“Why?” I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything about her.
Her lips tightened. “You would have to ask my father,” she said. “He was very…controlling.”
What the fuck kind of father didn’t let his kid go trick or treating. It made me wonder.
“Did you like school when you were growing up?” I asked as we passed the college campus.
“I enjoyed the learning side of it.” She was being implicit.
“What about the rest of it?” I asked. “You know, like going to field parties with your friends. School dances, homecoming, dating?” I was prying. I knew I was, but I had this itch inside of me to know her inside out.
“I didn’t have any friends and I wasn’t allowed to date. My first party was when I first moved here, the night you…” Her voice trailed off and I cleared my throat.
She was referring to the night I’d kissed her in my kitchen; the night that had ignited this fucking obsession with her. I rubbed my hand over my chest. It hurt when she said she didn’t have friends growing up. I felt a raw protectiveness towards her that I’d never felt for anyone in my life. I wanted to tuck Lee under my arm and shield her from the shit reality of life.
“So you weren’t allowed to date, but did you ever sneak out?” I asked. “It’s hard to believe that a beautiful girl like you never went on a date.” Now I was nosy.
I peeked over at her and frowned. She was gone deathly pale; her whole body tensed.
“What did Cam tell you?” she whispered. She looked…devastated.
“She told me enough, I’d rather hear it from you,” I lied. I hadn’t a fucking clue what she was talking about, but from Lee’s reaction, I was on to something.
“It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have gone. It truly was my own fault.” She pressed her fingers against her temples.
“I don’t think it was,” I said, hoping I was on the same page as her.
“Kyle, if I hadn’t gone, none of what happened afterwards would have happened. I’d have my diploma and be in college by now.” She looked angry with herself. What the fuck had she done? Where had she gone that stopped her from graduating highschool?
I raked my brain for the most ambiguous response I could muster. “What do you think would have changed if you didn’t go?” I was kind of proud of myself for that one.
“You mean apart from the fact that I wouldn’t be a highschool dropout?” She was angry. I needed to thread carefully.
“Yeah, apart from that?”
Lee sighed and I could hear the quiver in her voice. This was upsetting her. “I wouldn’t be here for one,” she said and I flinched. Ouch, that stung like a bitch. “I’d still have nightmares, but I’d only have one monster to run from,” she whispered.
I knew about the nightmares. They were fucking scary.
One monster? How many monsters did she have?
“And I wouldn’t be terrified and fearful that every time a man came too close, he was going to try and rape me.”
I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t fucking breathe. My mind couldn’t focus on anything other than that one word; Rape. Someone had tried to rape her?
Lee….My Lee.
Mother Fucker…
Lee
I hated Cam for telling him. I hated Kyle for making me tell him again. Cam I would forgive, but not Kyle. Not now, that he was ignoring me again. He’d asked me and I told him. It wasn’t the worst secret I had, but it was a close second.
“You can let me off anywhere here,” I told him. We were driving down a street I was familiar with. I could find my way back to the house on foot.
He didn’t respond, or slow the truck down. “Kyle, I said let me out,” I snapped.
I was done. I was so done with all the bullshit. I should have never gotten into his truck. I was a glutton for punishment.
I looked over at him. He had his hands wrapped around the wheel so tight; I thought the skin around his knuckles might crack. His jaw ticked, he swallowed hard. “Just give me a minute,” he said between clenched teeth.
“No. Let me out now.”
He rolled his neck and inhaled deeply through his nose. What was wrong with him? “Lee, baby I’m having a hard time trying to stay calm right now, a real fucking hard time. If you get out of this truck, I’m gonna lose it.”
My mouth dropped open. Awareness smacked me straight in the chest.
“Cam didn’t tell you anything did she? You tricked me.”
His eyes flashed to mine and I could see the guilt in them. I could also see crazed fury. There was no point in asking him to let me out; I knew he’d have more questions.