Break My Fall(88)

“If you upset her Kyle, I’ll kill you, I mean it,” Cam warned, “We’re gonna go grab a coffee, you better not be here when we get back.”

I heard the door close and the chair beside my bed scraped against the floor. His warm hand gripped mine. “Oh baby wake up please,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry.” When his hand touched my stomach, I twisted away, pulling my hand away from his.

I opened my eyes and focused them on him. “Why are you here?” I asked coldly.

His eyebrows jolted up in surprise. “I had to see you, make sure you were okay. My battery on my phone died, I didn’t know you were here, until I got home.”

I stared at him. “I want you to leave.”

He flinched. I didn’t care. “Lee, don’t do this. You’re pregnant? Talk to me baby.”

He reached his hand out for mine, but I pulled back. “I want you to leave Kyle. I’m not ready to speak to you about my baby.”

He shifted helplessly. He looked at a loss for words. “Please don’t block me out of this Lee; I’ve been going out of my mind with worry.”

I bet he had. “You’ve been going out of your mind?” I choked, anger and tears pouring out of my soul. “Have you any idea how afraid I was last night?”

He grabbed my hand, but I pulled back. “I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t,” I warned. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” I was bawling now, big, fat, ugly tears. “I nearly died last night Kyle. While you were with Rachel, I nearly bled to death on the bathroom floor. No matter what happens, she always comes first doesn’t she? She’s your weakness Kyle.”

Tears fell from his eyes. Well good, I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to feel my pain.

“Rachel? No baby she is not my weakness. She’s my fucking punishment. You baby, you are my biggest weakness.”

I wanted him to open up to me. I needed him to tell me the truth. “Why?” I sobbed. “Tell me why you left with her last night?”

He was shaking. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you,” he sobbed, “I needed to talk to Rachel, finish things. There are things you don’t know, things you don’t understand. I can explain everything. I’m here now.”

I balled my fists. “You’re too late,” I whispered. “You should have finished things with Rachel months ago, but you kept me your dirty little secret instead. I’m not stupid Kyle, I watched you keep our relationship hidden. There’s no apology in the world can make up for the fact that you knowingly left me sick and alone. I didn’t know until today, but yes, I am pregnant and it’s yours in case you might think otherwise. And I didn’t mean for it to happen, in case you think I tried to trick you. I know how low your opinion is of me.”

He flinched and anger carried me forward. “I might be carrying one of your babies inside of me, but do not for one moment forget that I lost another.”

He laid his head in his hands, on the bed beside me. His shoulders were shaking. My hand reached out to comfort him, but I snatched it back. I couldn’t comfort him, not now.

“Is it… Is the baby okay?” He was trembling. “Are you?” He lifted his face and looked at me.

I turned away, unable to look at the sadness in his tear filled blue eyes. I had never seen someone look so guilty. “I need to rest right now. Getting upset isn’t good for the baby.”

He stood up slowly, nodding. He wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. “Can I come back later?”

I shook my head. “I need some space Kyle, to get my head around everything. I need time.”

He shuddered and nodded slowly. Inhaling sharply, he bent down and kissed my forehead.

I closed my eyes. It was too painful to watch him leave.

He moved to the door and looked back. “You’ll never know how sorry I am.”

Then he was gone.

I let out a scream I had been holding in, allowing the sadness to envelope me, as I cried for my lost baby and for a man who would never love me.





Kyle





I made it to the truck before I dropped to my knees. I collapsed on the ground. My life was train wrecking before my eyes and I couldn’t do a fucking thing about it.

I had finally done it. I’d ruined Lee, in more ways than I had ever imagined humanly possible.

That frightened girl in the hospital bed? I had done that. I had broken her. And this time I couldn’t fix it. I couldn’t make things better for her.

I cried hard and loud. I didn’t give two shits if anyone saw me. My world was broken.