Kat and Blake shared a tent, of course. Then Erica declared that she wasn't sleeping in a tent by herself and Johnny was all too happy to let her share with him. I saw red.
Now they were over there putting up their tent together, laughing, while I was gripping my tent poles so hard that I thought they might snap. We hadn't even been there a full hour yet and I was about to lose my shit.
Blake and Kat finished putting up their tent, and Blake headed over to help me with mine. I think he could tell that I was barely holding on to my restraint.
"So what does everyone want to do tomorrow?" Kat asked as she started organizing the food near the picnic table.
"Fishing," Johnny and Cash said at the same time.
"I want to go hiking to the waterfall," Kat interjected.
"Well me, you, and Erica can go hiking while the boys go fishing." Blake, ever the woman pleaser.
"That sounds good," Erica spoke up.
"I'd rather go hiking. I'll go with you guys."
Erica's shocked eyes met mine, and I saw a moment of panic before she hid it.
I didn't care though. There was no way I was going to sit around with Johnny and Cash while she went off hiking, or worse, let Johnny decide to go with her instead. It was bad enough that they were sharing that damn tent together.
The rest of the evening went by pretty quickly. We cooked hotdogs over the fire, listened to music, and reminisced about old times. Erica sat as far away from me as she could possibly get, but I always had her within my line of sight. It was maddening.
I was struggling with myself and what I wanted from her. Logically, I knew that I needed to stay away from her. I was no good for her and nothing but harm would come from the two of us being together, but it was hard to remember that logic when she was close.
Her blonde curls blew in the soft breeze making me want to run my rough hands through them. Her full lips were turned up in a smile as she laughed with the group. I wanted to kiss the hell out of those lips, but more frightening, I wanted to be the one who put that smile on her face.
When it was time to go to sleep, I got up before everyone else and headed to my tent. I was a strong man, but I knew I couldn't handle watching her enter that tent with Johnny. I would end up killing one of my best friends.
I woke up startled when a sound came from outside our tent. Johnny was sleeping on the far left side and I was on the far right. I knew it pissed Gabe off that we were in here together, but there was nothing between Johnny and I. We were strictly friends.
The sound rang out again and I pulled the covers over my head as if it would help me. What if it was a bear? I didn't want to scream out for help because I didn't want to bring attention to my tent. It may have been selfish, but I'd be damned if I stopped it from whatever it was doing to bring attention to fresh meat.
I pushed the blanket down my body and started crawling toward Johnny. I was going to wake his butt up and send him out into the wilderness. This was the exact reason why I didn't want to sleep alone. I needed someone to protect me.
As I was lifting my hand to shake Johnny's shoulder, I heard a noise again, but this time it was followed by a voice.
"Please, don't hurt her."
My mind didn't catch up to my body at first. I abandoned waking up Johnny and leapt for the opening of the tent. My hands shook as I pulled at the zipper, struggling to get it open.
There was no doubt in my mind that it was Gabe's voice, and he sounded so scared. Hurt. Tortured.
It didn't matter that I hated him in that moment. All I cared about was getting to him and taking away whatever was causing him pain.
I jumped out of the tent expecting to see … well something. But the night sky was pitch black except for the soft glow of the moon through the trees. The only sounds I heard were crickets, the creek nearby, and the whimpers of the man I unfortunately loved.
I headed straight for his tent and pulled the zipper open. Gabe was laying in the middle of the tent in fetal position, and he had the blanket clutched against his chest. I could see sweat beading off his handsome face that was scrunched in fear or maybe anger. Possibly a combination of both.
I climbed into his tent and knelt down beside him. I said his name softly at first, but he didn't budge. His dream seemed to have him in its grips and was reluctant to let him go.
I reached my hand out slowly, cautious about the reaction he could have, and gently shook his shoulder. He jerked away from my touch, but he still didn't wake up. He seemed to curl harder into himself and whimpered out, "No. Please."
I didn't register the tears falling down my face until that moment. He seemed to be in so much pain, and I just wanted to make it go away. I placed my hands on his shoulders, rougher this time, and shook him slightly while calling his name.
"Please wake up, Gabe."
He shot up into sitting position and barely missed slamming his head into mine. Startled, I fell onto my butt.
"What are you doing in here?" he asked while his wild eyes were searching around the tent. He hadn't calmed down from the nightmare yet, and I could see his anxiety as if it had formed a coating on his skin.
"You were having a nightmare. I came to help you," I whispered. I don't know why I feared his reaction so badly, but I didn't want him to push me away.
He slammed his eyes closed and rubbed his hands down his face. His hands shook as they roughly passed over his forehead to his jaw.
"I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm sorry you saw me like that." His voice was rougher than usual and there was a vulnerability in it that I had only ever heard one other time.
"It's okay that you woke me up. I want to be here for you."
I don't know what possessed me to say that to him. He had been cruel to me over the last few months, but none of that mattered anymore. Nothing mattered besides making sure he was okay.
He looked up at me and stared into my eyes. "I'm better now. You can go back to your tent with Johnny." I saw his jaw tense when he said Johnny's name whether it was intentional or not.
"I don't want to go back to Johnny's tent. I want to stay in here with you. Please don't push me out." He had to know that I was talking about the tent and his life. I wanted him to open up to me. To let me in.
He stared at me for a few more moments before he reluctantly scooted over and patted the spot next to him on the sleeping bag. My heart raced as I crawled toward him and laid down. I knew that I should've left as soon as I knew he was okay, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. His scent was covering the pillow where I laid my head, and it washed over me within seconds. He smelled like spice and Gabe. A deadly combination.
I could tell he was still trying to grasp onto reality after his nightmare so I turned my back to him to give him a moment to collect himself. I scooted close enough to him that I could feel his skin against mine. The connection brought me comfort, and I hoped that it would bring some sort of comfort to him as well.
I felt like I barely breathed as I waited for him to lie down, to talk, to do something. Finally, after several minutes, Gabe settled in behind me on the sleeping bag and cuddled against my back. I could barely stop my heart from beating out of my chest when his hand moved around my stomach and pulled me closer against him. I had been dreaming of being held by him like this for months. I knew it would hurt me more tomorrow, but tonight I needed it.
He leaned his face into my neck and audibly inhaled. "Thank you," he breathed out.
No, Gabe. Thank you.
The sun was shining through the tent that barely gave any shield to its bright rays. The heat within the tent was proof of that. I felt like I had slept with a damn heated blanket all night long. I squinted my eye open and looked around me. It didn't take me long to see the extra source of heat.
There she was cuddled against me looking like an angel. Her curls were fanned out over my shoulder and her face was smooshed against my chest. She looked fucking perfect.
It took me a moment to remember the night before, and when it finally hit me, I tensed. I never wanted Erica to see me the way she did last night. I didn't think I would have another nightmare last night. Typically, when I had one, it would be weeks before I had another. That was the only reason I had agreed to come on this damn camping trip.
What would she say when she woke up? Would she feel sorry for me? Was she in here with me now out of pity? There were few things that I hated more than someone else's pity. Especially from her.