Linda placed her hand on mine and I realized I hadn’t answered her. “Sorry, my head’s not in this place today.”
She smiled at me sadly. “Where’s your head at Kyle?”
I wanted to tell her, I wanted to offload all my shit on her right here and now. But I couldn’t do it... Linda didn’t know all the things I’d done, she didn’t know about what I’d done to Rachel and if she knew what had happened last night with Lee, I would lose her too.
“It’s all so fucking messed up,” I muttered, hoping I hadn’t given away too much with that statement.
Linda’s kind eyes were staring at me, I didn’t deserve her to look at me like that. “Women have a way of doing that kiddo,” she mused. “I’m guessing that’s the reason you have the lost puppy look on your face.” I nodded.
She could always read me too well.
Chapter Twenty-one
Lee
By ten o clock, I was starving. I’d rushed upstairs to my room quickly after my talk with Cam and stayed there all day. I needed this room and I was going to try my hardest to keep my head low like Cam said. I was not going to give Kyle any further ammunition to throw me out. Although I was fairly certain that it would happen regardless.
I had burned my bridges by slapping him. The things I had said to him were awful. Good God what had come over me? I was not an aggressive person. I hated physical violence. I had acted completely out of character, but he called me those names… He got under my skin.
I shuffled out of bed and crept to my door. Earlier the light bulb had blown in the upstairs landing and even on a chair I was too short to reach the damn thing. I couldn’t hear any movement and I knew Cam and Derek had gone out an hour ago. Figuring the coast was clear, I slipped out of my room and carefully made my way downstairs in the dark, to the kitchen. I could have cried ‘hallelujah’ when I found the kitchen empty.
One handed, I made myself a crummy cheese sandwich and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I didn’t bother to sit at the table; I was too on edge. I ate the sandwich standing over the sink.
When I was finished, I turned off the kitchen light and took my bottle of water with me. Closing out the door, I crept back upstairs, feeling my way in the dark. I gripped my door handle and stepped into my room, closing my door as quietly as I could.
Turning on my light, I noticed someone lying in my bed. Blue sheets? This wasn’t my bed. Oh, god...
Kyle sat up slowly. His eyes were wary and fixed on mine. I dropped my bottle with shock.
“I’m sorry, so sorry,” I muttered as I bent down to get my drink. Goddammit, it rolled under his bed. I dropped to my knees and stretched my good hand out, desperately trying to retrieve my stupid bottle. When the springs on his bed squeaked, I froze.
A dozen different scenarios ran through my mind, all of which ended with me being turned out on the street. My body jumped into action; I leapt up from the floor.
“You know I wasn’t thirsty anyway,” I babbled. “It was dark, I didn’t mean to come in here, I meant the second door on the right.” I grabbed the door handle.
“Wait.”
I froze, my body obeying his command. I sucked in a trembling breath, but didn’t dare turn around. I felt him approach me, the hairs on the back of my neck rose and I shuddered. I battled down the urge to whimper.
“Wait,” he said again, barely more than a whisper. I felt his fingertips brush against my shoulder for the briefest of moments and my body flamed in heat.
I inhaled deeply and turned to face him. Kyle stepped back when I turned around and I wished he didn’t. He was naked everywhere with the exception of a pair of black silky boxer shorts. Sweet Lord almighty…
“Are you okay?” he croaked. His eyes were such a deep blue I had a hard time concentrating on anything else. He stretched his hand out and gently touched his thumb against my injured wrist, pulling his hand back quickly. He was nervous. I put my hands behind my back.
“I’m fine.” I was afraid to say anything else that may lead to another argument.
He groaned and bit his lip, as if he was in pain and ran a hand through his messy hair. He paced the floor, clearly agitated. “I’ve never-” he paused, closing his eyes. I watched his chest rise and fall quickly. “I have never laid a hand on a woman in my life,” he whispered, his eyes still closed. “I need you to know that. I would never hurt you intentionally. I’m not that guy Lee.”
My heart melted. He was clearly distraught. I wanted to find the words to heal him. I wanted him to stop feeling so bad for something I started. “You didn’t… I mean it’s okay Kyle, it was my fault. I know you’re not that guy.”