Break My Fall(23)

“Do you think you deserve to be happy? You know what that accident cost me. You’re a fucking waste of fresh air Kyle Carter. You should have died that night.” I couldn’t agree more with her. It would have been easier to have died in a car crash, then deal with the consequences and live this fucking empty life.





Lee





I hid in the living room until I heard the front door slam. I took that as a sign Rachel had let and released a breath I felt like I had been holding for an eternity. I’d been in here cleaning when Rachel barged in, screaming and shouting at Kyle. They had a massive fight, over me.

She knew about last night. Someone told her and she was furious. I cringed thinking of the horrible things she said to Kyle. My urge to run out to the hall and protect him had disintegrated when I heard the sharp crack of flesh hitting flesh. I knew that sound well, I had felt it often enough.

I sat on the couch, focusing on breathing slow and even and trying to ignore the instinct of self-preservation raging inside of my body, urging me to run. The door opened and Kyle walked in, his eyes widened when he saw me. His reddened cheek was proof as to who received the slap I had heard being bestowed.

A moment of relief surged through me, followed swiftly by an even greater feeling of anguish. I was on my feet and in front of Kyle within seconds. “Are you okay?” I reached up and stroked his cheek. “Did she hurt you? Are you sore?” I could feel the tears trickling down my face, but I couldn’t stop crying. “You’re not any of those names she called you. Don’t listen to her.”

The dark side of me was relieved, relieved that it hadn’t been Kyle. That he didn’t hit…women. Thinking this wasn’t the reason I was crying; it was the reason I couldn’t stop. I was a terrible person.

“Shit Lee, I didn’t know you were in here,” he groaned. Kyle clasped my face in his hands and looked down at me; his face was etched with concern. He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs, wiping my tears. “Relax, everything’s okay.” Kyle pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms me. He held my head against his heart with one hand and stroked my back with the other. I felt my body relax against the warmth of his and the rapid beat of his heart. “I’m fine. Please stop crying princess. I don’t want you upset.”

I nodded and slowly pulled away from him and moved towards to the couch. I sank down and covered my face in hands.

“What was that?” he asked eventually when the silence grew thick.

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “I don’t like violence.” It was all I could say. I could hardly tell him about the turbulent emotions whizzing through me, all of which concentrated on him.

“Are you sure that’s all it was? Because I’m gonna be honest with you Lee, that was scary.” Oh great, I freaked him out.

I faked a smile, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just…I really do not like violence. I am sorry. I don’t like knowing she hits you because of me.”

Kyle let out a soft sigh. “Don’t say sorry. That wasn’t your fault, she doesn’t need much of an excuse to fly off the handle,” he said. “I’m just glad you’ve not been around to witness Rachel’s outbursts. You would have flooded the house with those tears.” I knew he was trying to crack a joke. It wasn’t funny.

“You mean she does that a lot to you?” I whispered. I could hear the disgust dripping from my question.

Kyle shrugged. “She has a bad temper. She lashes out. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”

I stood up. I could feel my body shaking. “Why do you let her do that to you?”

Kyle laughed. I could tell it was forced. “Have you looked at me lately, princess? I can take a few bitch slaps here and there.” How could he make jokes about this?

“It’s not a joke Kyle. She shouldn’t be hitting you. She treats you so badly, I can’t stand it. Rachel needs to see someone. What if she does this to someone other than you? What about when she has children…” Kyle stopped me before I could finish.

“Back up Lee, just back the fuck up,” he warned. I backed up, all the way to the opposite side of the room. I could feel the anger vibrating from him. “Whatever psychobabble analysis you’ve constructed in your head about Rachel you can forget it. You don’t know anything about her. And you definitely don’t know shit about me. So keep your self-help guides and your goddamn opinions to yourself. I’m not interested in hearing anything you have to say right now.”

With that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I crumpled to the floor and let the pain flood me.