked. I can feel my stomach twisting.
“Fuck Mama, I burned in hell with it.”
I let my hand move to his other side and pull him closer to me. I want to absorb his words, let him know I am here with him.